I think I’m being taken advantage of by DD friend’s mom

[Anonymous]

I would simply say so sorry but that timing won't work for us. Let's do it another time. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time make sure to get commitments on the details before you agree to it.

Make sure they don't have that great a time.

How would you word that? I’m so bad at things like this!

“Are you OK with Larla come over like the girls’ have been talking about?”

What would you say next to get all the details?

DP and it’s clear the mom needs you as a babysitter. She is asking you to watch her kid. Think about - even if you heard about this from your kid you would wait until the mom reached out with an invite.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had this kind of thing happen to me OP. I’ll go along with it for a while then realize it’s not being reciprocated then start saying no. I think I’m too nice and people do take advantage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Next time make sure to get commitments on the details before you agree to it.

Make sure they don't have that great a time.

How would you word that? I’m so bad at things like this!

“Are you OK with Larla come over like the girls’ have been talking about?”

What would you say next to get all the details?

“Sounds fun! Larlaette adores Larla! I am not sure if it’ll work and need a few details, could we chat today at XPM to figure them out?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get off texting. Talk by phone like real adults.

+1


This situation probably happened partly due to texting.

[Anonymous]

Everyone wants a village but no one wants to BE the village.

[Anonymous]

Put the girl in an Uber to grandmas at 6 with a sack dinner. You obviously don’t want to help another mom out.

[Anonymous]

I’d be annoyed to OP.
I would be ok picking up the kids from school but would have had enough of the playdate by 530/6pm.
You are not wrong to not want a kid you don’t know at your house until 9pm.
I would say Grandma can pick her up at 6 ( or whatever works) and if that’s not possible do the play date another day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She's very strange.

I would welcome her daughter until the stated time, then not accept a playdate again. This poor kid is maybe desperate to socialize with normal people, but I don't have the bandwidth to deal with such parents.

+1. It is absolutely rude to do what she did knowing the bus rules and then when her kid is already at OP’s house to extend it till 9pm. If she is working then she knew already what the situation was and totally took advantage of OP.

Yes it takes a village sometimes but you don’t do crap like this.

[Anonymous]

I have younger kids and am not to the hanging out with friends stage yet but is this really an issue for people? This sort of thing happened alllllllll the time growing up. I grew up in a middle lower class town so a lot of friends parents worked nights or weekends and my mom stayed at home and she was super willing to make our house the hang out place (she also yes has a heart of gold and pulled out 6 course meals every night). I had friends over all the time whose parents picked them up after work. I’m scared about what this says about parenting these days if someone asking this one time is this big of an issue.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like the girl would have been taken care of by her grandmother if she was not going to your house. I’m not sure you are being taken advantage of. If the grandmother lives far, just let her stay until 9.

I’m a sahm and no one has ever tried doing this. If anything, the parent will say they are working and can’t drive their child. That is where I would either offer to drive the kids or just accept the decline of invitation.

I have 3 kids. 2 kids try to make plans all the time. Kids put me on the spot all the time. Sometimes I say yes. Usually the answer is not today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have younger kids and am not to the hanging out with friends stage yet but is this really an issue for people? This sort of thing happened alllllllll the time growing up. I grew up in a middle lower class town so a lot of friends parents worked nights or weekends and my mom stayed at home and she was super willing to make our house the hang out place (she also yes has a heart of gold and pulled out 6 course meals every night). I had friends over all the time whose parents picked them up after work. I’m scared about what this says about parenting these days if someone asking this one time is this big of an issue.

In a few years you will laugh at yourself for writing this 😊

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would simply say so sorry but that timing won't work for us. Let's do it another time. No big deal.

It sounds like you don’t want to host the kid. Just say the timing doesn’t work for you.

What time would you expect her to pick up? 6?

I have kids over all the time. If a mom asked me a favor, I would do it. I probably would not like the way the mom asked if her daughter could come over and then later say she can’t pick up until 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get off texting. Talk by phone like real adults.

Lol. 1970 called looking for you.

I think it’s a good idea for a call instead of ping ponging in this case.

A weekday “play date” until 9 pm is too long. Maybe switch it to a day when mom can pick up early.

Then how will the friend get to Grandma's house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have younger kids and am not to the hanging out with friends stage yet but is this really an issue for people? This sort of thing happened alllllllll the time growing up. I grew up in a middle lower class town so a lot of friends parents worked nights or weekends and my mom stayed at home and she was super willing to make our house the hang out place (she also yes has a heart of gold and pulled out 6 course meals every night). I had friends over all the time whose parents picked them up after work. I’m scared about what this says about parenting these days if someone asking this one time is this big of an issue.

In a few years you will laugh at yourself for writing this 😊

I’m part of a group that hosts activities around the city for foster kids after school. They’re not my kids, I don’t even know them. So no, I don’t think I will have a problem hosting *my kids’ friends*