I think I’m being taken advantage of by DD friend’s mom

[Anonymous]

I had something like this happen, a mom texted me “Larlo wants to have a play date, when can he come over?” Our kids had planned this together, but it was odd to me to suggest a play date and then “also it’s at your house”. It was fine by me, though, because I don’t even know the kid and I’m not sending mine over to a stranger’s house. He was a nightmare of a kid, and I’m just hoping I never have to do it again.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like this. Unfortunately, it's the mother of DC's best friend. Once I figured out how things were going to be, I started laying down rules the second a plan was made. Like, "Sure, Larla can come over, but I'm working from home and can't drive her home." Always be ready to give a warning that you can't do whatever thing it is you're about to be stuck doing. And be firm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it incredible that people on here are siding with the mom. She intentionally did not covet facts to OP when discussing the play date of the 9pm time.

For all you people, let’s arrange a 1st play date with a child and family who you don’t know. Then when the kid is there tell you that she either needs to stay till 9pm or you need to drive far away and drop her off at grandmom.

Who in their right mind does this s’hit?

PP directly before you - a lot of people prefer to be jerks and then criticize other people for not "using their words" and telling them they're being jerks. Those are the people defending 9pm playdate mom.

You realize people have more than 1 child and often don’t get home until late after sports practice/games.

If you plan a playdate there is no expectation someone is just sitting at home waiting for it to be over.

If late pickup is not an option and u can’t drop of “use your words”.

I have three kids and, yes, if I'm scheduling a playdate for one of them, you're damn right I expect a caregiver to be around at a reasonable hour for drop-off, if the kid is young enough to need one.

Moreover, if I need childcare help from a friend, I state it up front. "Larla would love to come over tomorrow, but Larlo has a late soccer game and DH is out of town. Is 9pm pick up too late - happy to reschedule if so."

Stop picking on the OP for not "using her words" when the 9pm playdate mom isn't using hers.

The 9pm playdate mom has used her words. She has explicitly said in order for this playdate to work she can pick up at 9 or the kid needs to be dropped off at grandma. Now it's op's turn. "Sorry that doesn't work for us - let's do another time."

So simple. No one is taking advantage. DON'T say YES if you don't mean it and your feelings of being taken advantage of will decrease.

I disagree with the bolded, at least the way the OP has conveyed it.

This woman texted the OP and asked if her kid could come over. That's already rude when it's someone she doesn't know at all. But then, when OP agreed, she threw in the 9pm or Grandma weirdness as if it's not weird at all. That may be using her words in the technical sense, but it's disingenuous enough to undermine the whole point of honest communication.

[Anonymous]

OP, it’s weird and rude that this mom 1) Invited her kid to your house and 2) Forgot to mention she can’t pick up until 9?!

Not sure what all these other PPs are talking about. I would just respond and tell her that pickup time won’t work for you that night and suggest another day and time that works for you. I don’t think there’s any problem with that. It has to work for both sides. Don’t be a chump.