Being sober is boring as hell

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So we don’t get off track calling OP names.

Stages of alcohol use -> alcoholism

Social drinking - healthy
Habitual drinking - unhealthy
Daily or binge drinking - alcohol abuse
Addicted to alcohol - Alcoholism

OP has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Curious where you got this? I thought the current diagnosis was the stages of Substance Use Disorder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, my husband didn't get sober, probably because life without alcohol was boring to him. He died at age 46. So, there are worse things than being bored.

Died of what though?

[Anonymous]

Plan morning things to do or after dinner things to do. I find I am much more likely to do both of things if I am not having a drink.

So, on Saturday morning plan something earlier than you ever would that you really want to do. That way Friday night won't feel "wasted" and you'll be motivated to go to bed a bit earlier. Then go do the thing with a clear head.

I still drink, but have been cutting back a lot because I want to do other things instead now.

[Anonymous]

I drank every day, tried to moderate without success, finally admitted that I was addicted to alcohol, and stopped completely over 20 years ago.

It is indeed often boring.

That said, being around people who drink when you are sober makes you realize that the fun they are having is often pretty stupid.

So. Is it possible that you are clinically depressed? If you have fatigue and everything seems colorless, it’s possible that you were drinking because you have depression. I have felt better since going on Lexapro.

Do you have friends who do things other than drink? Finding those friends is key. Going to museums, hiking, making art, engaging in community projects, reading good books, taking a class, finding exercise that you enjoy…
All of that can take the space that drinking used to take but it’s all going to be hard to do if you’re clinically depressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So we don’t get off track calling OP names.

Stages of alcohol use -> alcoholism

Social drinking - healthy
Habitual drinking - unhealthy
Daily or binge drinking - alcohol abuse
Addicted to alcohol - Alcoholism

OP has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

Curious where you got this? I thought the current diagnosis was the stages of Substance Use Disorder.

Completely made up.

[Anonymous]

What did you used to do while drinking that was fun that you are no longer doing? Is it just the socializing? Is it that you don't want to be around people who are drinking, or that you find the people who used to be interesting are no longer fun now that you're drunk?

The answers to those questions would change the advice I would offer.

[Anonymous]

The solution might lie in thinking more about why you liked drinking.
What did you do when you were drinking? Were you out socializing? Drinking at home by yourself? When you say it's boring not drinking, that makes me think that you have given up things that you did that were associated with drinking, so maybe there's a way to fill that gap.

[Anonymous]

Then you're doing it wrong. I have never been a drinker and I have tons of fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did you used to do while drinking that was fun that you are no longer doing? Is it just the socializing? Is it that you don't want to be around people who are drinking, or that you find the people who used to be interesting are no longer fun now that you're not drinking?

The answers to those questions would change the advice I would offer.

Arg. Messed up that sentence. Edited in bold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did you used to do while drinking that was fun that you are no longer doing? Is it just the socializing? Is it that you don't want to be around people who are drinking, or that you find the people who used to be interesting are no longer fun now that you're drunk?

The answers to those questions would change the advice I would offer.

That’s kind of the problem. I took a job in an area where I have one husband and wife set of friends. My partner died by suicide last summer. My child moved out last year. It’s just me and my dog. All of these changes were more manageable with booze, and now I’m stuck with the quiet and the boredom.

Some of this is likely also depression. I’m just stuck with a lot of unpleasant feelings, and things I used to enjoy aren’t fun anymore. Reading through this thread has kind of clarified this part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been drinking too much for about 3 or 4 years. I now have to stop due to pretty bad GI issues that I’m fairly certain were caused by drinking.

It’s just so boring! I know I need to pickup some hobbies, but how long does this last? I’ve been trying to cut back, with varying success for about a year. I have a terrible attitude about quitting when I don’t want to quit.

Anyone who’s BTDT have any idea how long this lasts? I’ve been mostly alcohol-free for more than 2 weeks.

That just confirms you are an alcoholic.

Thanks, Captain Obvious.

dp.. judging by your op, it does not appear that this is obvious to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you used to do while drinking that was fun that you are no longer doing? Is it just the socializing? Is it that you don't want to be around people who are drinking, or that you find the people who used to be interesting are no longer fun now that you're drunk?

The answers to those questions would change the advice I would offer.

That’s kind of the problem. I took a job in an area where I have one husband and wife set of friends. My partner died by suicide last summer. My child moved out last year. It’s just me and my dog. All of these changes were more manageable with booze, and now I’m stuck with the quiet and the boredom.

Some of this is likely also depression. I’m just stuck with a lot of unpleasant feelings, and things I used to enjoy aren’t fun anymore. Reading through this thread has kind of clarified this part.

Having a partner die, and suddenly, is very sad. You need to let yourself feel the sadness. It may feel overwhelming at times, but the sadness over a sudden death ebbs and flows, and you will learn to live with the grief. Your child hopefully moved for good reasons - remind yourself of those, and put effort into establishing/maintaining an adult relationship with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did you used to do while drinking that was fun that you are no longer doing? Is it just the socializing? Is it that you don't want to be around people who are drinking, or that you find the people who used to be interesting are no longer fun now that you're drunk?

The answers to those questions would change the advice I would offer.

That’s kind of the problem. I took a job in an area where I have one husband and wife set of friends. My partner died by suicide last summer. My child moved out last year. It’s just me and my dog. All of these changes were more manageable with booze, and now I’m stuck with the quiet and the boredom.

Some of this is likely also depression. I’m just stuck with a lot of unpleasant feelings, and things I used to enjoy aren’t fun anymore. Reading through this thread has kind of clarified this part.

I'm so sorry, OP. That's a lot to deal with!

Could you find a church group or local fitness-oriented group to hang out with?

[Anonymous]

I"m with you. I totally hate seltzer water. I hate super fizzy drinks. Drink seltzer with lemon or whatever is the ONLY thing people suggest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree your GI issues are likely alcohol related. I wish someone had told my mom that five years ago.

I like seltzer water with fresh lime. Or water with lime. More than just one wedge, a good pour of lime juice.

You could also try gummies. Then you won't be bored.

THC gummies? Those are way worse than alcohol, do not even go there.