Moved at the suggestion of my sister, and now she's ditched me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you're depressed, and grieving the end of your relationship. If you can work anywhere, I think the idea of moving somewhere fun is a good one. Or make your own life here.

Yeah you should move somewhere fun. What are your hobbies?

[Anonymous]

Back to school changes parents’ availability. But this is why for 27 years, I have discouraged loved ones from moving here. A friend moved here right after college and six months later lambasted me for not supporting her more.

[Anonymous]

Join a church (one that has many fellowship opportunities which means church members meeting others, so happy hours, dinners, other social events, I’m Episcopalian and we have them for new members, for parents, for under 40, for singles, etc), join your college local alumni/ae group which should also have social activities, look into meet ups, join a team sport, join a larger volunteer organization (JLW, Jaycees, etc) and do an “in placement” to meet more people.

I am sure it’s really hard during Covid, WFH and being single but get out there!!!!! You can do it.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, but you have no sense of boundaries. Teleworking from their house? C’mon.

[Anonymous]

Expecting to work from their house is beyond weird. Beyond. That alone says you have no boundaries and can’t read a room. Focus on developing a life of your own that doesn’t include working in their house. What the hell?

[Anonymous]

If just BIL there during the day, he may find it awkward and intrusive.

IF sister and BIL are there during the work day & the kids are in school, then they might like to have sex on their lunch break.

[Anonymous]

There was the unspoken expectation that you would eventually become independent, OP. Your sister didn't mean "hang out with us forever". She meant "hang out with us while you get back on your feet and then come over occasionally". And it's true that two working parents wrangling school-aged kids can be HECTIC. Seriously draining. I manage well because I stay home, but I see my working friends with several kids, and how they juggling their lives, and it's really tough.

Your family loves you, OP. But they do need some breathing room, as your mother puts it.

[Anonymous]

When you're less upset, you might want to examine whether the same behaviors led to your sister pushing you gently away, and your problems with your ex.

Maybe I'm completely off base. But just a thought...

[Anonymous]

OP what are you into? What kind of work do you do? You need to get out more.

[Anonymous]

You sound like the clingiest person ever. Wow. Even if I was a single childless person, I would not want you around that much.

I have 3 kids and we are really busy. We have sports almost everyday. We hang out as a family. My kids have friends. We have friends.

My single BIL moved to the DC area this summer. DS has a very demanding job and still saw him twice per week and BIL was pissed at DH. I also was getting annoyed that BIL was crowding our lives. Instead of catering to our family, DH was trying to entertain BIL. BIL is dating some girl and seems less needy.

You need your own friends. Offer to babysit. Why do you need to work from home at your sister’s house when your BIL is also working there? Don’t you think that is at all strange??? It also isn’t like your sister is home alone. I guarantee your BIL said something.

My divorced friend had a sister who crowded her marital home. The sister would come and go. She just didn’t know when she was not welcome. She was also newly single and very needy. Think she definitely killed the mood.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you ever invite them over to your place?

You sound like you're suffocating her with being over there everyday. And you're constantly inviting yourself over. I'd be so annoyed.

You've worn out your welcome and you haven't even noticed

[Anonymous]

Invite yourself over to work from home from their house while the BIL is also working from home??!!? In what world do you think this is normal?

You have been here for 5 months. Get on some dating apps. Take some fun gym classes. Get a hobby.

Our friend’s sister also got out of a long relationship and recently moved here. She goes on a different date daily. She works out. She is planning trips with friends. Our friend also told her sister to come to dc for a change of scenery.

[Anonymous]

The only thing is add is that, OP, while your breakup sounds really hard… navigating school and work and parenting for the past 18 months has been pretty close to impossible. Expecting your sister, who is probably at the very end of her rope, to help you is maybe not realistic

[Anonymous]

Sister might not have it in her to have someone else to look after and be responsible for right now. You may be overwhelming her.

[Anonymous]

Your sister does have a family. She has children who depend on her. She needs to take care of them and maintain a relationship with her husband.

Think about your relationship with your ex. How would you like it if his sister/brother was crowding your life, inviting themselves over and invading your personal space.