Is wife being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why was the wedding scheduled so close to her due date? It would be bad enough for a 6 week old to be attending a crowded wedding in the same town. Plane rides and hotel rooms are terrible idea. 6 week olds do not have immunizations. Even a light fever means an ER visit for fear of simple viruses causing things like meningitis. Believe me you don’t want to watch nurses trying to poke into those tiny veins to do bloodwork. It is torture.

Your family should have delayed the wedding for at least a couple more weeks. Or they should accept that it is not reasonable for her and the newborn to attend. You’d hoild go with and take care of your 2yo.

This is a good point.

Why didn’t they schedule the wedding a few months after the due date if it was so critical for the baby to be there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Expecting a woman to travel on a three hour flight 6 weeks PP with a toddler and a newborn, while you perform best man duties all weekend, is actually unreasonable.

She, on the other hand is being perfectly reasonable by staying home and encouraging you to go. If you believe you have enough help there, go and take your toddler so she can stay home and recover with the new born.

I also wouldn’t be keen on travelling on a flight that long with a newborn, before they’ve had vaccinations.

+100

Just go on your own. She and the kids do not need to be there. Not that far away that close to birth.

[Anonymous]

I would have no way now of knowing how I would feel 6 weeks after the birth. I know I would have a number of concerns, and it would add pressure. I would be so much more relived now to say it will be too difficult to manage. What if ended up needing C-section? What if there were complications? What if I developed PPD? What if there are feeding issues? I get that getting married is a special event in ones lives that deserves some accommodating. Giving birth to a child is another one of those kind of events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why was the wedding scheduled so close to her due date? It would be bad enough for a 6 week old to be attending a crowded wedding in the same town. Plane rides and hotel rooms are terrible idea. 6 week olds do not have immunizations. Even a light fever means an ER visit for fear of simple viruses causing things like meningitis. Believe me you don’t want to watch nurses trying to poke into those tiny veins to do bloodwork. It is torture.

Your family should have delayed the wedding for at least a couple more weeks. Or they should accept that it is not reasonable for her and the newborn to attend. You’d hoild go with and take care of your 2yo.

This is a good point.

Why didn’t they schedule the wedding a few months after the due date if it was so critical for the baby to be there?

They may have picked the date before OP conceived/announced her pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

I travelled 6 hours to be in a wedding when my second was 6 weeks. It was fine. However, I have since gone with both kids to weddings that my husband is in and it is a ton of work. If you do go, I would suggest having a sitter with your wife at the wedding. You really won’t be able to help much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no way in a million years I would go with a newborn and a 2 year old.

Would you be willing to take the 2 year old all by yourself so your parents can see him?

Let me guess, your best man and that is too much work.




You guys will be divorced in 5 years btw if you keep this bs up.

You sound simple, pp.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that would be unreasonable in this scenario would be if your wife was insisting you not go.

[Anonymous]

If you win on this and she goes, then you lose.

[Anonymous]

Team wife here. My ILs had a wedding anniversary party when I was a few weeks postpartum. It was an hour drive away and I didn’t go. I felt and looked like crap, milk leaking everywhere. I couldn’t fit into my normal clothes much less evening dress. My DH understood and was supportive, he went alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I am surprised everyone is siding with the mom. Barring unexpected complications or some warning from newborn's doctor, I would absolutely assume and expect her to do it for an extremely close family member's wedding.

You would take a 6 week old baby on a germy airplane ride?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you win on this and she goes, then you lose.

This. My Dh and I have been together 20+ years and the only thing we have really argued about was the expectation that we would not only travel for a sibling’s wedding, but that Dh and both of our toddlers would be in the wedding. I wanted to leave the kids at home with the other set of grandparents and enjoy the wedding. Dh felt it was important for our toddlers to be there and rude to decline having them in the wedding. I sucked it up but there was a lot of arguing and I missed several wedding events to stay with sleeping children in our hotel room, and ultimately, I missed the wedding ceremony because I had to remove the kids when one wouldn’t stop talking during the ceremony. A SIL felt obligated to help me with the kids so she missed the ceremony too, to help me wrangle the kids, which made me feel even worse. There was no upside to taking our children. If I’d also been 6 weeks post partum, there’s no way I would have gone.

[Anonymous]

The only sensible solution is for DH to go and take the "almost 2 year old" with him. If his family is offering to help (LOL) then handing an "almost 2 year old" should be easy for him to do.

I think it is pretty valiant of your wife to offer to stay home alone with a toddler and a newborn while you go party and enjoy yourself. A real man would take the toddler with him.

[Anonymous]

This has to be a troll post. I could barely get to the grocery store with a toddler and a 6 week old.

[Anonymous]

Honestly this would be really hard, I mean really hard. If you aren’t bringing someone with you to help (everyone involved in the wedding may say they are available to help but weddings are busy everyone wants to have fun after the novelty of introducing grandkids to the family members your wife will be left alone to handle all the not so fun parts. I think it’s unfair of you to expect this of her. I have no issues with my in laws and wouldn’t do this unless...I had help! When my SIL got married we brought my mom with me. You need someone not involved in the wedding to come to help otherwise it won’t be much help.

[Anonymous]

YOU are being unreasonable.

I would not travel with a 6 week old, period. For health reasons.

I have traveled around the world with older babies and toddlers to go to weddings, and happily so.

A 6 week old? NO.