Moved at the suggestion of my sister, and now she's ditched me

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you're depressed, and grieving the end of your relationship. If you can work anywhere, I think the idea of moving somewhere fun is a good one. Or make your own life here.

[Anonymous]

If you need a workspace with people in it, go to one of those shared workspaces. I wouldn’t want someone in my house All The Time, either.

Make their lives easier, not harder. “Can I come over for dinner” on top of all that working parents do? No. Try, “Do you guys want to come over for pizza,” or “Can I bring a lasagna by on Friday” or something that’s making a contribution, not just using them as your social crutch.

[Anonymous]

So you were miserable in NYC, and now you’re miserable in DC, and that’s on…your sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you were miserable in NYC, and now you’re miserable in DC, and that’s on…your sister?

I wasn't miserable in NYC. I had a great life there for 8-9 years, but then my relationship imploded, office politics became intolerable, etc. I'm not a generally "miserable" person.
But I did move to DC to be near supportive family and, after 3 months, suddenly I feel ghosted by the very reason I moved here: my sister.

[Anonymous]

Wait for them to invite you over. Stop initiating contact for now. Explore as many other interests that you can think of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you need a workspace with people in it, go to one of those shared workspaces. I wouldn’t want someone in my house All The Time, either.

Make their lives easier, not harder. “Can I come over for dinner” on top of all that working parents do? No. Try, “Do you guys want to come over for pizza,” or “Can I bring a lasagna by on Friday” or something that’s making a contribution, not just using them as your social crutch.

My apartment is a small one-bedroom with galley kitchen so I don't usually invite them over. When I come over for dinner -- I bring the food!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you need a workspace with people in it, go to one of those shared workspaces. I wouldn’t want someone in my house All The Time, either.

Make their lives easier, not harder. “Can I come over for dinner” on top of all that working parents do? No. Try, “Do you guys want to come over for pizza,” or “Can I bring a lasagna by on Friday” or something that’s making a contribution, not just using them as your social crutch.

My apartment is a small one-bedroom with galley kitchen so I don't usually invite them over. When I come over for dinner -- I bring the food!!

So let them miss you a little bit. Be less available. Find other things to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you were miserable in NYC, and now you’re miserable in DC, and that’s on…your sister?

I wasn't miserable in NYC. I had a great life there for 8-9 years, but then my relationship imploded, office politics became intolerable, etc. I'm not a generally "miserable" person.
But I did move to DC to be near supportive family and, after 3 months, suddenly I feel ghosted by the very reason I moved here: my sister.

And there it is. You moved here for: your sister.

You didn’t move here for: yourself. You didn’t move here for new opportunities, a change of pace, a fresh start, new adventures. So you put all your eggs in one basket, and that basket is a working parent who has tons going on and can’t be your social life, your reason for being, and your crutch forever.

Move back to NYC and reconnect with your old friends and make a new start there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you were miserable in NYC, and now you’re miserable in DC, and that’s on…your sister?

I wasn't miserable in NYC. I had a great life there for 8-9 years, but then my relationship imploded, office politics became intolerable, etc. I'm not a generally "miserable" person.
But I did move to DC to be near supportive family and, after 3 months, suddenly I feel ghosted by the very reason I moved here: my sister.

You expect more than THREE MONTHS OF SUPPORT from busy, working parents? Like, you had a breakup. OK. The world doesn’t stop. She supported you for a summer, now either pick up the pieces and get yourself together here, or go back to New York and get yourself together there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you were miserable in NYC, and now you’re miserable in DC, and that’s on…your sister?

I wasn't miserable in NYC. I had a great life there for 8-9 years, but then my relationship imploded, office politics became intolerable, etc. I'm not a generally "miserable" person.
But I did move to DC to be near supportive family and, after 3 months, suddenly I feel ghosted by the very reason I moved here: my sister.

You expect more than THREE MONTHS OF SUPPORT from busy, working parents? Like, you had a breakup. OK. The world doesn’t stop. She supported you for a summer, now either pick up the pieces and get yourself together here, or go back to New York and get yourself together there.

People are about as busy as they make their minds up to be. Being a parent doesn't automatically make you busier than a single person. Not the OP but totally believe that, and I have children.

[Anonymous]

Her husband didn’t expect that you would be living with them for months and months. It sounds like your sister didn’t either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her husband didn’t expect that you would be living with them for months and months. It sounds like your sister didn’t either.

She has her own apartment according to the post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you were miserable in NYC, and now you’re miserable in DC, and that’s on…your sister?

I wasn't miserable in NYC. I had a great life there for 8-9 years, but then my relationship imploded, office politics became intolerable, etc. I'm not a generally "miserable" person.
But I did move to DC to be near supportive family and, after 3 months, suddenly I feel ghosted by the very reason I moved here: my sister.

And there it is. You moved here for: your sister.

You didn’t move here for: yourself. You didn’t move here for new opportunities, a change of pace, a fresh start, new adventures. So you put all your eggs in one basket, and that basket is a working parent who has tons going on and can’t be your social life, your reason for being, and your crutch forever.

Move back to NYC and reconnect with your old friends and make a new start there.

You forgot that the sister has a husband. Who has a right to privacy in his own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her husband didn’t expect that you would be living with them for months and months. It sounds like your sister didn’t either.

She has her own apartment according to the post

Driving over there every day, to hang out and even to work while they’re trying to work (!) is living there.

[Anonymous]

So when you go to their place during the week to work from their place instead of yours, is it just you and your BIL there?