Is wife being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this isn’t the point of the thread, but I’m so happy to read people taking offense to the disparity in gifting sums of money! My parents always gift my DH and I a chunk of money to the two of us, and they do the same for my siblings and their spouses. My inlaws, OTOH, gift my DH $500 every year and gift me one fifth of that. Honestly it’s nice to receive something but it’s just incredibly awkward and cringeworthy for them to pass out 3 $500 checks and then give me a $100 check.(DH’ sibling are both single thus far) And everyone opens the envelopes at the same time. I just feel so awkward!! I wish they would skip my $100 check altogether and just address my DH’s envelope to both of us. I’ve never complained about it but I definitely think in my head “how tacky!!!”

You know, I bet your in-laws are actually very sweet people who are thinking "I know DS and Larla can share their check, but it's awkward not acknowledge Larla as a separate person...we should give her a little something too!" Meanwhile they aren't really wanting to gift a full additional $500 just to you b/c their other children might feel like that's pretty unfair that your DH and his wife get $1000 when they "only" get $500.

Family dynamics are weird, but give them a little grace on this one, PP. And maybe consider that they are doing this so as NOT to appear rude and thoughtless, rather than the other way around.

+1
Besides when you open the checks, so you each read the monetary amount? That is weird. How would anyone even know it was a different amount?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this isn’t the point of the thread, but I’m so happy to read people taking offense to the disparity in gifting sums of money! My parents always gift my DH and I a chunk of money to the two of us, and they do the same for my siblings and their spouses. My inlaws, OTOH, gift my DH $500 every year and gift me one fifth of that. Honestly it’s nice to receive something but it’s just incredibly awkward and cringeworthy for them to pass out 3 $500 checks and then give me a $100 check.(DH’ sibling are both single thus far) And everyone opens the envelopes at the same time. I just feel so awkward!! I wish they would skip my $100 check altogether and just address my DH’s envelope to both of us. I’ve never complained about it but I definitely think in my head “how tacky!!!”

Please stop with the “gifting” language! They gave you some money. The amounts aren’t large enough to be within the realm of legal “gifting”.

Thank you. This "gifting" thing is also a pet peeve of mine. I also hate when people say gave/gifted to "DH and I." It's gave to "DH and me." Objective case pronouns, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

Wow, I think traveling internationally by plane with a 4 week old is pretty irresponsible and to be avoided unless it’s absolutely impossible. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard, PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

Wow, I think traveling internationally by plane with a 4 week old is pretty irresponsible and to be avoided unless it’s absolutely impossible. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard, PP.

+1
this was irresponsible. putting your baby at risk so that you can prove you are not a princess is selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

Wow, I think traveling internationally by plane with a 4 week old is pretty irresponsible and to be avoided unless it’s absolutely impossible. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard, PP.

My OB and Pediatrician thought it was fine and so did I. Who are you to question my medical team?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

You should probably read the thread before commenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

You should probably read the thread before commenting.

+1 haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

Wow, I think traveling internationally by plane with a 4 week old is pretty irresponsible and to be avoided unless it’s absolutely impossible. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard, PP.

My OB and Pediatrician thought it was fine and so did I. Who are you to question my medical team?

Who are YOU to question OP’s wife’s decision? I wouldn’t have said anything if your post hadn’t been so smug and self-congratulatory.

PS—I still think your medical team’s decision was shitty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

Wow, I think traveling internationally by plane with a 4 week old is pretty irresponsible and to be avoided unless it’s absolutely impossible. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard, PP.

My OB and Pediatrician thought it was fine and so did I. Who are you to question my medical team?

NP, but because you “can” does not mean you should. You’re basically bragging now, because nothing went wrong. How would you feel had it gone south?

Personally, I had a complication arise at 9 weeks PP. I was really glad to be around my medical team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

That was your choice and a situation that you could handle. Not everybody can handle things like that postpartum.

The day after I gave birth, I walked 3 miles. Day after that I walked 5. It sure as hell doesn’t mean I think everyone needs to do it or else they’re a princess. I know that not everyone can or wants to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

That was your choice and a situation that you could handle. Not everybody can handle things like that postpartum.

The day after I gave birth, I walked 3 miles. Day after that I walked 5. It sure as hell doesn’t mean I think everyone needs to do it or else they’re a princess. I know that not everyone can or wants to.

Wow ?I’m guessing no stitches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

That was your choice and a situation that you could handle. Not everybody can handle things like that postpartum.

The day after I gave birth, I walked 3 miles. Day after that I walked 5. It sure as hell doesn’t mean I think everyone needs to do it or else they’re a princess. I know that not everyone can or wants to.

Wow ?I’m guessing no stitches.

. The ? Was a wow emoji

[Anonymous]

Your family will be too busy to help. Seriously- they have other things going on and that is OK. If you seriously think you will have help take the toddler.

I would not put a six week old with no immunizations on a plane. Pimping and breast feeding in the beginning is SoOOo much work. It took to two months till it felt natural for me. She needs to concentrate on that and maybe getting some sleep.

You can’t predict how she will feel after the birth and people absolutely do not do this all the time. Ugh.

I think she is being generous by suggesting you go and she stays home with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

I travelled on a flight to Europe with two under age 6 and a 4-week old. The difference between me and this PP and OP'a wife is that In have common sense and do not consider myself a hot-house princess.

Yes, OP, your wife is unreasonable. Why doesn't she just stay home and stop making everyone else miserable.

Wow, I think traveling internationally by plane with a 4 week old is pretty irresponsible and to be avoided unless it’s absolutely impossible. Don’t pat yourself on the back too hard, PP.

My OB and Pediatrician thought it was fine and so did I. Who are you to question my medical team?

This is literally how every measles outbreak in this area the past few years has started.