What's the problem with dating a separated person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married.

So? Both spouses have agreed to split up and date other people.

+2

My now husband and I met when we were both going through our respective divorces. I think that’s the only way it can work. No regrets.

That’s terrible advice. I hope you don’t tell your children that’s the way.

Here’s a thought: different things work for different people.

Shocking I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married.

So? Both spouses have agreed to split up and date other people.

+2

My now husband and I met when we were both going through our respective divorces. I think that’s the only way it can work. No regrets.

That’s terrible advice. I hope you don’t tell your children that’s the way.

Here’s a thought: different things work for different people.

Shocking I know.

Here’s a thought: some people have morals and some don’t who then give poor advice.
Shocking, I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married.

So? Both spouses have agreed to split up and date other people.

+2

My now husband and I met when we were both going through our respective divorces. I think that’s the only way it can work. No regrets.

That’s terrible advice. I hope you don’t tell your children that’s the way.

Here’s a thought: different things work for different people.

Shocking I know.

NP-I underestimated how much poor advice you give. You go right ahead and keep telling yourself that to try to twist it into being right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed. If they could wave a wand and be divorced they would be; they are only still married because of laws and courts that are outside their control. There’s probably more risk of reffing back together with ex, but that risk exists for people who were in long-term relationships that aren’t marriages. Good luck, OP, get it gurrll.

They are still married because they decided to marry and then did not initiate divorce proceedings sooner. A relationship where you wave a magic wand and it's over exists, it's just one where you aren't married and don't own property together. All divorces have baggage, even the amical "good" ones, it takes time to wind them up, getting serious with someone before you've even signed the paperwork is a red flag.

I don't think the main risk "he might reunite with his [soon to be] ex." It's that he is not actually single and still has to jump through a bunch of hoops before he is.

I have met people who still haven't worked through the emotional impact of their marriage/divorce 2-3 years later. If there are kids, longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married.

So? Both spouses have agreed to split up and date other people.

+2

My now husband and I met when we were both going through our respective divorces. I think that’s the only way it can work. No regrets.

That’s terrible advice. I hope you don’t tell your children that’s the way.

Here’s a thought: different things work for different people.

Shocking I know.

Here’s a thought: some people have morals and some don’t who then give poor advice.
Shocking, I know.

I cannot help but feed you.

If two people are done, irrevocably, and live separately, and do not communicate, what on earth is immoral about them finding other people to date?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wonderful husband and I met while we're both separating. However we met completely outside the dating realm in an online support group.

We were very careful to ask the hard questions about the wisdom of our decision to meet and etc. We formed a very deep friendship in the midst of the romance forming.

In our case it really was a case of destiny. We have real partners for the first time in our lives. I'm 53 he's 51. We took a chance and it's the best decision we ever made. And my daughter is growing up with a wonderful stepdad.

But in general: what we did would be ill advised!

At least you admit that it’s ill-advised and not passing this on as okay to do.

[Anonymous]

The issue is they’re married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married.

So? Both spouses have agreed to split up and date other people.

+2

My now husband and I met when we were both going through our respective divorces. I think that’s the only way it can work. No regrets.

That’s terrible advice. I hope you don’t tell your children that’s the way.

Here’s a thought: different things work for different people.

Shocking I know.

Here’s a thought: some people have morals and some don’t who then give poor advice.
Shocking, I know.

I cannot help but feed you.

If two people are done, irrevocably, and live separately, and do not communicate, what on earth is immoral about them finding other people to date?

You cannot be serious.
DP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's married.

So? Both spouses have agreed to split up and date other people.

+2

My now husband and I met when we were both going through our respective divorces. I think that’s the only way it can work. No regrets.

That’s terrible advice. I hope you don’t tell your children that’s the way.

Here’s a thought: different things work for different people.

Shocking I know.

Here’s a thought: some people have morals and some don’t who then give poor advice.
Shocking, I know.

I cannot help but feed you.

If two people are done, irrevocably, and live separately, and do not communicate, what on earth is immoral about them finding other people to date?

They aren’t done, they’re married. Did you miss that part?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is they’re married.

Whoever keeps posting like this has the moral sophistication of a kindergartener. OP surely understands that he's married. If she considered that a reason not to date him, surely she wouldn't need to have solicited thoughts on this board. Many people understand that morality isn't governed by legal formalisms such as whether you are still officially married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is they’re married.

Whoever keeps posting like this has the moral sophistication of a kindergartener. OP surely understands that he's married. If she considered that a reason not to date him, surely she wouldn't need to have solicited thoughts on this board. Many people understand that morality isn't governed by legal formalisms such as whether you are still officially married.

Uh, yes, officially marriage and dating is in fact a morality issue. Sorry your moral point south. Can’t help you with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is they’re married.

Whoever keeps posting like this has the moral sophistication of a kindergartener. OP surely understands that he's married. If she considered that a reason not to date him, surely she wouldn't need to have solicited thoughts on this board. Many people understand that morality isn't governed by legal formalisms such as whether you are still officially married.

Found the defensive cheater.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is they’re married.

Whoever keeps posting like this has the moral sophistication of a kindergartener. OP surely understands that he's married. If she considered that a reason not to date him, surely she wouldn't need to have solicited thoughts on this board. Many people understand that morality isn't governed by legal formalisms such as whether you are still officially married.

Found the defensive cheater.

Please, it’s not cheating to date when separated. There are other reasons OP should be cautious entering the relationship and not rush in but separated is separated, OPs boyfriend is not a cheater for dating her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is they’re married.

Whoever keeps posting like this has the moral sophistication of a kindergartener. OP surely understands that he's married. If she considered that a reason not to date him, surely she wouldn't need to have solicited thoughts on this board. Many people understand that morality isn't governed by legal formalisms such as whether you are still officially married.

Uh, yes, officially marriage and dating is in fact a morality issue. Sorry your moral point south. Can’t help you with that.

No moral issue. Marriage is only a piece of paper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is they’re married.

Whoever keeps posting like this has the moral sophistication of a kindergartener. OP surely understands that he's married. If she considered that a reason not to date him, surely she wouldn't need to have solicited thoughts on this board. Many people understand that morality isn't governed by legal formalisms such as whether you are still officially married.

Uh, yes, officially marriage and dating is in fact a morality issue. Sorry your moral point south. Can’t help you with that.

No moral issue. Marriage is only a piece of paper.

+1

It’s incredible how simple and stubborn some people are.