Drinks with female colleague

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if she’s married but works for him and is 5-10 years younger?

The colleague could be me. I’ve been married to my wife for several years now. I would have no interest in your husband/my colleague.

Okay, what if she is straight and attractive?

So what if she is? The question is why are you so insecure that you’re asking some anonymous board. Grow up. Either you trust him and the foundation of your marriage or you don’t. It’s just a drink.

DH’s affair started with “just a drink.” Thought we had a great marriage. The trust is there until someone pulls the rug out from underneath you.

Yep. I trusted my spouse unconditionally. And- it turned into a 3-year thing…

[Anonymous]

If it was someone I knew and was friends with, then no problem.

[Anonymous]

In my case, my DH’s drinks with his married coworker led to her crying on his shoulder about her rough life. Our marriage wasn’t in a good place at the time, he got sucked into her drama, and because she made him feel needed, he became her “savior”. One night, she made a move on him and, you can guess the rest. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been surprised since we were basically just coparenting at the time, but I did feel blindsided nonetheless. So, I think if your marriage isn’t really healthy, you should be concerned and work on making your relationship better. If you have open communication and a healthy marriage, you probably don’t have anything to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. My husband travels for work and does this frequently.

[Anonymous]

I on a business trip at this moment and just got back to my room after dinner and drinks with the male coworker I am traveling with.

We sat next to each other on the flight, drove to our hotel, went to dinner and had two drinks at the bar. We have spent way more than two hrs alone, nothing happening there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my case, my DH’s drinks with his married coworker led to her crying on his shoulder about her rough life. Our marriage wasn’t in a good place at the time, he got sucked into her drama, and because she made him feel needed, he became her “savior”. One night, she made a move on him and, you can guess the rest. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have been surprised since we were basically just coparenting at the time, but I did feel blindsided nonetheless. So, I think if your marriage isn’t really healthy, you should be concerned and work on making your relationship better. If you have open communication and a healthy marriage, you probably don’t have anything to worry about.

Of course she made the move on him

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I on a business trip at this moment and just got back to my room after dinner and drinks with the male coworker I am traveling with.

We sat next to each other on the flight, drove to our hotel, went to dinner and had two drinks at the bar. We have spent way more than two hrs alone, nothing happening there.

If he is attractive and you are a 5 or better give it time. Especially if you both have kids and all the grind that brings along. Out away from responsibilities, dinner, drinks………..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I on a business trip at this moment and just got back to my room after dinner and drinks with the male coworker I am traveling with.

We sat next to each other on the flight, drove to our hotel, went to dinner and had two drinks at the bar. We have spent way more than two hrs alone, nothing happening there.

If he is attractive and you are a 5 or better give it time. Especially if you both have kids and all the grind that brings along. Out away from responsibilities, dinner, drinks………..

+100

[Anonymous]

It's not the best choice. If I am having drinks with male colleagues I make sure to go in a group and keep intake minimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if she’s married but works for him and is 5-10 years younger?

The colleague could be me. I’ve been married to my wife for several years now. I would have no interest in your husband/my colleague.

Okay, what if she is straight and attractive?

So what if she is? The question is why are you so insecure that you’re asking some anonymous board. Grow up. Either you trust him and the foundation of your marriage or you don’t. It’s just a drink.

Just stupid guy here but you sound awfully naive. Just sayin'

[Anonymous]

This is why there will never be true equality in the workplace, or on earth, for women.

Does her broadly go out for drinks with colleagues, OP? If not, then you have a husband problem, not a female coworker problem. If so, then why are you so focused on this one encounter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why there will never be true equality in the workplace, or on earth, for women.

Does her broadly go out for drinks with colleagues, OP? If not, then you have a husband problem, not a female coworker problem. If so, then why are you so focused on this one encounter?

You are dense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if she’s married but works for him and is 5-10 years younger?

The colleague could be me. I’ve been married to my wife for several years now. I would have no interest in your husband/my colleague.

Okay, what if she is straight and attractive?

So what if she is? The question is why are you so insecure that you’re asking some anonymous board. Grow up. Either you trust him and the foundation of your marriage or you don’t. It’s just a drink.

Just stupid guy here but you sound awfully naive. Just sayin'

NP. People who are going to break the boundaries are going to do that. Spouses shouldn’t be in the position of putting leashes on them. So, yes, it happens. But with the people who do it, seems like they were going to stray given the opportunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if she’s married but works for him and is 5-10 years younger?

The colleague could be me. I’ve been married to my wife for several years now. I would have no interest in your husband/my colleague.

Okay, what if she is straight and attractive?

So what if she is? The question is why are you so insecure that you’re asking some anonymous board. Grow up. Either you trust him and the foundation of your marriage or you don’t. It’s just a drink.

Just stupid guy here but you sound awfully naive. Just sayin'

NP. People who are going to break the boundaries are going to do that. Spouses shouldn’t be in the position of putting leashes on them. So, yes, it happens. But with the people who do it, seems like they were going to stray given the opportunity.

LOL. You would think, right? When your di*k gets the control stick, game over. Women's mistake, IMHO, is that you seem to think there are two groups of guys. There isn't. Your faithful husband will be faithful no more if the mood is right. Don't get me wrong, i have never done it to my wife and i am aware enough not to put myself in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What if she’s married but works for him and is 5-10 years younger?

The colleague could be me. I’ve been married to my wife for several years now. I would have no interest in your husband/my colleague.

Okay, what if she is straight and attractive?

So what if she is? The question is why are you so insecure that you’re asking some anonymous board. Grow up. Either you trust him and the foundation of your marriage or you don’t. It’s just a drink.

DH’s affair started with “just a drink.” Thought we had a great marriage. The trust is there until someone pulls the rug out from underneath you.

So are you saying that telling your spouse that he couldn’t go out for a drink would have saved your marriage? If not, what ARE you saying?

My DH was an adult with agency. He was going to do what he wanted to; however, I wish I had come to grips with the reality sooner, as in when little things started happening that struck me as off for him. Instead I told myself infidelity would never happen. Reading a PP say “grow up” and “it’s just a drink” sounds a lot like what a cheater would say to mask their behavior.

+100