The problem with dating in my 30s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think many PP's are losing the point.

It's not that OP is not meeting eligible men, it's that when she meets the eligible men, she assumes that they are too good to be true and gets paranoid. Basically what you are saying is that her cynicism and instincts are correct, that if she does meet an attractive and eligible man, that her suspicions that are correct that there is something wrong with him.

Yes. Her suspicions are correct. She should be listening to that gut instead of running away from it.

[Anonymous]

Why is the DC dating market so bad compared to other cities?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is the DC dating market so bad compared to other cities?

I'm the poster from DC: it's a numbers game. There are way more eligible women than men. Men get older and the pool only gets larger for them, the reverse happens for women.

[Anonymous]

I’m honestly shocked at this thread. I’m Arab living in DC and admittedly have limited insight into other cultures (including the dominant white people culture). I never would have thought that white men also have an issue with women in their thirties, I thought that was something cultures like ours have to deal with. Why is this the case? When I was husband hunting (I say it as it is!) I frequently wished I was a white girl, not because of looks (I’m attractive and attracted men of races other than mine but that wasn’t an option) but because I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to. I ended up making a rational decision by marrying someone who, while I wasn’t head over heels over and isn’t as successful as I was shooting for, has a good job, comes from upper class family (important in our culture) and is a good person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all guys like thin. I don’t want fat, but I have zero attraction to thin woman. My point is checking off your boxes of what you assume man wants isn’t going to get you anywhere.

You need to focus on what you want not what you have going for you. Let him decide if what you have going for you checks his boxes.

+100% You’re how old? Most men your age want late 20’s or earlier 30’s. If you’re in the DC area financial stability is a dime a dozen. You should lower your expectations of you ever want to get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly shocked at this thread. I’m Arab living in DC and admittedly have limited insight into other cultures (including the dominant white people culture). I never would have thought that white men also have an issue with women in their thirties, I thought that was something cultures like ours have to deal with. Why is this the case? When I was husband hunting (I say it as it is!) I frequently wished I was a white girl, not because of looks (I’m attractive and attracted men of races other than mine but that wasn’t an option) but because I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to. I ended up making a rational decision by marrying someone who, while I wasn’t head over heels over and isn’t as successful as I was shooting for, has a good job, comes from upper class family (important in our culture) and is a good person.

It's a cross cultural thing because it's a biological thing. Men want young(er) women. Why would a man in his late 30s marry a woman in her late 30s when he could marry someone in her late 20s?

[Anonymous]

I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to.

They do have access to a large pool. They are holding out for statistical anomalies however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's a tip a girlfriend gave me: when speaking with an eligible man, cross your eyes every now and then. Not too much but a few times... maybe every couple of minutes or so. It really helps with creating a spark. Good luck, all!

I find girls who cross their eyes adorable. Seriously, who knew that was a thing!

Eligible man around her age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly shocked at this thread. I’m Arab living in DC and admittedly have limited insight into other cultures (including the dominant white people culture). I never would have thought that white men also have an issue with women in their thirties, I thought that was something cultures like ours have to deal with. Why is this the case? When I was husband hunting (I say it as it is!) I frequently wished I was a white girl, not because of looks (I’m attractive and attracted men of races other than mine but that wasn’t an option) but because I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to. I ended up making a rational decision by marrying someone who, while I wasn’t head over heels over and isn’t as successful as I was shooting for, has a good job, comes from upper class family (important in our culture) and is a good person.

It's a cross cultural thing because it's a biological thing. Men want young(er) women. Why would a man in his late 30s marry a woman in her late 30s when he could marry someone in her late 20s?

No sane older man who has option between 30s vs 20s women would choose the former.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly shocked at this thread. I’m Arab living in DC and admittedly have limited insight into other cultures (including the dominant white people culture). I never would have thought that white men also have an issue with women in their thirties, I thought that was something cultures like ours have to deal with. Why is this the case? When I was husband hunting (I say it as it is!) I frequently wished I was a white girl, not because of looks (I’m attractive and attracted men of races other than mine but that wasn’t an option) but because I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to. I ended up making a rational decision by marrying someone who, while I wasn’t head over heels over and isn’t as successful as I was shooting for, has a good job, comes from upper class family (important in our culture) and is a good person.

It's a cross cultural thing because it's a biological thing. Men want young(er) women. Why would a man in his late 30s marry a woman in her late 30s when he could marry someone in her late 20s?

No sane older man who has option between 30s vs 20s women would choose the former.

So, what’s the best course of action for a mid-30s woman seeking marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly shocked at this thread. I’m Arab living in DC and admittedly have limited insight into other cultures (including the dominant white people culture). I never would have thought that white men also have an issue with women in their thirties, I thought that was something cultures like ours have to deal with. Why is this the case? When I was husband hunting (I say it as it is!) I frequently wished I was a white girl, not because of looks (I’m attractive and attracted men of races other than mine but that wasn’t an option) but because I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to. I ended up making a rational decision by marrying someone who, while I wasn’t head over heels over and isn’t as successful as I was shooting for, has a good job, comes from upper class family (important in our culture) and is a good person.

It's a cross cultural thing because it's a biological thing. Men want young(er) women. Why would a man in his late 30s marry a woman in her late 30s when he could marry someone in her late 20s?

No sane older man who has option between 30s vs 20s women would choose the former.

So, what’s the best course of action for a mid-30s woman seeking marriage?

To go for men without options.

So maybe he doesn’t earn enough, or is fat, or isn’t the same race, or is under 5’10, or is an introvert, or has baggage, or is much older.

Compromise on Atleast two points.

[Anonymous]

Ladies - don’t listen to these posts, they are ridiculous. Signed a woman in DC who was in her 30s when she met her younger (late 20s) cute, sweet, normal, husband, had two kids and has been happily married 27 years. And, trust me, I’m just regular pretty - not some model-looking person claimed to be necessary to attract a younger husband. Let your fear go and live your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly shocked at this thread. I’m Arab living in DC and admittedly have limited insight into other cultures (including the dominant white people culture). I never would have thought that white men also have an issue with women in their thirties, I thought that was something cultures like ours have to deal with. Why is this the case? When I was husband hunting (I say it as it is!) I frequently wished I was a white girl, not because of looks (I’m attractive and attracted men of races other than mine but that wasn’t an option) but because I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to. I ended up making a rational decision by marrying someone who, while I wasn’t head over heels over and isn’t as successful as I was shooting for, has a good job, comes from upper class family (important in our culture) and is a good person.

It's a cross cultural thing because it's a biological thing. Men want young(er) women. Why would a man in his late 30s marry a woman in her late 30s when he could marry someone in her late 20s?

No sane older man who has option between 30s vs 20s women would choose the former.

So, what’s the best course of action for a mid-30s woman seeking marriage?

To go for men without options.

So maybe he doesn’t earn enough, or is fat, or isn’t the same race, or is under 5’10, or is an introvert, or has baggage, or is much older.

Compromise on Atleast two points.

The problem for these special guys is that most sane young girls want men who are their age and not someone 10 years older.

Most people want a partner who is their age, especially in their 20's and 30's. Your "advice" is a vile attempt of giving it back to women who ignored you your whole life because are repulsive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m honestly shocked at this thread. I’m Arab living in DC and admittedly have limited insight into other cultures (including the dominant white people culture). I never would have thought that white men also have an issue with women in their thirties, I thought that was something cultures like ours have to deal with. Why is this the case? When I was husband hunting (I say it as it is!) I frequently wished I was a white girl, not because of looks (I’m attractive and attracted men of races other than mine but that wasn’t an option) but because I was envious of the wide pool that I assumed white women in their thirties have access to. I ended up making a rational decision by marrying someone who, while I wasn’t head over heels over and isn’t as successful as I was shooting for, has a good job, comes from upper class family (important in our culture) and is a good person.

It's a cross cultural thing because it's a biological thing. Men want young(er) women. Why would a man in his late 30s marry a woman in her late 30s when he could marry someone in her late 20s?

No sane older man who has option between 30s vs 20s women would choose the former.

So, what’s the best course of action for a mid-30s woman seeking marriage?

To go for men without options.

So maybe he doesn’t earn enough, or is fat, or isn’t the same race, or is under 5’10, or is an introvert, or has baggage, or is much older.

Compromise on Atleast two points.

The problem for these special guys is that most sane young girls want men who are their age and not someone 10 years older.

Most people want a partner who is their age, especially in their 20's and 30's. Your "advice" is a vile attempt of giving it back to women who ignored you your whole life because are repulsive.

NP I'm a married mother of two with the same advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies - don’t listen to these posts, they are ridiculous. Signed a woman in DC who was in her 30s when she met her younger (late 20s) cute, sweet, normal, husband, had two kids and has been happily married 27 years. And, trust me, I’m just regular pretty - not some model-looking person claimed to be necessary to attract a younger husband. Let your fear go and live your life.

Things have changed in 30 years. Something called "tinder".