Mean girls

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This calling out of individual schools is ridiculous. There are mean girls everywhere.

And mean boys too! Know of many boys that have left school because of mean boys!

All true. Because - no surprise - the parents are mean and pathetic. Welcome to the dmv.

[Anonymous]

Choose a small school, with limited choices for friends, at your own peril.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my. You mean private school kids are not more refined wrt bullying?

The OP actually asked if in other's experience the mean girls started so young. Not if there were mean girls.

Acc to DCUM, privates are magical places full of extraordinary children so the idea there are any mean kids is just so surprising and disappointing.

[Anonymous]

I've seen some mean boy situations and some mean girl situations at several schools, but in DC private schools (I'm familiar with several) the mean girl problem is more common and more severe, although schools and class years will vary. The girls tend to be very emotionally attuned and verbal at younger ages.

[Anonymous]

I thought Sidwell was filled with mean girls, but they tended to be pretty subtle about it. They usually had plausible deniability.

[Anonymous]

Burke seems warmer and nicer than most other schools. Less mean girl stuff. But its culture isn't for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Barnesville had mean girls and boys and the parents were enabled like crazy. The school did nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:this question is SO class-dependent and kid-mix dependent, not school dependent

It matters a great deal what the school does or does not do to address it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DMV idea of bullying is so mild compared to what I saw at a good Southern private. One kid was avoided for years from 5th grade on—no one would go to his house, parties, nothing. It was awful. I forced my kid to go to his events but not a single person in the school, or other parents, cared. It was totally ignored.

That’s bullying.

Agree totally...There is s lot of privilege here and very little grit. When you have a family that has to relocate because their daughter has been bullied and labeled a "garden tool" that's real mean girl behavior. Teach self defense verbally and physically and they'll be a lot better off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’re relatively new to our school (LS, moving into middle) and apparently I was blissfully unaware that there is and has been a known group of mean girls. Like dark stuff said at school and over text. To the point where kids have left. Has anyone had this experience with a group of mean girls already being formed before middle school? I don’t know quite how to bring it up with other parents since we are relatively new.

Holton? Stone Ridge? I'm interested to know which school it is so that we can avoid applying next year.

This is every school. You can't avoid it, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would you not expect this at a small private school?

OP here. I didn’t say I wouldn’t expect this at a small private school. I asked if it’s usual to have it in LS already, even before middle school.

Mean Girl behavior can start as early as 3rd/4th grade, so yes, it's usual. In EVERY school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re relatively new to our school (LS, moving into middle) and apparently I was blissfully unaware that there is and has been a known group of mean girls. Like dark stuff said at school and over text. To the point where kids have left. Has anyone had this experience with a group of mean girls already being formed before middle school? I don’t know quite how to bring it up with other parents since we are relatively new.

This is at one of our kids’ coed DC school. Year after year there are complaints and the school never separates the clique in the one-class model or even now that there is the middle school model.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to a small independent a Jesuit prep school that was regarded as the best school in the state. It had an incredibly kind culture and people who were mean were subjected to peer pressure to be more inclusive rather than the other way around. While mean people are everywhere, mean cultures are not inevitable, and school cultures can be dramatically different.

The culture in the DMV is one of the meanest I’ve ever encountered, and I say that as someone who grew up in another part of the country but went to grad school in DC and lived in many other places (the Bay Area, Texas, the rural mid-west, Chicago, Seattle, Boston, London, the northeast, and the Deep South) before moving back here. People here are meaner than their counterparts in other parts of of the country. They are more insecure, socially-competitive/social-climbing, and discontented than anywhere else we’ve lived. People here here have zero chill and the culture seems to foment unhappiness and outrage. It’s not surprising that toxic adults are raising mean middle-schoolers. That said, it would be nice to hear about the schools that do a better than average job of keeping the toxicity at a minimum, for boys and for girls. Some schools are surely doing better than others.

Also, serious question for parents who have experience with both: is there less meanness in the area public middle schools? Is it easier to avoid meanness there?

+1000

So true in our private, mean moms create mean girls and form groups leaving out the rest. I am not sure what it is about this city and the parents

+1 on both of the above commenters. People just aren’t comfortable or nice in their skin and just ridicule right out of the gate— even in field day, one mean mom was talking about “how weird that kid ABC runs.” Wtf.

And the mean comments out of 7,8,9 yo kids mouths, you know theire regurgitating what they heard their petty mother saying to them or someone else. Beyond shallow.

What’s bad is that a few of these per grade or class is a big % of these small 40,60,90,120 grade private schools. Some classrooms or entire grades become toxic. Permanently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop using "mean girls." No girl is one thing, and it just perpetuates misogynistic stereotypes. [/quote

please; are we not supposed to use the word bossy either?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stop using "mean girls." No girl is one thing, and it just perpetuates misogynistic stereotypes.

Oh sweet mother. Take whatever it is you take pill wise in the afternoon.

So, you answer my post with a slam against people who take medications. A crazy lady -- another misogynistic trope. My comment stands.