How do you SAH but not get lumped in with the nanny and daycare-hating crazies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

[Anonymous]

Yeah I got the “I’m not like the other girls” misogyny from OP too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

[Anonymous]

Find other SAHMs who stay at home for the same reasons (i.e. not because they dislike daycare/nannies). I stayed at home for a year with my then infant and I use the hell out of daycare and babysitters now. It was just what made sense at that time and under those circumstances (think, military spouse). I made friends with a lot of moms in the same boat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

No, PP. She clearly stated the nanny and daycare-hating crazies. That’s all. The rest is necessary DCUM information so as not to be attacked with “living off your husband” and “not knowing what you’re doing”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

Well...NP here and I don't think I'm "nuts" but I got the same vibe as PP from OP's post. And on the subject of hair-trigger defensiveness, take a breath. No one's a drama queen for having a different take.

To OP; your degree and trust fund give you security that many other SAHM's have. You have options and money if it all goes south. So maybe consider why others' opinions (and those on DCUM no less) matter to you. Sounds like you're making the choices you want to make; that's excellent. But you can't also be liked or respected by everyone; that's just life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

No, PP. She clearly stated the nanny and daycare-hating crazies. That’s all. The rest is necessary DCUM information so as not to be attacked with “living off your husband” and “not knowing what you’re doing”.

The SAHMs attacking OP show why OP is right to worry a little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dcum is a silly bubble. I am in another small social network for an exercise thing I do, and the positivity there toward SAHM is stunning compared to dcum. In my real life, I know a ton of SAHM plus women who wish they could stay home but are just working bc their job has the health insurance. Nationwide polls show a minority of moms prefer working full time.

Like other PP have said, you yourself sound like you dislike other SAHM’s…. Like, YOU have a good reason to stay home but everyone else is “crazy”?

I stayed home and I think this take is ridiculously defensive. I get so tired of the absurd hair-trigger defensiveness of DCUM SAHMs and I was a SAHM for years. There is literally nowhere in her post where she said anything close to “everyone else is crazy,” and nothing that suggests she dislikes other SAHMs.

Ridiculous? I read it as “I have a degree in EC and a trust fund. Anyone who doesn’t is ‘one of the crazies.’ I don’t like the other SAHM. I prefer hanging out with a nanny instead of other SAHM.”

So thanks for being an object lesson in absurd hair-trigger defensiveness, I guess? Your take is ridiculous. What a drama queen you are.

Her post is literally about how she feels bad about herself due to dcum and wants everyone to know she is not like all the other SAHM who post here.

You literally cannot read.

How else would you interpret “I don’t want to be lumped in with the crazies”? Most SAHM don’t have a trust fund or a degree in early childhood education. There’s “crazy” on both sides of the dcum “mommy wars.” I’m not sure why OP thinks the only crazies are the SAHM’s.

I’m not sure how you get through your days so willing to take offense at absolutely nothing, but I guess you are one of the SAHMs OP apparently has good reason to worry about being lumped in with. OP is obviously not saying all SAHMs are crazy — that is your hyper defensive imagination at work, but has little to do with what OP wrote. She is clearly talking about a small group of angry and unhinged DCUM posters that all rational DCUM readers know exist. And she also didn’t say anything about only SAHMs being crazy — that’s entirely your projection. OP is a SAHM so why, in the context of her post, would she even talk about any other group of crazy people? There is no need for the purpose of her post.

It’s like you want to demonstrate why OP is right to be worried or something. You sound literally nuts.

I’m not offended. I’m trying to help OP with her feelings of feeling judged. I think part of her problem is she has internalized some of these judgments about SAHM’s that she hears on dcum. I think it would help her to not look at any other moms as “crazy.” I think she feels judged because she thinks there is truth to the judgments she hears about SAHM’s. She believes there is a group of “crazy” SAHM’s and she wants working moms to know she’s not one of the “crazy” ones. How about start by questioning this idea of the “crazy” SAHM?

And for every “unhinged” SAHM, there is another “unhinged WOHM” who posts about how SAHM’s are going to end up broke after the divorce, are dependent on their husbands, and should leave the child raising to qualified professionals. I think OP is taking THOSE posts to heart unnecessarily. That’s why she needs to state very clearly she has a trust fund and a degree in early childhood education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah I got the “I’m not like the other girls” misogyny from OP too.

She sure as hell does not want to be like you! Who does?!