Husband Said I’m Too Strict With Baby

[Anonymous]

I have a baby boy born in September. He’s a very easy baby and is generally a good sleeper. We use the Snoo for bedtime and most naps. I started getting him on a schedule around 8 weeks. We did sleep train and put him on a schedule. He’s on a schedule with a 15 minute flexibility window. My husband has the week off and has been enjoying spending time with him. He’s has made comments about how I’m too strict with a schedule. He has wanted to play with him or FaceTime when it’s nap time and I’ve had to tell him wait until the next wake cycle. He has said I’m too strict and he should be able to spend as much time with his baby whenever he wants. I told then he can deal with him when he has a crying bout because he’s overtired and won’t go to sleep. He called me mean. Who is right?

[Anonymous]

Then he can deal with a cranky baby. My family is very strict about bedtimes for little ones as it keeps them (our kids) happier and chiller the rest of the time. Different kids are differnt.

[Anonymous]

This is how you end up with a hands off uninvolved Dad.

[Anonymous]

you're both wrong

[Anonymous]

You are. He called you mean? Is he 8 years old?

The real issue is that you’re both not on the same page about what’s important. I’m with you 1000% regarding sleep. Helping a child to get enough good sleep is one of the best gifts we can give our children. That said, it’s also important that both parents are working together. Based on his immature response, I can see this turning into a power struggle. Maybe engage him in more care so he feels connected other than being “fun dad.” He should be putting the baby down for naps and getting up when he’s crying.

[Anonymous]

You're right. But you should let him try to skip nap once and then see how cranky and un-fun the baby is.

There should be plenty of time for play during your baby's awake times, anyway. And in a few weeks your baby is going to have even longer awake times so it won't be as much of an issue.

[Anonymous]

I think the previous PP is too harsh. I had twins and I know how essential a schedule can be. That being said, if you are able to get your child back on schedule, I'd head out for the day and let dad spend as much time as he wants during the day with baby without you dealing with the meltdowns during the day. Will it be rough at night? Maybe, but at least you have will have proof that the schedule is there for a reason.

[Anonymous]

What type of schedule is your baby on? Does he not get to spend time with your baby at all?

[Anonymous]

Sleep train an 8 week old? That’s cruel.

[Anonymous]

Help him be more involved. My SIL has a very strict schedule which has resulted in her being the only caretaker. She won’t even let her mother or MIL watch her in case her schedule is messed up. My sister has a schedule but there’s a little more flexibility and as a result, she has more people able to help her. I’d try to build in more flexibility and involve your husband in building a schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What type of schedule is your baby on? Does he not get to spend time with your baby at all?

Read the post. He does. He just wants to do it when he wants to do it and for however long he wants to. If that interferes with the baby’s schedule, he doesn’t care. Clearly he has never dealt with an overtired baby that is off their sleep schedule.

[Anonymous]

I am all for sleep training your kids, but sleep training an 8 week old is cruel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am all for sleep training your kids, but sleep training an 8 week old is cruel.

+1
This is too young for this kind of rigidity and your expectations of a baby are way off.
Feel bad for you all when you try to potty train.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What type of schedule is your baby on? Does he not get to spend time with your baby at all?

OP here. His schedule is

Feedings - 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, and 6pm, 7:30pm, and 10pm.

Naps: 8:15-10am, 11:30-1pm, 2:30-4pm, 5:30-6pm. Bedtime at 8. Wakes up at 7am.

He was a mess for the first 8 weeks because he rarely showed signs of being tired until it was too late and then would cry for 30 minutes while I tried to get him down. He was always fussy. I read a book and realized I was keeping him awake too long. I started following wake windows and everything fell into place. He is a much happier baby now. He is 9.5 weeks old and has been following this routine for about two weeks. It may change but at least I know what to do now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am all for sleep training your kids, but sleep training an 8 week old is cruel.

+1
This is too young for this kind of rigidity and your expectations of a baby are way off.
Feel bad for you all when you try to potty train.

+1

The bare minimum age is four months.