Husband Said I’m Too Strict With Baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, that baby is going to change his own schedule soon enough. You will learn that just as you think you find what you baby likes, they become a whole new baby. A lot of it has to do with your baby’s natural disposition and not as much of your choices as you think. That’s why you will see a lot of response on this forum calling people out as first time parents when they talk about how they did this magic thing that made their baby a good sleeper/eater/whatever. Then we learn that when we do the exact same thing with another kid, it has no effect at all.

Let dad play with his baby.

OP here. I’m aware of that and said his schedule will change again soon. The biggest thing is now I know his wake times and his cues and I can put him to sleep at appropriate times so he doesn't why overtired.

My husband doesn’t do well with lots of crying. If he keeps him up and he starts crying, I will have to take over and calm him down.

It’s his baby too, but I’m the one that spends most of my time with him. I think I should be able to do what is best for him and myself to make our days run smoothly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of schedule is your baby on? Does he not get to spend time with your baby at all?

OP here. His schedule is

Feedings - 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, and 6pm, 7:30pm, and 10pm.

Naps: 8:15-10am, 11:30-1pm, 2:30-4pm, 5:30-6pm. Bedtime at 8. Wakes up at 7am.

He was a mess for the first 8 weeks because he rarely showed signs of being tired until it was too late and then would cry for 30 minutes while I tried to get him down. He was always fussy. I read a book and realized I was keeping him awake too long. I started following wake windows and everything fell into place. He is a much happier baby now. He is 9.5 weeks old and has been following this routine for about two weeks. It may change but at least I know what to do now.

That is way too much sleep for a baby. My kids never slept more that much. Keep him awake and play with him. Stop forcing him to go to sleep.

New Poster here. He's not even 10 weeks old. This isn't a lot of sleep for a kid this age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t eat throughout the night at his age ??

OP here. He had a dream feed at 10pm. He sometimes will wake up for a feeding at 3/4am but dropped that at 8 weeks. He still eats 7 times a day and is gaining well. He eats 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 6pm, 7:30pm, and 10pm. He tanks up for the night at 6pm, 7:30, and 10pm feedings. He eats 28-32oz a day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t eat throughout the night at his age ??

+1. That baby is probably forced to go to sleep and is starving.

[Anonymous]

A one hour wake window is very reasonable for a baby that age! I don’t know what these people are talking about. Does your husband not get that keeping the baby up will make the baby cranky?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of schedule is your baby on? Does he not get to spend time with your baby at all?

OP here. His schedule is

Feedings - 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, and 6pm, 7:30pm, and 10pm.

Naps: 8:15-10am, 11:30-1pm, 2:30-4pm, 5:30-6pm. Bedtime at 8. Wakes up at 7am.

He was a mess for the first 8 weeks because he rarely showed signs of being tired until it was too late and then would cry for 30 minutes while I tried to get him down. He was always fussy. I read a book and realized I was keeping him awake too long. I started following wake windows and everything fell into place. He is a much happier baby now. He is 9.5 weeks old and has been following this routine for about two weeks. It may change but at least I know what to do now.

That is way too much sleep for a baby. My kids never slept more that much. Keep him awake and play with him. Stop forcing him to go to sleep.

OP here. He sleeps about 16 hours a day. The pediatrician said that was perfectly normal for a baby his age. There is a wide range and some babies require more sleep. He used to sleep up to 20 hours a day the first month and then was doing 18 hours. The pediatrician assured us it’s normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A one hour wake window is very reasonable for a baby that age! I don’t know what these people are talking about. Does your husband not get that keeping the baby up will make the baby cranky?

OP here. He’s awake for longer than that now. He usually is up for 75-90 minutes and then about two hours before bedtime.

He thinks he sleeps too much and that he would sleeps 12 hours at night like our friends baby if we kept him up for longer. Her baby requires less sleep. I told him all babies are different, and 8 hours at night ( 11 hours with dream feed) is good for a baby his age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What type of schedule is your baby on? Does he not get to spend time with your baby at all?

OP here. His schedule is

Feedings - 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, and 6pm, 7:30pm, and 10pm.

Naps: 8:15-10am, 11:30-1pm, 2:30-4pm, 5:30-6pm. Bedtime at 8. Wakes up at 7am.

He was a mess for the first 8 weeks because he rarely showed signs of being tired until it was too late and then would cry for 30 minutes while I tried to get him down. He was always fussy. I read a book and realized I was keeping him awake too long. I started following wake windows and everything fell into place. He is a much happier baby now. He is 9.5 weeks old and has been following this routine for about two weeks. It may change but at least I know what to do now.

That is way too much sleep for a baby. My kids never slept more that much. Keep him awake and play with him. Stop forcing him to go to sleep.

New Poster here. He's not even 10 weeks old. This isn't a lot of sleep for a kid this age.

+1.

New poster here. Mine just turned 12 weeks old and sleeps about 15-16 hours a day. He’s on track with his weight and development. He naps 8:30-10am, 11:30-12:30, 2:30-3:30, and 5-6pm. He sleeps 11 hours at night.

My best friend has a baby a month older and he sleeps 11 hours at night with 4 solid naps ( 3 long and one short) and eats 5 times a day.

This is perfectly normal for a baby OP’s age.

[Anonymous]

I completely get the importance of the sleep schedule. It directly pacts mom's sleep which is also critical. I say work around the baby's schedule and make everyone else do this as well. Sorry dad, mom knows best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A one hour wake window is very reasonable for a baby that age! I don’t know what these people are talking about. Does your husband not get that keeping the baby up will make the baby cranky?

OP here. He’s awake for longer than that now. He usually is up for 75-90 minutes and then about two hours before bedtime.

He thinks he sleeps too much and that he would sleeps 12 hours at night like our friends baby if we kept him up for longer. Her baby requires less sleep. I told him all babies are different, and 8 hours at night ( 11 hours with dream feed) is good for a baby his age.

Holy crap, your husband doesn’t know how good he has it. My ten month old does nine hours until his first wakeup if I’m lucky. Six if I’m unlucky. And that’s with serious efforts at sleep training.

[Anonymous]

OP, Don’t listen to many of the posters. What you were doing sounds lovely. I think you and your husband should talk. You need to tell him why this works and what the consequences are when the baby does not get enough sleep. It’s true he should have some input but maybe if he understands that sleep is the best thing an infant can do then he will get on board. It will be important for the two of you to be partnered as you move through parenting stages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t eat throughout the night at his age ??

He is probably formula fed. They sleep longer at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A one hour wake window is very reasonable for a baby that age! I don’t know what these people are talking about. Does your husband not get that keeping the baby up will make the baby cranky?

OP here. He’s awake for longer than that now. He usually is up for 75-90 minutes and then about two hours before bedtime.

He thinks he sleeps too much and that he would sleeps 12 hours at night like our friends baby if we kept him up for longer. Her baby requires less sleep. I told him all babies are different, and 8 hours at night ( 11 hours with dream feed) is good for a baby his age.

Holy crap, your husband doesn’t know how good he has it. My ten month old does nine hours until his first wakeup if I’m lucky. Six if I’m unlucky. And that’s with serious efforts at sleep training.

+1. Sleep begets sleep. Keeping a baby up will make them overtired and they won’t sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He doesn’t eat throughout the night at his age ??

It sounds like he eats too much. Both of my babies ate 24-28oz, and didn’t start eating more than 24oz until 3-4 months old. Her baby eats 28-32oz which is a lot for a 9 week old baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a baby boy born in September. He’s a very easy baby and is generally a good sleeper. We use the Snoo for bedtime and most naps. I started getting him on a schedule around 8 weeks. We did sleep train and put him on a schedule. He’s on a schedule with a 15 minute flexibility window. My husband has the week off and has been enjoying spending time with him. He’s has made comments about how I’m too strict with a schedule. He has wanted to play with him or FaceTime when it’s nap time and I’ve had to tell him wait until the next wake cycle. He has said I’m too strict and he should be able to spend as much time with his baby whenever he wants. I told then he can deal with him when he has a crying bout because he’s overtired and won’t go to sleep. He called me mean. Who is right?

You and stand your ground because when your DH messes up schedule of baby, he'll hand it all back to you!