You see it as insecure. I see it as romantic. If you interpret your husband’s actions as insecure or assume he thinks you are promiscuous whenever he puts his arm around you in public or sits next to you when you go out to dinner, is there a way that your husband can be near you without you seeing him as weak or critical of you? No wonder half of the people on this forum aren’t having sex. |
You and your wife both sound kind of mean. I’m glad you found each other. |
| dmv is land of the beta male. |
+1 |
| From the other side, it’s pretty satisfying to have your ex eye fu** you over drinks and only remember she’s married when you have her husband pay your bar tab. |
| I consider an "alpha" to be quietly confident. Jealousy is insecurity.... insecurity is a weakness. |
NP- the arm around you thing would bother me. Mostly because I see this behavior as he is clearly "marking" you as 'his." I am no one's but my own. I'm not property to be marked. In a similar situation, my husband has whispered to me, "Sure I'll be nice to that guy. He can come around and flirt with you and make you smile, but you are going home with me." It was less obvious and still made me feel wanted without needing to physically mark me as "his." |
| I’ve realized that what I thought was “alpha man” is not what men think is “alpha man.” I thought the alpha man was strong, kind of stoic, and cool headed. But actually it’s a preening baby. That’s why they picked Trump. |
White women did, too. |
+1 |
exactly. the incels on the other thread, on reddit, really have zero understanding of the term and what it means. many women too don't know what it means either, but PP (who I am assuming is a woman) get it. true confidence =/= the jealous type. false confidence (braggadocio), overtly behaving in a way the says saying "I'm alpha is not real confidence. |
Pp here. That seems a lot more obvious to me, and the whispering thing would kind of creep me out. I think that lot of my DH’s behavior is largely unconscious. I would never say anything to him about it, but I like it when he does it. Are you never ok with your husband touching you in public? Do you always feel “marked?” |
| Yes! |
right? And have him grovelling to get your approval. Now THAT is a power position to be in. lol |
| I would say the most insecure man with the smallest package I was ever with was the most insecure. I ended up with a pretty “manly” man…a man of few words who will throw down for me if needed and changes my oil for me etc. not jealous at all. |