Is it rude to host party and not provide alcohol?

[Anonymous]

You are sabotaging yourself by hosting people in your home who were your drinking buddies for years. Move the event to a public place where everyone who wants to drink has that option. This is weird, wrong, and more than anything, cruel to yourself. It's like you're setting up a test in which you know friends will shame you for quitting. Another OP said you should cancel; if you can't change the venue and you are serious about staying sober this is the only option.

[Anonymous]

This is a precarious time for you OP. Your self care is paramount. I wouldn’t host anything right now.

[Anonymous]

I would want to know in advance. I would generally expect there to be booze at a dinner party, unless it was hosted by a muslim or some such. If they know you from your drinking days they will expect booze, unless they know you have quit?

That said, good on you for quitting. It is a drug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know in advance. I would generally expect there to be booze at a dinner party, unless it was hosted by a muslim or some such. If they know you from your drinking days they will expect booze, unless they know you have quit?

That said, good on you for quitting. It is a drug.

You can't get through one dinner without a drink? OP, people will be fine. If you don't drink, it is fine to not serve alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Just let them know! I won’t be serving alcohol this year as I have stopped drinking. I will have a lot of delicious options!

I find it so strange that some adults can’t socialize without alcohol. If that’s you, you need to ask yourself what’s going on.

[Anonymous]

I’d provide some beer and wine. If they’re getting sitters, they want a night out.

[Anonymous]

You need to say something. I would be quite surprised to go to a dinner party and not be offered a drink. I have hosted social events when I'm not drinking (I generally do a dry January) but always offered alcohol as well as some good non-alcoholic options. It's up to you if you want it to be just no alcohol or BYOB. I would come either way and if it was BYOB I would bring a bottle of wine. But I would want to know in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would want to know in advance. I would generally expect there to be booze at a dinner party, unless it was hosted by a muslim or some such. If they know you from your drinking days they will expect booze, unless they know you have quit?

That said, good on you for quitting. It is a drug.

You can't get through one dinner without a drink? OP, people will be fine. If you don't drink, it is fine to not serve alcohol.

No one is saying that they can’t get through a meal without alcohol, just that we would want to know in advance. I never drink and drive, for example, so if there is no booze I would drive, whereas if there is I would book an uber.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let them know! I won’t be serving alcohol this year as I have stopped drinking. I will have a lot of delicious options!

I find it so strange that some adults can’t socialize without alcohol. If that’s you, you need to ask yourself what’s going on.

You do not understand addiction if you find this strange.

[Anonymous]

I never care if there’s alcohol at an event, but these are your old drinking buddies. I agree that you should tell them in advance. The solution is up to your comfort level, but if they can being and take away, or whether you’re just having a dry dinner is up to you. Be prepared with your responses if people bring it up or dwell on it. Don’t you go on and on about your new sobriety, because they will feel judged, and if a guest goes on and on about it, you shut that down with something like “oh, this is such a boring topic, how about them Jets”? I understand if your fragile right now, so,thinks though what could be a potentially awkward scenario ahead of time is helpful.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just let them know! I won’t be serving alcohol this year as I have stopped drinking. I will have a lot of delicious options!

I find it so strange that some adults can’t socialize without alcohol. If that’s you, you need to ask yourself what’s going on.

“I will have a lot of delicious options”. Well, when you put it like that…
I love delicious options!

[Anonymous]

I would be surprised but I would assume the host didn’t drink alcohol so I wouldn’t think much of it.
If I knew they drank but just didn’t have any at this party, I might think that was weird. Especially since guests probably brought bottles of wine as hostess gifts.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t tell your friends that you’ve stopped drinking, you’re not ready to host a party.

[Anonymous]

I hate the drinking culture that is so prevalent in this area. For a party, I offer beer or wine. But none of the harder stuff.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's rude to host a party and not provide alcohol but obviously in your scenario as you described it: "The guests are heavy drinkers (drinking during daytime kid birthday parties, sneaking drinks at public parks, etc). When I’ve hosted in the past, I’ve always served alcohol, but can’t do that anymore." --> You should tell them you're not serving alcohol in advance because they are going to be expecting that you are serving it as usual.