Controlling mother + DH ongoing conflicts

[Anonymous]

You're husband sounds like a controlling psycho.....

[Anonymous]

I assume that this is fake but if not, OP, you and your husband are both completely nuts. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom passed away a few years ago. Seeing how the DH spoke to the mom made me especially sad. If my mom was still around I know my DH would be kind to her, even though she could be a lot!

OP, you deserve better.

OP here. It does make me very sad. I wish DH could accept my mom's apology and be a little nicer and forgiving. He says maybe I should find someone else who is willing to put up with being controlled by my parents. I feel like it is possible to set boundaries, accept apologies when they are broken, and be kind.

You should find someone else. On this, I actually agree with your DH. So toxic!

[Anonymous]

Wow, just wow. I can't believe you have this many texts about washing the dishes.

My MIL and my BIL were both the types that would kind of take control at my house when it came to washing the dishes.

Sadly both my MIL and BIL have passed away. I miss them both. My BIL passed away at a young age. I would give anything to have them both overstep and take control washing the dishes.

I can't believe ya'll have had this many texts about something so minor in life that is no big deal in the long run.

Your husband sounds extremely controlling. No way should he be screening your texts.

Simply have your husband step into another room if your MIL wants to wash the dishes.

I'd be concerned about how your husband would react to something serious in life if he gets upset at something this minor like washing dishes.

I was in a marriage like this. My circle got smaller and smaller and smaller year after year after year because my husband kind of crushed out my spirit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just got halfway through your post and had to stop reading. Your DH is controlling and way out of line. I’ll take a break and continue reading but it was too much...I was cringing. Your DH is a pill.

Just to add- I got to the part where you sent an email, your mom apologized (very graciously) and it wasn’t good enough for your DH, so you sent another, more strongly-worded email (over-the-top, unkind and unnecessary). Didn’t want to continue reading because your DH is very controlling and you don’t seem to be seeing things clearly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're husband sounds like a controlling psycho.....

Pages of this response but OP somehow believes he is being remotely reasonable? Seriously hoping this is fake but, if not, OP needs to run for the hills

[Anonymous]

The husband is extremely insecure. But why? This is what he needs to do therapy on.

[Anonymous]

If I was your mother it would be a long time before I'd go to your house.

Your Mom sent a nice apology.

Your husband's last text was nasty and mean spirited.

Re-read the last several texts.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Any advice on what to do in this particular situation to make things better? Our marriage counselor does family therapy. Is that something people recommend I include my parents join us for?

[Anonymous]

I get being annoyed and feeling like your toes are being stepped on in this scenario. But, guess what, this is not a big deal and you put your big kid pants on and get over it. In my opinion, even the first txt shouldn’t have been sent. What she did is not an example of controlling behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Any advice on what to do in this particular situation to make things better? Our marriage counselor does family therapy. Is that something people recommend I include my parents join us for?

He's not going to get better, OP. You need to divorce, especially if there are no children involved. Save your sanity and don't waste your best years on a loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Any advice on what to do in this particular situation to make things better? Our marriage counselor does family therapy. Is that something people recommend I include my parents join us for?

No. This is a him issue. If he refuses individual therapy I would do couples therapy and hopefully the clinician can give him a reality check.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Any advice on what to do in this particular situation to make things better? Our marriage counselor does family therapy. Is that something people recommend I include my parents join us for?

I think you need individual therapy to gain perspective on your husband's insane behavior. Your mom seems reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom passed away a few years ago. Seeing how the DH spoke to the mom made me especially sad. If my mom was still around I know my DH would be kind to her, even though she could be a lot!

OP, you deserve better.

OP here. It does make me very sad. I wish DH could accept my mom's apology and be a little nicer and forgiving. He says maybe I should find someone else who is willing to put up with being controlled by my parents. I feel like it is possible to set boundaries, accept apologies when they are broken, and be kind.

OP, is your DH kind of mean in other situations? What about the dynamics between just the two of you?

I’m thinking of you…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Any advice on what to do in this particular situation to make things better? Our marriage counselor does family therapy. Is that something people recommend I include my parents join us for?

Watch Sleeping With The Enemy and see if you see the parallels. Run, woman.