Is it rude to host party and not provide alcohol?

[Anonymous]

If these are good friends, you tell them why. If they aren't good friends, you don't worry about what they think. They think you threw a boring party - you live with that. You must be willing to live with that. That's what resisting peer pressure looks like.

[Anonymous]

Yes rude. Don’t host so your guests can go to other parties.

[Anonymous]

Are you planning to never serve alcohol in your home again? If you do want to serve beer or wine or what have you in the future, you might as well start now and start as you mean to go on. What magic day will it be when you can stand to serve it and not partake?

[Anonymous]

Only to alcoholics

Most of my parties are without alcohol. My friends don't mind, they usually don't drink either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you planning to never serve alcohol in your home again? If you do want to serve beer or wine or what have you in the future, you might as well start now and start as you mean to go on. What magic day will it be when you can stand to serve it and not partake?

I’d ignore this, OP. This is the type of response from people who take you not drinking as a time to indirectly reflect on themselves. So by trying to make you serve alcohol “for you” as in, if you are going to do it sometime - do it now. When really this is about the person thinking about being at a party with no alcohol.

I agree that too many people in our community don’t get how addictive alcohol is and if having one night is hard at a party, that is on them- not on you the host.

[Anonymous]

I would not have guests over who drink and not provide alcohol. Could you hire a bartender with advance instructions to take all alcohol with them when they leave? Another option would be to host dinner at a restaurant where they can order what they want but you don’t have alcohol leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t tell your friends that you’ve stopped drinking, you’re not ready to host a party.

This. You may not be ready for this yet and that’s fine. Don’t push yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you planning to never serve alcohol in your home again? If you do want to serve beer or wine or what have you in the future, you might as well start now and start as you mean to go on. What magic day will it be when you can stand to serve it and not partake?

I’d ignore this, OP. This is the type of response from people who take you not drinking as a time to indirectly reflect on themselves. So by trying to make you serve alcohol “for you” as in, if you are going to do it sometime - do it now. When really this is about the person thinking about being at a party with no alcohol.

I agree that too many people in our community don’t get how addictive alcohol is and if having one night is hard at a party, that is on them- not on you the host.

…how many parties are you going to?

Seriously, DH and I rarely drink at home. As in maybe we’ll have a drink with dinner once a month. But when we get a sitter and have a rare date night out, whether it be at a restaurant or at someone’s home for a dinner party or a holiday party, yes, we’d like a drink or two. We maybe go to four parties a year, maybe. Especially after the pandemic. If I got a sitter and got dressed up and am having a very rare night out, I want to have a drink or two—it’s one thing to tell me it will be a no-alcohol party, and it’s quite another to tell me that I can bring my own wine. That’s awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let them know! I won’t be serving alcohol this year as I have stopped drinking. I will have a lot of delicious options!

I find it so strange that some adults can’t socialize without alcohol. If that’s you, you need to ask yourself what’s going on.

That’s like saying someone is “wrong” to be disappointed that they were only served super-strict health food at a party, when they were expecting a more typical party. Wouldn’t you be disappointed to show up to a party expecting to have a bit of a festive evening only to be served nothing but raw vegetables and quinoa and no dessert?

DH and I very rarely drink, it’s even more rare that we get a sitter and have a night at a party or a dinner party. So when we do have that opportunity to go out, we would like a cocktail or a glass of wine—no big deal. We don’t drink to get drunk and we don’t have more than one (for the driver) or two (for the passenger).

[Anonymous]

I would think it was rude, yes, and I dont drink a ton. But I always have some wine and liquor to offer my guests even though I personally never drink liquor. But its the polite thing to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never care if there’s alcohol at an event, but these are your old drinking buddies. I agree that you should tell them in advance. The solution is up to your comfort level, but if they can being and take away, or whether you’re just having a dry dinner is up to you. Be prepared with your responses if people bring it up or dwell on it. Don’t you go on and on about your new sobriety, because they will feel judged, and if a guest goes on and on about it, you shut that down with something like “oh, this is such a boring topic, how about them Jets”? I understand if your fragile right now, so,thinks though what could be a potentially awkward scenario ahead of time is helpful.

Good luck, OP.

+1

I don't think OP has any obligation to serve alcohol, but given this group and their expectations, I think that it's important to let them know in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d provide some beer and wine. If they’re getting sitters, they want a night out.

Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d provide some beer and wine. If they’re getting sitters, they want a night out.

Wow.

It is more like you meant to say. "If they are getting a sitter, they want alcohol" My friend group hardly drinks. If someone was trying to avoid alcohol, everyone would be supportive. If someone shared they were diabetic, I would not serve a chocolate cake for dessert.

[Anonymous]

Not rude, but I’d only go to a dinner party without alcohol once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not rude, but I’d only go to a dinner party without alcohol once.

Exactly, I'd never be back. I'm gluten free but I always make sure that if I'm posting a party I will have some gluten options or even better gluten substites for everyone to enjoy. Like I'm used to just putting pate on a cucumber slice, but I know most people prefer some bread, so I'd get some crackers (even gluten free ones to prevent cross contamination) or whatever other sides. It's just common courtesy. Otherwise dont host!