Missing Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m concerned that op has not given the nanny more than 4 consecutive days off in greater than 2 years. Whether the nanny wanted to use her vacation that way or not is irrelevant.

NP. No. How the nanny wants to use her own vacation is the only thing that is relevant. If she wanted to spread it out to have lots of long weekend breaks instead of one long week where she couldn't go anywhere anyway, that's her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m concerned that op has not given the nanny more than 4 consecutive days off in greater than 2 years. Whether the nanny wanted to use her vacation that way or not is irrelevant.

NP. No. How the nanny wants to use her own vacation is the only thing that is relevant. If she wanted to spread it out to have lots of long weekend breaks instead of one long week where she couldn't go anywhere anyway, that's her choice.

DP-absolutely not. No one should work a number of years and not have more than four consecutive days off. Her choice or not. My company made every employee take time off with pay after the first year of covid. If the op had any integrity, she would do something similar and insist that the nanny have more than a mere four days off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m concerned that op has not given the nanny more than 4 consecutive days off in greater than 2 years. Whether the nanny wanted to use her vacation that way or not is irrelevant.

NP. No. How the nanny wants to use her own vacation is the only thing that is relevant. If she wanted to spread it out to have lots of long weekend breaks instead of one long week where she couldn't go anywhere anyway, that's her choice.

No one has to go anywhere to take a week off. You think people aren’t entitled to time off if they couldn’t go anywhere?

[Anonymous]

Leave the nanny alone, Lord know she needs a break.

[Anonymous]

OP - My kids have been in daycare since they were 4 months old. They talk about their teachers and friends when we are on vacation, but they are just fine. The missing is more anticipation- once we’re on vacation with new things to see and do, they totally forget and live in the moment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - My kids have been in daycare since they were 4 months old. They talk about their teachers and friends when we are on vacation, but they are just fine. The missing is more anticipation- once we’re on vacation with new things to see and do, they totally forget and live in the moment.

We all know this. The OP is the one who is having the problem, though presenting it as if it’s the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In two years your kids won't even remember that nanny. Don't do facetime. Let her have vacation.

They’re gone for two weeks!

And? What’s your point? Kids can be away from their nanny for two weeks. Goodness.

Obviously! OP is asking is FaceTime and calls help when/if they miss her or not.

Goodness. Are you always this dense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sure these people who have commented so far don't have nannies and so don't understand the relationship a kid has with them. I do think your kid will be fine though and probably will stop talking about it once you're actually on vacation. I would say not to call or FaceTime unless the kid really having a heart attack, but I would try to distract them with other things (or just say that the nanny can't talk right now but she texted me earlier to say that she hopes you're having fun and she can't wait to see you in 2 weeks!)

Had you posted earlier, I would have told you not to focus on the kid and nanny being separated when you talked about your vacation - kid didn't need to think about that and it probably would have been better to just rip the bandaid off in that respect.

Have a nanny and know that it’s not appropriate and that the op is complicit in this anxiety in the child. As you admitted to. Apart from that, one does not need to have a nanny to know this is not acceptable.

We had a nanny and I agree with this post. Also, with all the nanny time in the past two years, OP will find that her child-rearing skills are rusty (never developed). She should focus on this, not FaceTiming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In two years your kids won't even remember that nanny. Don't do facetime. Let her have vacation.

They’re gone for two weeks!

And? What’s your point? Kids can be away from their nanny for two weeks. Goodness.

Obviously! OP is asking is FaceTime and calls help when/if they miss her or not.

Goodness. Are you always this dense?

Leave the nanny alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm sure these people who have commented so far don't have nannies and so don't understand the relationship a kid has with them. I do think your kid will be fine though and probably will stop talking about it once you're actually on vacation. I would say not to call or FaceTime unless the kid really having a heart attack, but I would try to distract them with other things (or just say that the nanny can't talk right now but she texted me earlier to say that she hopes you're having fun and she can't wait to see you in 2 weeks!)

Had you posted earlier, I would have told you not to focus on the kid and nanny being separated when you talked about your vacation - kid didn't need to think about that and it probably would have been better to just rip the bandaid off in that respect.

Have a nanny and know that it’s not appropriate and that the op is complicit in this anxiety in the child. As you admitted to. Apart from that, one does not need to have a nanny to know this is not acceptable.

We had a nanny and I agree with this post. Also, with all the nanny time in the past two years, OP will find that her child-rearing skills are rusty (never developed). She should focus on this, not FaceTiming.

+1

[Anonymous]

No contacting the nanny. Instead, journal through picture drawing and buy nanny a small gift. This is not difficult. If your child says something while away, remind him that nanny is on vacation too and change the subject.

[Anonymous]

Whether you have a nanny, are a nanny, had a nanny when you were a child, or whatever, what is obvious to me is that often the relationship a child has with their nanny is almost the same as the parent-child relationship and in many cases is more attached than the relationship the child has with the parents.

You may not want to encourage that because it doesn't make you comfortable to acknowledge it, you may in fact want to discourage it to make yourself feel better. However, it's still often a fact, for the child at least.

So, if the child's parent was going to be gone for two weeks would you allow and encourage communication between the child and the absent parent? I think you would. So since you have chosen to have this dynamic for your child maybe you ought to be more sympathetic to what the child is feeling, that you have allowed and created.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of Covid, we have traveled at all and our nanny chose to use her vacation time in three and four day weekends rather than consecutive three weeks. Now we are taking our first vacation to see family and our 3.5 year old gets tears in his eyes when he talks about nanny not coming with us. Our two year old has never been away from nanny for more than four days in her entire life.

I know the kids will have fun and are always happy to be with DH and I on weekends but this is two weeks.

Does FaceTime make it better or worse? Call? 3.5 yr old has already started talking about bringing nanny souvenirs!

I would never intrude on an employee's down time and if I were the employee I would not take your call! Apparently, your 3.5 has a better time with his nanny than with his mommy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I clicked on this thread because I thought the nanny had gone missing. This is much less exciting.

Help your kid write postcards to the nanny. It will be fine.

Hahaha same!!

[Anonymous]

They also miss you while you are working. We don't contact you to facetime with them. We engage and distract them.