Husband Always Walks Way in Front of Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I have been married for 47 years, and my husband has always sprinted ahead of me when out in public. I feel like a second class citizen. He is 7 inches taller than I am and very fit. At this point I am unfit. Even at the beginning of our marriage he walked ahead of me. And in a crowded setting, if I was in front of him, he would push my body through the crowd to get through faster. I am going to tell him today how this makes me feel. Suggest that we hold hands.

I have to chime in on this ancient thread. My DH is barely taller than me, and in a footrace I would win every time. However, as soon as he’s walking with me in public, he has a compulsion to walk faster.

My DD and I make a point of sustaining the pace we all start at in public and seeing how far ahead he gets before he notices he’s all alone. It’s hilarious and we’re starting to embarrass him out of this behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not wrong. If he can’t understand that someone a foot taller isn’t walking faster but just has a longer stride, then he’s another that bright . Talk to your daughter about what she’s doing.

They both are being rude and considerate. Anyone would notice this and assume they are self centered and out of it or have no manner or sense of social cues. And maybe they don’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I have been married for 47 years, and my husband has always sprinted ahead of me when out in public. I feel like a second class citizen. He is 7 inches taller than I am and very fit. At this point I am unfit. Even at the beginning of our marriage he walked ahead of me. And in a crowded setting, if I was in front of him, he would push my body through the crowd to get through faster. I am going to tell him today how this makes me feel. Suggest that we hold hands.

I have to chime in on this ancient thread. My DH is barely taller than me, and in a footrace I would win every time. However, as soon as he’s walking with me in public, he has a compulsion to walk faster.

My DD and I make a point of sustaining the pace we all start at in public and seeing how far ahead he gets before he notices he’s all alone. It’s hilarious and we’re starting to embarrass him out of this behavior.

We’ve done this many times. My hfa husband just takes off, often passing turns we need or our very destination. It’s sad and funny at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I have a solution walk arm in arm. You’re letting 20 years be the gap between you both. Remember your dating years you probably walked arm in arm that’s why he seemed slower.
I’ve been with my husband 20 years ( same height) and I have to walk arm in arm to slow him down. Otherwise I enjoy the gap and enjoy him chatting with our child.

[Anonymous]

My husband is one inch taller than me, and we’re both in shape. He can be an incredibly quick walker when he wants to be. I mostly don’t mind that because I’m also a fast walker. What annoys me to no end is that, randomly, he’ll switch into slow poke mode and want to amble along at a snail’s pace. He gets mad at me when I tell him its uncomfortable for me to walk at his extremely slow pace. It just makes no sense to randomly switch paces.

[Anonymous]

I’m a fast walker and my husband isn’t due to him having a disability. It drives him nuts and understandably so! But he just accepts it and eventually catches up. Yes, I should set my pace with his so no need to trash me! We actually have a great marriage despite my shortcomings.

[Anonymous]

My husband would usually be the driver. Almost every time that he parked, he would be on the side closer to the store. He then hopped out of the car and started walking while I still had to walk around the car. He would be way ahead of me. So, after that I told him I would wait in the car until he got in the store, or wherever we were going, so I didn’t have to be embarrassed and humiliated walking behind him. Sometimes while shopping, he would spend a long time looking at something and my legs could hardly take it. Also, he would scold me loud enough for others to hear. I would just walk away. If I stopped to look at something, he would just disappear! I would bring an extra key (which angered him) so I could wait in the car. My solution to all of this is I refuse to go shopping with him.

[Anonymous]

I keep a brisk walking pace and don't understand why my tall husband can't/won't keep up. I'm fine with meeting in the middle, but he makes no effort to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down on a bench and wait for him to notice.

+1
I actually do this. It works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the wife. My father used to do this. Now I’m doing it. I’m a fast walker. I try to rein it in but it’s hard.

+1 I'm the wife too. I can't stand going slow. I try to slow down, but it's hard.

+2 woman here too. Slow walkers are in my top 5 annoyances in life. It doesn’t sound like op is picking up her pace either.

So you run off from children too? Or is it just other women you lack impatience for?

[Anonymous]

Your husband is flat out rude. Maybe he doesn’t want to be seen with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would sit down on a bench and wait for him to notice.

+1
I actually do this. It works.

Did not work for me. I had to refuse to go anywhere together for him to start reconsidering. He still forgets. It's like he's by himself when we walk, spend time together, or have sex, even.

[Anonymous]

Until my husband slowed down with age, he wouldn't wait for me either. I've had a cold since Thursday night and it's Sunday and he hasn't even noticed! Everyone else - neighbors, friends, church goers, coworkers - asked me how I was feeling. I've come to the conclusion that his overall EQ is just very low, or may have some kind of social blindness. It's not HFA but maybe disinterest in other people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Until my husband slowed down with age, he wouldn't wait for me either. I've had a cold since Thursday night and it's Sunday and he hasn't even noticed! Everyone else - neighbors, friends, church goers, coworkers - asked me how I was feeling. I've come to the conclusion that his overall EQ is just very low, or may have some kind of social blindness. It's not HFA but maybe disinterest in other people?

Excuses Excuses.
The man you married to and guessing sleep in a bed with every single night has zero clue you’re sick ?

Seriously ?

[Anonymous]

It’s a complete lack of respect. I dated a guy like this once and when I told him it’s annoying and makes me felt shiity, he tried to gaslight me about it. This general disrespect was a good enough reason for me to break up with him and I’m glad I dodged that bullet.

Imagine what it’s like when you first fall in love with someone. If you’re walking somewhere together, you wouldn’t even think about walking ahead. That kind of basic consideration needs to be how you treat people you love all the time. Your kids, your spouse, friends, heck even colleagues.