Husband Always Walks Way in Front of Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 5'1 with short legs, and my husband is 6'2 with long legs. During the first few years of marriage, he would slow down his pace so that we could walk together when we were out in public. However, over the last twenty years, he consistently has walked about fifteen feet ahead of me whenever we go somewhere. I either have to jog to keep up or accept walking behind alone. Now, our teenage daughter (who also is tall) is doing the same thing, and I feel doubly left out as I watch them chatting, etc. I have told him dozens of times that I feel left out walking by myself, but he says that I am a slow walker and that he shouldn't have to slow down his pace. This weekend, we were all walking in the downtown area of another city. It was late at night, and there were a number of sketchy-looking people around. I am recovering from foot surgery and have an even slower pace currently. They would cross streets without me and leave me behind for the next light to change. I kept explaining that the doctor said that I was not allowed to run on my foot and that I was afraid of slipping in the rain because I can't entirely feel my foot right now. Am I wrong that I think they should slow their pace to allow me to keep up with them?

Get a wheelchair and have them push you around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:End result of only 6’ tall guys need apply.

x10000000

[Anonymous]

I never thought how this could be an issue my 5'1" sister always managed to keep up with us, I guess she just learned to walk faster.

Ideally, you find a pace that works for everyone in the group, so not super fast , and not super slow. Of course, this is after your surgery. Did you refuse use of a wheelchair while recovering? You can't run, but Imagine it's also not great for you just to be walking around all the time. Perhaps if you got one it would slow them down temporarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really, really trying to teach my son not to do this, but he seems so oblivious and incapable of adjusting his gait to stick with the group. It started as soon as he got to 5'10" and now he's over 6'. To his future spouse: I'm trying!

Maybe he'll choose a taller spouse.

Hopefully!

[Anonymous]

My husband has permanent mobility issue that makes him walk much slower than typical. He tells me it is okay to go ahead and I do when we are with the kids. It is just easier for all involved to go at kid pace for now. When they are older and can adjust more easily, we may have them slow down, or get my husband a wheel chair - who knows? When it is just my husband and I we go at his pace. We are both around 6 feet give or take an inch below for me and a couple above for him.
OP if he does this when there are just 2 of you, I would definitely be upset!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is 5'0 and her DH is 6'4, they've never had that issue. Your DH sounds like a jerk and so does your DD.

+1 I'm 5', DH is 6'2 --- very long legs. He still holds my hand when we walk, especially at night, and even more so in sort of sketchy areas.

I can understand the teen DD being this way, as they are pretty self absorbed, but your DH doing this is another story.

We are in our 50s, and our DD is a teen. She has longer legs than I do. Sometimes if they are talking together, they will walk ahead of me or behind me since trying to fit 3 in a sidewalk is not easy. But, if my foot was hurting, they sure as heck would wait for me. When I was recovering from a car accident, I was walking very slowly, and they both would walk slowly for me. If we were just going for a walk around the neighborhood, then I don't think it's a big deal, but walking around in town or going somewhere, and they just leave you with a hurting foot? Wow, that's pretty bad.

Your family is very inconsiderate. Are they inconsiderate in other ways and to other people, or just to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:End result of only 6’ tall guys need apply.

x10000000

nope, OP's DH is just a jerk.

-signed short woman married to a tall man, and did not have a 6'+ threshold. Actually, I never sought out a guy over 5'10, but it just worked out that way.

[Anonymous]

5’4” woman here who hates slowing down for my insanely slow spouse. It is hard to walk more slowly than is comfortable, just as I’m sure it’s hard to walk more quickly than ever s comfortable. Try holding hands with him (my husband does this, but still walks super slow so I feel like I’m lugging him along, like a recalcitrant giant toddler, lol).
My point is that I wouldn’t frame it in terms of disrespect, but more of comfort for each person. Tell him you’ll speed up (once you’re healed) and f he will slow down so you can try to meet me in the middle).

[Anonymous]

This is a respect issue, not a pace or height issue.

[Anonymous]

Mine does this too. Walks away with tall daughter, leaves me behind with little son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:End result of only 6’ tall guys need apply.

x10000000

What a dumb comment. My boyfriends before my husband ranged from 5’7” to 6’. The longest term boyfriend was about 5’9”. Married my husband in spite of his height, not because of it.

[Anonymous]

This drives me so insane. I find it so rude — I’ve said something but he never adjusts for more than a minute. The. He’s like “why are so you out of breath?”

[Anonymous]

My DH started doing this and he isn't even that tall (5'10"). I asked nicely multiple times and it never stopped. So I refused to walk with him. In was calm about it, but firm. No, I won't walk to the store with you because I don't want to trail behind. You will have to allocate time for me to get an Uber because I won't walk with you. Etc. He almost immediately changed his approach and now we walk together again. It has been years since he walked far ahead of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:5’4” woman here who hates slowing down for my insanely slow spouse. It is hard to walk more slowly than is comfortable, just as I’m sure it’s hard to walk more quickly than ever s comfortable. Try holding hands with him (my husband does this, but still walks super slow so I feel like I’m lugging him along, like a recalcitrant giant toddler, lol).
My point is that I wouldn’t frame it in terms of disrespect, but more of comfort for each person. Tell him you’ll speed up (once you’re healed) and f he will slow down so you can try to meet me in the middle).

It is much easier to slow down than speed up. Come on. They aren't equivalent.

[Anonymous]

Ha, I’m short like you, and I walk faster than my husband. It’s because I grew up walking fast. I can’t stand walking slowly, so I feel for young husband. It’s very hard to slow your pace for a long period of time.