Is wife being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys seriously don't think this is a troll?

I thought so at the start, but he’s almost too dolt-ish to be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, take your disdain for your wife out. Do you think you brother and future SIL want their best man and the grooms mom babysitting during the biggest day of their lives? You are short changing your brother and don't even see it because you want so badly to hurt your wife and get your way. Let your brother have his mom and best man their for him that day. Not watching a cranky toddler. You should be so thankful your wife is willing to keep both so you can have fun with family!

+1

This struck me as well. OP is making his brother's wedding about him and his child.

Yes! Agree completely. OP you will not even be halfway through the plane ride before you regret it and realize bringing a toddler with you was a mistake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes! This is a perfect example of not being able to "See the forest for the trees". OP is so hell bent on being right and being able to take his toddler just to prove something to his wife (i guess that he is a jerk who puts his mother over her) that he can't see that his brother may likely NOT want this kid at the wedding without the kids mom there to help out.
What groom wants his mom on babysitting duty at his wedding? What bride wants a cranky toddler at the wedding with no designated person in charge of caring for him.
What couple wants their best man not able to drink or participate in pretty much all wedding fun because he had a point to prove to his wife.
Seriously dude. She is giving you a pass to go and have fun with NO kids. My god man. Take it. You look like the biggest chump here trying to prove some point that just isn't worth it.

+1

Not to mention, you will have WAY more fun if you go solo. You'll make yourself miserable and inconvenience everyone else just to make the point that you choose your parents over your wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I feel like you are WILDLY clueless about what having a 2 year old at a family wedding will be like. Are you not going to want to be socializing with your brother / the groomsmen / the other guests from your hometown?? A 2 year old requires literal 24/7 attention when he's awake - and they also need naps and early bedtimes - which means someone has to leave and sit in the room with him. I don't see how you don't know this if you really are such a hands-on parent, but socializing while watching a two year old equals multiple 3-4 minute conversations where you're only half paying attention because you're also constantly keeping one eye on your toddler and making sure he stays right within your orbit. You're constantly being interrupted (or interrupting the other person talking to you to tell your toddler to stay over here or don't touch that or whatever). If you think a 2 year old in a big room of new people is going to just let you hold him for a few hours while you work the room, you're dreaming. It will be an hindrance on your weekend - your primary role will switch from best man to caretaker. Who is going to take care of him during the rehearsal? What about the rehearsal dinner, who is going to sit with him and feed him and entertain him rather than being up at the bar and socializing with everyone else? Who is going to leave the festivities niiiice and early when his bedtime hits and he gets cranky? And hey, if he's anything like my kids he won't sleep too well in a new place so prepare for a nighttime battle and not feeling well rested the next day.

In the morning, I'm guessing all the groomsmen will be getting together to hang out, drink, smoke cigars, have guy time, get ready...not a place a two year old will be welcome. You're going to want to be a part of that fun, and resent having to schedule your day around toddler breakfast and snack time and leaving repeatedly to walk him up and down the hall because he's restless, and then toddler afternoon nap (hard to think this wouldn't interfere with everyone else going to the wedding on time - someone will have to miss something to stay and sit with him. And you absolutely do NOT want him to miss his nap or have a short one...you'll be paying for that alll evening). You'll be bummed having to miss out of half the fun of the "getting ready" part of the day, and here's the thing: when it comes down to it, your mom is going to feel the same way. The bride and mother of the bride and all the bridesmaids will be doing the whole getting ready thing themselves, and she'll likely be there for at least part of it. And even if not, there will be pictures, and she'll be wanting to focus on getting ready herself - does she have a hair r makeup appointment that day? I'd guess yes. She likes the idea of getting to see your son throughout the day, and hang out with him when it's fun / convenient for her...but when it comes to the less fun stuff like someone having to miss out on part of the day, dealing with him having meltdowns or just generally being restless or overstimulated...you're the one on the hook. As it should be.

You also mention that he doesn't really know them - this is not the time to attempt that! He's going to be fussy and just want you, not happily leaping from random cousin to random aunt's arms giggling, as you seem to envision. And all these random female cousins / aunts you've mentioned, whom you seem to assume will just be leaping at the chance to take on a day's work of childcare because they're women ( )? Come on. Yes they'll be excited to see your little guy and interact with him for 5-10 minutes...they'll be all about having a dance with him (if he lets it happen). But being the babysitter for a day?? Lol. No! They're excited for the family wedding, they want to get dressed up and drink and eat and dance and have fun, not have babysitting duty dumped on them. If you tried to do this to me I would walk your kid back to you every time...although I probably wouldn't have to, I'm guessing he will see you and run to you throughout the night. You are being way too blasé in your approach to this.

It almost seems redundant to go on, but like others have said who is transporting him? Who will carry the diaper bag around and change him? Who is going to be responsible for him during the actual ceremony? Will have to be someone who he's somehow willing to sit with, and who is willing to jump up and leave (and miss the wedding) at a moment's notice if he gets upset. Any ideas there? Then we have cocktail hour, appetizers, dinner, speeches, dances, dessert...like I said, if your son is there you will have. Million people coming up to you to say hi there cutie! and interact with him for a minute...but then they'll move on. The actual responsibility for taking care of / watching / entertaining him for the whole night is you. Speaking from experience, you will have more stress than fun. You won't get to let loose and catch up with everyone. That's just how it is.

holy paragraphs, batman!

+1. Didn’t bother reading; it’s too difficult in this format.

This is useful and really contributes to the discussion! So glad you took the time to post and share your genius insight with us. /s

[Anonymous]

Let me speak for all female relative wedding guests out there - if you think I am going to be handed your overtired, out-of-his-element toddler and just say "Sure, I'll watch Joey!", you've got another think coming.

[Anonymous]

maybe op will do what many men think about every aspect of life with a house, spouse, kids: OUTSOURCE.

overpay some strange babysitter $20/hour all weekend, then wonder why your 2 yo is so upset all week.

[Anonymous]

This thread is 30 pages? What's happening here?

[Anonymous]

What's happening?
OP is mansplaining to us about how quickly women recover after childbirth, how unreasonable it is for the wife to not want to travel for a week 6 weeks post partum, how most women would do this and his wife is wrong.

[Anonymous]

I was still bleeding at 6 weeks, recovering from my first bout of mastitis, sleeping in 40 minute increments, etc etc. Don't make your wife go. Take your 2 year old and hire a babysitter for your toddler when you need it. Make sure your wife has family or back up at home if she needs it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's happening?
OP is mansplaining to us about how quickly women recover after childbirth, how unreasonable it is for the wife to not want to travel for a week 6 weeks post partum, how most women would do this and his wife is wrong.

Unfortunately that isn't even the half of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is 30 pages? What's happening here?

A mommy’s boy posted about why he thinks his pregnant wife is wrong and he was exposed as a terrible husband. He’s not much of a man but that’s something he’ll learn in therapy after his wife leaves him for his controlling behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's happening?
OP is mansplaining to us about how quickly women recover after childbirth, how unreasonable it is for the wife to not want to travel for a week 6 weeks post partum, how most women would do this and his wife is wrong.

Unfortunately that isn't even the half of it.

Right you left out how his parents have verbally abused his wife and he continually takes their side over her (including conspiring with grandma so he can travel alone with toddler to his brother's wedding so grandma can have some alone time with the child without mommy there). As recent pp's have pointed out, he has shown no respect for his brother and future sil (he is best man in the wedding) and thinks that he and grandma should be at toddler's beck and call during the wedding instead of focusing on the bride and groom. Meanwhile, there are plenty of other occasions for grandma (and grandpa) to see toddler between now and the wedding in December but that would involve grandparents spending time with op's wife (who they verbally abuse -- and they don't understand why she doesn't like them. Note that said wife is pregnant with op's second child but he would rather make his parents happy than her. I'm sure op's wife isn't perfect (who is) but she must be a saint to put up with all of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is 30 pages? What's happening here?

A mommy’s boy posted about why he thinks his pregnant wife is wrong and he was exposed as a terrible husband. He’s not much of a man but that’s something he’ll learn in therapy after his wife leaves him for his controlling behavior.

Not sure I'd say controlling. The ideas aren't coming from him, he's just parroting things from his mother. I'd say selfish, weak and delusional.

[Anonymous]

New mommy here, just had my third nb and drove 10 hours to florida by myself with a 10 and 11 year old. My NB was five weeks old.

My 90 year old aunt's birthday was the carrot; my favorite aunt at that.

The drive was HARD to say the least. And I was going to see people that I wanted to be around!

Hauling baby everywhere, feeding, diaper changing, checking in on everyone to wash hands... plus she has a skin allergy that causes her to rash up when touching clothes washed with heavy fragrances and dyes...

I had a good time but it was stressful to say the least.

Let wife lead on this and stop projecting your familiy's disdain on her. She just wants to be comfortable after having the child.

Protect your wife first above all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me speak for all female relative wedding guests out there - if you think I am going to be handed your overtired, out-of-his-element toddler and just say "Sure, I'll watch Joey!", you've got another think coming.

THIS!!!! +100000