How do you SAH but not get lumped in with the nanny and daycare-hating crazies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

No, PP. She clearly stated the nanny and daycare-hating crazies. That’s all. The rest is necessary DCUM information so as not to be attacked with “living off your husband” and “not knowing what you’re doing”.

The SAHMs attacking OP show why OP is right to worry a little.

I agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

As someone who has both stayed home and worked, I don’t see any harm in acknowledging that some DCUM SAHMs are crazy. They are. It is obvious from their unhinged posts. There are also crazy WOHMs. Let’s be honest, please. Pretending there aren’t some absolutely insane SAHMs posting is just plain silly. And of course there are also insane WOHMs, but OP isn’t one, so I’m ignoring them for now.

It does OP no good to pretend that this is not reality here. You are gaslighting her, not actually helping OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

Well...NP here and I don't think I'm "nuts" but I got the same vibe as PP from OP's post. And on the subject of hair-trigger defensiveness, take a breath. No one's a drama queen for having a different take.

To OP; your degree and trust fund give you security that many other SAHM's have. You have options and money if it all goes south. So maybe consider why others' opinions (and those on DCUM no less) matter to you. Sounds like you're making the choices you want to make; that's excellent. But you can't also be liked or respected by everyone; that's just life.

Jesus, where are you getting this nonsense?! That is not at all what she’s saying!!

[Anonymous]

Anyone who denies the existence of nanny-hating and daycare-hating SAHMs on DCUM must be brand new to the site or have serious reading comprehension issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

As someone who has both stayed home and worked, I don’t see any harm in acknowledging that some DCUM SAHMs are crazy. They are. It is obvious from their unhinged posts. There are also crazy WOHMs. Let’s be honest, please. Pretending there aren’t some absolutely insane SAHMs posting is just plain silly. And of course there are also insane WOHMs, but OP isn’t one, so I’m ignoring them for now.

It does OP no good to pretend that this is not reality here. You are gaslighting her, not actually helping OP.

The crazies on both sides are a minority. If OP looked around in real life (and in most posts on dcum), she would realize most SAHM’s are not crazy. And if she knew that, she wouldn’t worry so much about being “lumped in.” But it doesn’t sound like she’s actually looking around. It sounds like she’s very focused on being liked by the WOHM’s of dcum.

[Anonymous]

So, OP, seems you haven’t been clear on which group you would like to avoid being part of or perceived to be part of by some other group (?). Can you clarify?

As a parent who has been SAH/WFH/WOH, my advice is to stop assuming all SAHs/WFHs/WOHs are all the same and stop caring what others think of you just because you are one of the above.

[Anonymous]

The VAST MAJORITY of SAHMs are not crazy. In fact, most of the SAHMs I know are professionals who decided they didn't want or have to work after they had kids. Some of them have gone back to school or work after their kids start ES. I don't know anyone who [openly anyway] looks down on me for working and sending my kids to daycare/aftercare. People on DCUM are nuts. People in real life are not nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

As someone who has both stayed home and worked, I don’t see any harm in acknowledging that some DCUM SAHMs are crazy. They are. It is obvious from their unhinged posts. There are also crazy WOHMs. Let’s be honest, please. Pretending there aren’t some absolutely insane SAHMs posting is just plain silly. And of course there are also insane WOHMs, but OP isn’t one, so I’m ignoring them for now.

It does OP no good to pretend that this is not reality here. You are gaslighting her, not actually helping OP.

The crazies on both sides are a minority. If OP looked around in real life (and in most posts on dcum), she would realize most SAHM’s are not crazy. And if she knew that, she wouldn’t worry so much about being “lumped in.” But it doesn’t sound like she’s actually looking around. It sounds like she’s very focused on being liked by the WOHM’s of dcum.

Okay, dear, let’s read the title of the thread again slowly… “… how do you not get lumped in with the nanny and daycare hating crazies”. Clearly she is not talking about herself or all SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, seems you haven’t been clear on which group you would like to avoid being part of or perceived to be part of by some other group (?). Can you clarify?

As a parent who has been SAH/WFH/WOH, my advice is to stop assuming all SAHs/WFHs/WOHs are all the same and stop caring what others think of you just because you are one of the above.

Did you even read her title?

What is with all the SAHMs who can’t read in this thread?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

As someone who has both stayed home and worked, I don’t see any harm in acknowledging that some DCUM SAHMs are crazy. They are. It is obvious from their unhinged posts. There are also crazy WOHMs. Let’s be honest, please. Pretending there aren’t some absolutely insane SAHMs posting is just plain silly. And of course there are also insane WOHMs, but OP isn’t one, so I’m ignoring them for now.

It does OP no good to pretend that this is not reality here. You are gaslighting her, not actually helping OP.

The crazies on both sides are a minority. If OP looked around in real life (and in most posts on dcum), she would realize most SAHM’s are not crazy. And if she knew that, she wouldn’t worry so much about being “lumped in.” But it doesn’t sound like she’s actually looking around. It sounds like she’s very focused on being liked by the WOHM’s of dcum.

Idk, I think the SAHMs of this thread are providing a very clear object lesson on why OP is right to worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

As someone who has both stayed home and worked, I don’t see any harm in acknowledging that some DCUM SAHMs are crazy. They are. It is obvious from their unhinged posts. There are also crazy WOHMs. Let’s be honest, please. Pretending there aren’t some absolutely insane SAHMs posting is just plain silly. And of course there are also insane WOHMs, but OP isn’t one, so I’m ignoring them for now.

It does OP no good to pretend that this is not reality here. You are gaslighting her, not actually helping OP.

The crazies on both sides are a minority. If OP looked around in real life (and in most posts on dcum), she would realize most SAHM’s are not crazy. And if she knew that, she wouldn’t worry so much about being “lumped in.” But it doesn’t sound like she’s actually looking around. It sounds like she’s very focused on being liked by the WOHM’s of dcum.

Okay, dear, let’s read the title of the thread again slowly… “… how do you not get lumped in with the nanny and daycare hating crazies”. Clearly she is not talking about herself or all SAHMs.

Yea, but why does she care about this at all? Why do you and OP thinks it’s a rational thing to do for a member of a group to go around proving to those outside that group that they are not like the other members of the group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, seems you haven’t been clear on which group you would like to avoid being part of or perceived to be part of by some other group (?). Can you clarify?

As a parent who has been SAH/WFH/WOH, my advice is to stop assuming all SAHs/WFHs/WOHs are all the same and stop caring what others think of you just because you are one of the above.

OP here. Let me be clearer: I do not want anyone to think I am a nanny-hating or daycare-hating SAHM because I SAH. I also do not want to get lectured by WOHMs about not thinking of my future or depending on my husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

As someone who has both stayed home and worked, I don’t see any harm in acknowledging that some DCUM SAHMs are crazy. They are. It is obvious from their unhinged posts. There are also crazy WOHMs. Let’s be honest, please. Pretending there aren’t some absolutely insane SAHMs posting is just plain silly. And of course there are also insane WOHMs, but OP isn’t one, so I’m ignoring them for now.

It does OP no good to pretend that this is not reality here. You are gaslighting her, not actually helping OP.

The crazies on both sides are a minority. If OP looked around in real life (and in most posts on dcum), she would realize most SAHM’s are not crazy. And if she knew that, she wouldn’t worry so much about being “lumped in.” But it doesn’t sound like she’s actually looking around. It sounds like she’s very focused on being liked by the WOHM’s of dcum.

Idk, I think the SAHMs of this thread are providing a very clear object lesson on why OP is right to worry.

What exactly is YOUR suggestion for helping OP to not feel judged?

[Anonymous]

Stop thinking about what other people think of you as much as you can, OP. It is very freeing. I was a SAHM in NOVA for years, and you need a thick skin to do that there. Know your quiet purpose, which is to raise good humans. Your kid attaches to the nanny because the nanny is someone new who brings a different energy. Translation: exciting. That's all. You are still center of your kid's world, full stop. You are Mom. Never forget that. Have a little confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, OP, seems you haven’t been clear on which group you would like to avoid being part of or perceived to be part of by some other group (?). Can you clarify?

As a parent who has been SAH/WFH/WOH, my advice is to stop assuming all SAHs/WFHs/WOHs are all the same and stop caring what others think of you just because you are one of the above.

OP here. Let me be clearer: I do not want anyone to think I am a nanny-hating or daycare-hating SAHM because I SAH. I also do not want to get lectured by WOHMs about not thinking of my future or depending on my husband.

Girl you need to log off.

I’m a SAHM and none of that has happened to me irl. Online is not real life, especially DCUM.

But, to make a constructive suggestion, wear a t-shirt that says “How do you SAH but not get lumped in with the crazies OP.”