Anyone have a mother who likes to be stabby on your Birthday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here, I'll make up another one for you.

OP: My husband suddenly started working out a few months, and he is dressing nicer. He is working nights and going on weekend business trips. When he's home, he's snippy with me and I sometimes find him texting, and then he hides the screen. I found a pair of panties that aren't mine in his suitcase, and a pack of condoms, which we don't use. What in the world could be going on?
NP: I think your DH is having an affair!
DP: My DH was behaving similarly, and then I discovered he was having an affair.
Crazy Lady Poster: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? YOU DON'T KNOW HER DH!! YOU ARE MAKING THINGS UP. FICTION!! YOU ARE A BIZARRE PERSON WHO MAKES THINGS UP ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!

So, Crazy Lady Poster, I will break it down for you. Behavior happens in patterns. Some patterns indicate certain things, like that your DH is having an affair, or that your mother has a personality disorder (PD). When your mother has a personality disorder, she has a pattern of behavior that is just like other PDs. One pattern of a PD is to DARVO in any conversation in which she in confronted by a complaint about herself. So the ensuing conversation, after telling mom "I don't like it when you lash out on my birthday," is extremely predictable.

Crazy Lady Poster == anybody who doesn't slot into your scenarios.

Who's the crazy one?

Crazy Lady Poster, you have a pattern and I showed it to you. You read and post in the threads about parent/adult child difficulties even though you claim to not have those problems. You post weird circular arguments about what it is OK or not OK to say, speculate about or assume. You are triggered by the suggestion that mothers might be abusive. You DARVO. You fit the pattern of an abusive parent who has been cut off. And yeah, I know your next move is to deny that (your adult children are perfectly happy!), and accuse me of crazy behavior (I am a crazy fiction writer who has big problems!) and say that I have victimized you by saying so (you're being abusive to me! You're an abusive person!). Go ahead ...

^^^ Somebody who has zero business giving relationship advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gawd, the Cut Them Off! contingent is out in full force today.

OP, ignore these drama queens who don't want your best interest any more than your mom appears to want it on your birthday. Surely you can handle your problems in direct conversation with your mother.

I think most people are assuming that OP has already tried addressing this with her mother. The kind of mental illness OP is describing doesn't pop up overnight. Why would you assume she hasn't? You openly admit that her mother doesn't have her best interests. What kind of mother doesn't have her child's best interests, especially on her birthday? Doesn't that seem sick to you? Do you really think people with mentally ill family members need to be told to "try to have a direct conversation"?

Why would you assume OP HAS tried to address this with her mother? She's said nothing about that. An assumption hasn't tried is more credible than your assumption that she tried to work it out with mom--OP would have mentioned that.

You're clearly not qualified to give family advice to anybody. You certainly shouldn't be offering family-shattering advice to total strangers.

How about this: why don't you ask OP if she's tried talking directly to mom about it. Or you could suggest OP work with a therapist on the best approach.

And if OP tried but failed to work it out with mom, then the first step would be to ignore mom on her birthday. Instead of your default "cut off her head!" Truly, you're offering horrible, family-shattering advice here. I posted above about my own mom being mean on my birthdays, and I found the refusing to pick up the phone on my birthday and for a few days after that defused the situation very well.

First of all, take a breath and realize there are multiple people posting in this thread. You have no idea what I have posted.

Secondly, you accuse others of being dramatic. Look at your language. "Cut off her head"? Horrible, "family shattering" advice? Come on.

Thirdly, it's absolutely more reasonable to assume that somebody has tried the obvious when dealing with a family member with an illness, mental or otherwise. It's incredibly self centered and ableist to assume that no one but yourself would think to try the obvious solution first.

Fourth, OP is a grown woman, perfectly capable of evaluating all the feedback she is getting. She knows therapy exists. Yet she has chosen to post here. I have faith in her. Why don't you? Why are you so threatened?

What is cutting your mother off if not "family shattering"? Some of you are mentally ill.

I'm not threatened. I'm concerned that drama queens like you are trying to destroy families when working it out and negotiating are possible options.

Just like cutting out a cancer can save the person, cutting out the mentally ill abuser can save the rest of the family.

And OP has already confirmed that she has tried talking to her mom. I don't know why you have so little faith in her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here, I'll make up another one for you.

OP: My husband suddenly started working out a few months, and he is dressing nicer. He is working nights and going on weekend business trips. When he's home, he's snippy with me and I sometimes find him texting, and then he hides the screen. I found a pair of panties that aren't mine in his suitcase, and a pack of condoms, which we don't use. What in the world could be going on?
NP: I think your DH is having an affair!
DP: My DH was behaving similarly, and then I discovered he was having an affair.
Crazy Lady Poster: HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT? YOU DON'T KNOW HER DH!! YOU ARE MAKING THINGS UP. FICTION!! YOU ARE A BIZARRE PERSON WHO MAKES THINGS UP ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE!

So, Crazy Lady Poster, I will break it down for you. Behavior happens in patterns. Some patterns indicate certain things, like that your DH is having an affair, or that your mother has a personality disorder (PD). When your mother has a personality disorder, she has a pattern of behavior that is just like other PDs. One pattern of a PD is to DARVO in any conversation in which she in confronted by a complaint about herself. So the ensuing conversation, after telling mom "I don't like it when you lash out on my birthday," is extremely predictable.

Crazy Lady Poster == anybody who doesn't slot into your scenarios.

Who's the crazy one?

Crazy Lady Poster, you have a pattern and I showed it to you. You read and post in the threads about parent/adult child difficulties even though you claim to not have those problems. You post weird circular arguments about what it is OK or not OK to say, speculate about or assume. You are triggered by the suggestion that mothers might be abusive. You DARVO. You fit the pattern of an abusive parent who has been cut off. And yeah, I know your next move is to deny that (your adult children are perfectly happy!), and accuse me of crazy behavior (I am a crazy fiction writer who has big problems!) and say that I have victimized you by saying so (you're being abusive to me! You're an abusive person!). Go ahead ...

Your ad hominems and fantasies about others' personal lives (OP's and now mine) definitely mark you out as crazy. TBH I doubt you have many strong relationships. But, thanks for asking, my two kids spent a great Thanksgiving home from college with me and are coming back for Christmas. You're so wrong it's pathetic.

I'm here because I'm concerned about your cr@ppy advice and trying to protect the OP's you're targeting with it. Nothing to do with triggering.

NP here. OP already confirmed that she has tried talking to her mom, asking her to stop with the mean gifts, and that the conversation script was similar to conversations (note that it’s plural-multiple conversations) she has had with her mom. So what was your advice again? To keep doing what she already did the didn’t change things? Be grateful that she has a mean mom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Yes, many times I have told her if it comes with a guilt trip, I don't want it-be it a gift, card or well wish. The poster who gave an example of a conversation was not far off. I have definitely had covos like that with her.

OP, I wanted to tell you that when your mom sends you a card with just well wishes (complying with your request) it most likely means that she is busy making people miserable on other fronts, and therefore doesn't need you as a target. It's not much more than that.

Do you already know and practice "grey rock"? It's a behavior pattern for you that makes you an extremely boring target, so you receive less abuse. It's refusing to perform the dance on your end. It results in basically, no real relationship, which is when some daughters of narcissistic mothers wonder, "Why am I continuing the facade of a relationship when there's no relationship there?" But some find it a good compromise instead of the Big Estrangement. The truth is, there really is never any real relationship with a PD.

OP here. Interesting. That could be the case. She does occasionally find others to target.

Yes, I learned about grey rock on DCUM and I use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gawd, the Cut Them Off! contingent is out in full force today.

OP, ignore these drama queens who don't want your best interest any more than your mom appears to want it on your birthday. Surely you can handle your problems in direct conversation with your mother.

I think most people are assuming that OP has already tried addressing this with her mother. The kind of mental illness OP is describing doesn't pop up overnight. Why would you assume she hasn't? You openly admit that her mother doesn't have her best interests. What kind of mother doesn't have her child's best interests, especially on her birthday? Doesn't that seem sick to you? Do you really think people with mentally ill family members need to be told to "try to have a direct conversation"?

Why would you assume OP HAS tried to address this with her mother? She's said nothing about that. An assumption hasn't tried is more credible than your assumption that she tried to work it out with mom--OP would have mentioned that.

You're clearly not qualified to give family advice to anybody. You certainly shouldn't be offering family-shattering advice to total strangers.

How about this: why don't you ask OP if she's tried talking directly to mom about it. Or you could suggest OP work with a therapist on the best approach.

And if OP tried but failed to work it out with mom, then the first step would be to ignore mom on her birthday. Instead of your default "cut off her head!" Truly, you're offering horrible, family-shattering advice here. I posted above about my own mom being mean on my birthdays, and I found the refusing to pick up the phone on my birthday and for a few days after that defused the situation very well.

First of all, take a breath and realize there are multiple people posting in this thread. You have no idea what I have posted.

Secondly, you accuse others of being dramatic. Look at your language. "Cut off her head"? Horrible, "family shattering" advice? Come on.

Thirdly, it's absolutely more reasonable to assume that somebody has tried the obvious when dealing with a family member with an illness, mental or otherwise. It's incredibly self centered and ableist to assume that no one but yourself would think to try the obvious solution first.

Fourth, OP is a grown woman, perfectly capable of evaluating all the feedback she is getting. She knows therapy exists. Yet she has chosen to post here. I have faith in her. Why don't you? Why are you so threatened?

What is cutting your mother off if not "family shattering"? Some of you are mentally ill.

I'm not threatened. I'm concerned that drama queens like you are trying to destroy families when working it out and negotiating are possible options.

You can't work things out with someone who will not acknowledge their behavior. You can't work things out with someone who can't admit fault. This is the unfortunate case with PDs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gawd, the Cut Them Off! contingent is out in full force today.

OP, ignore these drama queens who don't want your best interest any more than your mom appears to want it on your birthday. Surely you can handle your problems in direct conversation with your mother.

I think most people are assuming that OP has already tried addressing this with her mother. The kind of mental illness OP is describing doesn't pop up overnight. Why would you assume she hasn't? You openly admit that her mother doesn't have her best interests. What kind of mother doesn't have her child's best interests, especially on her birthday? Doesn't that seem sick to you? Do you really think people with mentally ill family members need to be told to "try to have a direct conversation"?

Why would you assume OP HAS tried to address this with her mother? She's said nothing about that. An assumption hasn't tried is more credible than your assumption that she tried to work it out with mom--OP would have mentioned that.

You're clearly not qualified to give family advice to anybody. You certainly shouldn't be offering family-shattering advice to total strangers.

How about this: why don't you ask OP if she's tried talking directly to mom about it. Or you could suggest OP work with a therapist on the best approach.

And if OP tried but failed to work it out with mom, then the first step would be to ignore mom on her birthday. Instead of your default "cut off her head!" Truly, you're offering horrible, family-shattering advice here. I posted above about my own mom being mean on my birthdays, and I found the refusing to pick up the phone on my birthday and for a few days after that defused the situation very well.

First of all, take a breath and realize there are multiple people posting in this thread. You have no idea what I have posted.

Secondly, you accuse others of being dramatic. Look at your language. "Cut off her head"? Horrible, "family shattering" advice? Come on.

Thirdly, it's absolutely more reasonable to assume that somebody has tried the obvious when dealing with a family member with an illness, mental or otherwise. It's incredibly self centered and ableist to assume that no one but yourself would think to try the obvious solution first.

Fourth, OP is a grown woman, perfectly capable of evaluating all the feedback she is getting. She knows therapy exists. Yet she has chosen to post here. I have faith in her. Why don't you? Why are you so threatened?

What is cutting your mother off if not "family shattering"? Some of you are mentally ill.

I'm not threatened. I'm concerned that drama queens like you are trying to destroy families when working it out and negotiating are possible options.

Just like cutting out a cancer can save the person, cutting out the mentally ill abuser can save the rest of the family.

And OP has already confirmed that she has tried talking to her mom. I don't know why you have so little faith in her.

DP. Genuinely curious: how many people have you cut out of your life? How many stable relationships do you have? Importantly, relationships where you don't get power by manipulating and threatening the people in your life?

Your posts about "crazy ladies" suggests you're part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gawd, the Cut Them Off! contingent is out in full force today.

OP, ignore these drama queens who don't want your best interest any more than your mom appears to want it on your birthday. Surely you can handle your problems in direct conversation with your mother.

I think most people are assuming that OP has already tried addressing this with her mother. The kind of mental illness OP is describing doesn't pop up overnight. Why would you assume she hasn't? You openly admit that her mother doesn't have her best interests. What kind of mother doesn't have her child's best interests, especially on her birthday? Doesn't that seem sick to you? Do you really think people with mentally ill family members need to be told to "try to have a direct conversation"?

Why would you assume OP HAS tried to address this with her mother? She's said nothing about that. An assumption hasn't tried is more credible than your assumption that she tried to work it out with mom--OP would have mentioned that.

You're clearly not qualified to give family advice to anybody. You certainly shouldn't be offering family-shattering advice to total strangers.

How about this: why don't you ask OP if she's tried talking directly to mom about it. Or you could suggest OP work with a therapist on the best approach.

And if OP tried but failed to work it out with mom, then the first step would be to ignore mom on her birthday. Instead of your default "cut off her head!" Truly, you're offering horrible, family-shattering advice here. I posted above about my own mom being mean on my birthdays, and I found the refusing to pick up the phone on my birthday and for a few days after that defused the situation very well.

First of all, take a breath and realize there are multiple people posting in this thread. You have no idea what I have posted.

Secondly, you accuse others of being dramatic. Look at your language. "Cut off her head"? Horrible, "family shattering" advice? Come on.

Thirdly, it's absolutely more reasonable to assume that somebody has tried the obvious when dealing with a family member with an illness, mental or otherwise. It's incredibly self centered and ableist to assume that no one but yourself would think to try the obvious solution first.

Fourth, OP is a grown woman, perfectly capable of evaluating all the feedback she is getting. She knows therapy exists. Yet she has chosen to post here. I have faith in her. Why don't you? Why are you so threatened?

What is cutting your mother off if not "family shattering"? Some of you are mentally ill.

I'm not threatened. I'm concerned that drama queens like you are trying to destroy families when working it out and negotiating are possible options.

Just like cutting out a cancer can save the person, cutting out the mentally ill abuser can save the rest of the family.

And OP has already confirmed that she has tried talking to her mom. I don't know why you have so little faith in her.

I don't care if anyone else cuts off their mom, but I did it, and it led to better health in my family overall, an unexpected boon. The idea that she was mentally ill had been hidden, and now it is out in the open, and it has been a relief for my siblings to have it acknowledged. The truth is healthy, and lies are toxic.

The repercussions of my action are that I can have all my energy for my DH and DC. My child won't witness her abusive behavior - ever. My DH doesn't have to deal with the emotional fallout of a visit.

I think every single person close to my situation is better off because of the difficult but necessary action I took.

[Anonymous]

My mom got very angry when she “didn’t hear from” my brother on HIS birthday. My brother is a 54, married father of 3. How did I know she was angry? She called me to say how disappointed she was and how she’d just never heard of a “child” not reaching out to his mother on his birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gawd, the Cut Them Off! contingent is out in full force today.

OP, ignore these drama queens who don't want your best interest any more than your mom appears to want it on your birthday. Surely you can handle your problems in direct conversation with your mother.

I think most people are assuming that OP has already tried addressing this with her mother. The kind of mental illness OP is describing doesn't pop up overnight. Why would you assume she hasn't? You openly admit that her mother doesn't have her best interests. What kind of mother doesn't have her child's best interests, especially on her birthday? Doesn't that seem sick to you? Do you really think people with mentally ill family members need to be told to "try to have a direct conversation"?

Why would you assume OP HAS tried to address this with her mother? She's said nothing about that. An assumption hasn't tried is more credible than your assumption that she tried to work it out with mom--OP would have mentioned that.

You're clearly not qualified to give family advice to anybody. You certainly shouldn't be offering family-shattering advice to total strangers.

How about this: why don't you ask OP if she's tried talking directly to mom about it. Or you could suggest OP work with a therapist on the best approach.

And if OP tried but failed to work it out with mom, then the first step would be to ignore mom on her birthday. Instead of your default "cut off her head!" Truly, you're offering horrible, family-shattering advice here. I posted above about my own mom being mean on my birthdays, and I found the refusing to pick up the phone on my birthday and for a few days after that defused the situation very well.

First of all, take a breath and realize there are multiple people posting in this thread. You have no idea what I have posted.

Secondly, you accuse others of being dramatic. Look at your language. "Cut off her head"? Horrible, "family shattering" advice? Come on.

Thirdly, it's absolutely more reasonable to assume that somebody has tried the obvious when dealing with a family member with an illness, mental or otherwise. It's incredibly self centered and ableist to assume that no one but yourself would think to try the obvious solution first.

Fourth, OP is a grown woman, perfectly capable of evaluating all the feedback she is getting. She knows therapy exists. Yet she has chosen to post here. I have faith in her. Why don't you? Why are you so threatened?

What is cutting your mother off if not "family shattering"? Some of you are mentally ill.

I'm not threatened. I'm concerned that drama queens like you are trying to destroy families when working it out and negotiating are possible options.

Just like cutting out a cancer can save the person, cutting out the mentally ill abuser can save the rest of the family.

And OP has already confirmed that she has tried talking to her mom. I don't know why you have so little faith in her.

DP. Genuinely curious: how many people have you cut out of your life? How many stable relationships do you have? Importantly, relationships where you don't get power by manipulating and threatening the people in your life?

Your posts about "crazy ladies" suggests you're part of the problem.

I am the poster who calls you Crazy Lady Poster, not the DP you just responded to. This is not a one-on-one convo!! I have cut out one person in my family. I have great relationships with everyone else. I do not manipulate or threaten. I respond to manipulation and threats and other toxic behavior by distancing myself.

I am calling you Crazy Lady Poster because you act crazy. I admit it's not nice, but you're also not nice, not helpful, and not making any good points. I will not respond to you again.

[Anonymous]

My mother has told me yearly as long as I remember that it would be lovely for a child to send their mother flowers on the child’s birthday as a thank you for giving birth to them. I am 38 and still have not sent those flowers

She really is quite mentally ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother has told me yearly as long as I remember that it would be lovely for a child to send their mother flowers on the child’s birthday as a thank you for giving birth to them. I am 38 and still have not sent those flowers

She really is quite mentally ill.

Funny not funny. I am sorry, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh gawd, the Cut Them Off! contingent is out in full force today.

OP, ignore these drama queens who don't want your best interest any more than your mom appears to want it on your birthday. Surely you can handle your problems in direct conversation with your mother.

I think most people are assuming that OP has already tried addressing this with her mother. The kind of mental illness OP is describing doesn't pop up overnight. Why would you assume she hasn't? You openly admit that her mother doesn't have her best interests. What kind of mother doesn't have her child's best interests, especially on her birthday? Doesn't that seem sick to you? Do you really think people with mentally ill family members need to be told to "try to have a direct conversation"?

Why would you assume OP HAS tried to address this with her mother? She's said nothing about that. An assumption hasn't tried is more credible than your assumption that she tried to work it out with mom--OP would have mentioned that.

You're clearly not qualified to give family advice to anybody. You certainly shouldn't be offering family-shattering advice to total strangers.

How about this: why don't you ask OP if she's tried talking directly to mom about it. Or you could suggest OP work with a therapist on the best approach.

And if OP tried but failed to work it out with mom, then the first step would be to ignore mom on her birthday. Instead of your default "cut off her head!" Truly, you're offering horrible, family-shattering advice here. I posted above about my own mom being mean on my birthdays, and I found the refusing to pick up the phone on my birthday and for a few days after that defused the situation very well.

First of all, take a breath and realize there are multiple people posting in this thread. You have no idea what I have posted.

Secondly, you accuse others of being dramatic. Look at your language. "Cut off her head"? Horrible, "family shattering" advice? Come on.

Thirdly, it's absolutely more reasonable to assume that somebody has tried the obvious when dealing with a family member with an illness, mental or otherwise. It's incredibly self centered and ableist to assume that no one but yourself would think to try the obvious solution first.

Fourth, OP is a grown woman, perfectly capable of evaluating all the feedback she is getting. She knows therapy exists. Yet she has chosen to post here. I have faith in her. Why don't you? Why are you so threatened?

What is cutting your mother off if not "family shattering"? Some of you are mentally ill.

I'm not threatened. I'm concerned that drama queens like you are trying to destroy families when working it out and negotiating are possible options.

Just like cutting out a cancer can save the person, cutting out the mentally ill abuser can save the rest of the family.

And OP has already confirmed that she has tried talking to her mom. I don't know why you have so little faith in her.

DP. Genuinely curious: how many people have you cut out of your life? How many stable relationships do you have? Importantly, relationships where you don't get power by manipulating and threatening the people in your life?

Your posts about "crazy ladies" suggests you're part of the problem.

Yeah, that wasn't me. I'm the bold text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom got very angry when she “didn’t hear from” my brother on HIS birthday. My brother is a 54, married father of 3. How did I know she was angry? She called me to say how disappointed she was and how she’d just never heard of a “child” not reaching out to his mother on his birthday.

Annual tradition in my family. But my mom won’t call. She’ll just passive aggressively text a few days later and say “I didn’t hear from you on your birthday so I couldn’t wish you happy birthday.” I get OP’s same rotation of nastygram birthday cards and emails on random years, too.

I am a twin from a time when they weren’t common and I’ve always wondered if my mom started as a narcissist or if the attention of having twins was what put her over the edge. She hated us getting older and still seeks out situations where she can be known as “the mom of The Twins.” We are in our 50s.

Happy birthday, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom got very angry when she “didn’t hear from” my brother on HIS birthday. My brother is a 54, married father of 3. How did I know she was angry? She called me to say how disappointed she was and how she’d just never heard of a “child” not reaching out to his mother on his birthday.

Annual tradition in my family. But my mom won’t call. She’ll just passive aggressively text a few days later and say “I didn’t hear from you on your birthday so I couldn’t wish you happy birthday.” I get OP’s same rotation of nastygram birthday cards and emails on random years, too.

I am a twin from a time when they weren’t common and I’ve always wondered if my mom started as a narcissist or if the attention of having twins was what put her over the edge. She hated us getting older and still seeks out situations where she can be known as “the mom of The Twins.” We are in our 50s.

Happy birthday, OP.

Best guess is: she always was, but for sure you twins were an excellent source of attention for her. All narcissists hate it when their kids get older. They don't want to lose little-kid adoration or their beloved role as mom of littles, and they hate that you get your own experiences and thoughts. Turning into pre-teen is a terrible time for kids of narc moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom got very angry when she “didn’t hear from” my brother on HIS birthday. My brother is a 54, married father of 3. How did I know she was angry? She called me to say how disappointed she was and how she’d just never heard of a “child” not reaching out to his mother on his birthday.

Annual tradition in my family. But my mom won’t call. She’ll just passive aggressively text a few days later and say “I didn’t hear from you on your birthday so I couldn’t wish you happy birthday.” I get OP’s same rotation of nastygram birthday cards and emails on random years, too.

I am a twin from a time when they weren’t common and I’ve always wondered if my mom started as a narcissist or if the attention of having twins was what put her over the edge. She hated us getting older and still seeks out situations where she can be known as “the mom of The Twins.” We are in our 50s.

Happy birthday, OP.

Was it helpful to have a twin in your situation? Vs. Having a non-twin sibling or being a single?