Feeling sad that my in laws are so indifferent about my kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you know that your husband's family has a different attitude and traditions for how grandparents interact with grandchildren, and you've decided to take it personally that they don't have the one you had? Nothing about what you wrote tells me that your in-laws are "indifferent" to your kids, only that they don't want or have the kind of interaction you want. And you are making it into a personal rejection, even though it's probably just how they are and how they were raised. Stop comparing them to other people, and figure out how to work with what you've got.

This. I also couldn't help but wonder if they are moving away to get some breathing room from OP

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Seriously. They are your kids. You decided to have them. Grandparents are not obligated to be built in babysitters. They don’t have to keep living near you. You don’t own them just because they raised your husband.

Good God, can you read? OP said NOTHING about expecting her ILs to babysit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you know that your husband's family has a different attitude and traditions for how grandparents interact with grandchildren, and you've decided to take it personally that they don't have the one you had? Nothing about what you wrote tells me that your in-laws are "indifferent" to your kids, only that they don't want or have the kind of interaction you want. And you are making it into a personal rejection, even though it's probably just how they are and how they were raised. Stop comparing them to other people, and figure out how to work with what you've got.

This. I also couldn't help but wonder if they are moving away to get some breathing room from OP

Troll

NP…Why troll? Just because you don’t agree with them? It was a good observation.

[Anonymous]

DCUM has really turned into a cesspool of trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. Seriously. They are your kids. You decided to have them. Grandparents are not obligated to be built in babysitters. They don’t have to keep living near you. You don’t own them just because they raised your husband.

The boomers are the most selfish generation, PP above is a clear example of this. OP, my parents are the silent generation and super involved with all their grandkids. H's parents are boomers and I don't think they remember the grandkids' ages or birthdays. However, they are delusional and entitled and hinting that they expect us to take care on them when they are no longer self-suficient. Good luck with that, boomers.

Do you remember boomers got the vax on SNL? at 1:40

(Maya)
Stop by my house
Give my grandkids a hug
Now get the f--- out
I'm trying to have fun!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both of those sound like extremes to me - I would be really annoyed if my in-laws or parents wanted to have the relationship with my children that you had with your grandparents. That sounds incredibly smothering.

Who would not want their kids to be loved like that. How possessive and immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you know that your husband's family has a different attitude and traditions for how grandparents interact with grandchildren, and you've decided to take it personally that they don't have the one you had? Nothing about what you wrote tells me that your in-laws are "indifferent" to your kids, only that they don't want or have the kind of interaction you want. And you are making it into a personal rejection, even though it's probably just how they are and how they were raised. Stop comparing them to other people, and figure out how to work with what you've got.

This. I also couldn't help but wonder if they are moving away to get some breathing room from OP

Troll

Not agreeing with your viewpoint does not make someone a troll. It sounds like OP is overbearing and trying to force her in las to be what she thinks they should be to make up what she is lacking from her own parents, it doesn't sound like they are at all interested in the level of involvement op has been pushing and refusing to accept. Now that they are 3.5 hrs away OP will no longer be able to just show p at their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both of those sound like extremes to me - I would be really annoyed if my in-laws or parents wanted to have the relationship with my children that you had with your grandparents. That sounds incredibly smothering.

Who would not want their kids to be loved like that. How possessive and immature.

D

NP. Nope! Too enmeshed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both of those sound like extremes to me - I would be really annoyed if my in-laws or parents wanted to have the relationship with my children that you had with your grandparents. That sounds incredibly smothering.

Who would not want their kids to be loved like that. How possessive and immature.

D

NP. Nope! Too enmeshed!

I agree it's too much. It doesn't sound like the in laws are perusing to see the grandkids or don't interact with them or you know truly indifferent, it sounds like OP wants there to be constant daily engagement, and they don't and you know what that's okay.

[Anonymous]

You really, really, need to get over it, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you know that your husband's family has a different attitude and traditions for how grandparents interact with grandchildren, and you've decided to take it personally that they don't have the one you had? Nothing about what you wrote tells me that your in-laws are "indifferent" to your kids, only that they don't want or have the kind of interaction you want. And you are making it into a personal rejection, even though it's probably just how they are and how they were raised. Stop comparing them to other people, and figure out how to work with what you've got.

This. I also couldn't help but wonder if they are moving away to get some breathing room from OP

Troll

NP…Why troll? Just because you don’t agree with them? It was a good observation.

Snarky unnecessary passive aggressive comment smells like a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you know that your husband's family has a different attitude and traditions for how grandparents interact with grandchildren, and you've decided to take it personally that they don't have the one you had? Nothing about what you wrote tells me that your in-laws are "indifferent" to your kids, only that they don't want or have the kind of interaction you want. And you are making it into a personal rejection, even though it's probably just how they are and how they were raised. Stop comparing them to other people, and figure out how to work with what you've got.

This. I also couldn't help but wonder if they are moving away to get some breathing room from OP

Troll

NP…Why troll? Just because you don’t agree with them? It was a good observation.

Snarky unnecessary passive aggressive comment smells like a troll

Also one of the trolls who regularly posts unnecessary mean sh*t often starts with “This”

[Anonymous]

Maybe the in-laws are concerned about overstepping boundaries. They want to be extra cautious and make sure they don't annoy your family. So they don't initiate because they see you as the initiator? And maybe the move is related to something else, not you. I wouldn't take it personally. They probably appreciate all of your efforts.

[Anonymous]

DH's parents are the same way, if not worse. The first thing they said to me when I announced I was pregnant with our first was "Don't ever ask us to babysit!" That's fine -I never expected childcare from them - but it really describes their whole attitude towards our kids, and even DH and I.

Even though we all live in the DMV we only see them a handful of times a year, for an hour or two at most, typically at a restaurant. They always make throw away comments that they'd love to come to one of the kids' games or performances, but have never once followed through. They spend the winters at their place in Florida and always say that we should fly down for a long weekend sometime, but when it gets to making actual plans, they always make an excuse so we've never been.

Every time we see them the first thing they ask is how old the kids are, when are their birthdays and what grades they are in. They are completely mentally competent but just don't give a damn, don't listen or interact and it's hurtful to the kids. Our oldest is 12 and can finally understand a bit more about who they really are, but it's tough on the younger one. Sure I'm disappointed, but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you know that your husband's family has a different attitude and traditions for how grandparents interact with grandchildren, and you've decided to take it personally that they don't have the one you had? Nothing about what you wrote tells me that your in-laws are "indifferent" to your kids, only that they don't want or have the kind of interaction you want. And you are making it into a personal rejection, even though it's probably just how they are and how they were raised. Stop comparing them to other people, and figure out how to work with what you've got.

This. I also couldn't help but wonder if they are moving away to get some breathing room from OP

Troll

NP…Why troll? Just because you don’t agree with them? It was a good observation.

Snarky unnecessary passive aggressive comment smells like a troll

Also one of the trolls who regularly posts unnecessary mean sh*t often starts with “This”

Disagree. This!..I have seen is used as a response to 100s of threads. I think the pp has just struck a nerve.