Any men here who walked away from their families?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

I am just one (there are multiple) posters arguing with you (I'm sure you'd like to think it's just one absent father but I'm a woman and at least some other posters have identified as women as well).

Of course a dad can fight a mom in court for custody. Do you have any idea how much time that can take? It's like you think the dad just calls the court at 2 pm when mom doesn't drop the kids off and by 2:30 he has them. That's not how it works. Some people abuse the system and don't comply with orders. Your black and white way of thinking is unhelpful but just goes to show how small-minded you are. Keep on preaching like you're some sort of feminist and won't apologize for men's bad behavior. No one arguing with you is doing that either. We're just saying you seem to have little grasp on what the world is really like.

Well kids are minors until they are 18. If you stop any time before that, you have given up on your children. That's no one elses fault.

Is your bf or dh one of these loser dead beats or something? Your rabid assertation that men can do nothing wrong and it's always a womans fault is getting bizarre.

I've never said men can do no wrong and it's always a woman's fault. Not once. I'll wait if you want to try to find it somewhere if you want.

You're the one making black and white assertions here, not me or any of the other people (including women) responding to your inane post. I'm happily married to the father of my children, who isn't remotely a deadbeat. But I've also lived enough to know that not everyone lives like me.

Good luck with your anger and your life. I can't help but wonder what someone has done to you.

You constantly post and in reality have no clue. You’ve never been through it.

YOU have never been through it. You're just all up in this thread like you have, trolling and being an antagonistic ass. Take your misogyny somewhere else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

She "can" face legal consequences but likely she won't. Most often the result of a woman ignoring a court order is, you drag her back to court, and the judge issues another court order which she ignores. The judge is not going to award the father custody unless it's an extreme and provable case of the mom being unfit. Very rare.

And when push comes to shove, most ex-husbands are very hesitant to have their ex-wives thrown in jail, because that will traumatize his kids no matter how much his XW deserved it.

None of this happened to you, because this is a crazy scenario. Stop talking mess and start talking facts, if you even have any. You sound paranoid and delusional, not to mention misogynist af.

Of coursed it happened to someone I am close to. Women get a free pass to cheat, hold the kids hostage, etc.

How long did he fight for his kids before giving up? How much effort are - excuse me, were - his children worth to him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men who do that are so in denial that they would never give you a straight answer here. Most won’t even see themselves as having walked away.

This. These are the ones who will swear their crazy wife "turned the kids against him."

My dad walked away (or more accurately, cheated, mom divorced him, we never saw him again).

It is simultaneously true that he was a narcissistic jerk who was in denial about doing anything wrong, and that mom denied him access and turned us against him. (Her rage against him was boundless.)

Both mom and dad were deeply flawed people. As are many people.

Even in this scenario, I would consider your dad walking away. I’ve seen men always blame the ex as a reason why they don’t see the kids, but they almost seem relieved to have a someone to blame that and a socially acceptable reason to go back to being bachelors.

The truth is, that if he had wanted the kids, he would have fought for you. He was only willing to do it if your mom facilitated and supported the father relationship like a wife. Even in the best of circumstances, that does not happen after a divorce.

Yes. I would never trust a man who says “oh, my ex-wife is crazy” then explains his minimal level of custody. If the mom is crazy, get your kids the hell out or step up and at least do 50% custody.

I have only one man I know who is raising his kids at more than 50%. And, within two years he is married to his second wife who is very involved in taking care of his kids/her step-kids.


Men rarely get full custody. You can observe the situation and talk to others. It’s not always the man’s fault. I hope you don’t have boys given how much you hate me.

Hate men.

The sort of sperm donor who has kids he then walks away from isn't a man, he's a selfish, overgrown, immature clown. It's fine to hate clowns.

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone now who has done this but I did when growing up in the 1970s. Many kids my age whose dads moved away after divorce and they never saw them or saw them occasionally and rather randomly--no weekky custody or anything like that. I'm not sure in some cases if they contributed financially at all. Only one remarried and had a whole new family and they then had a gray divorce.

All of these kids had problems and hid them or were notably screwed up or maybe they seemed okay but their siblings acted out. I also knew kids of the third marriage where their older half siblings were a complete mess. I think the idea at that time was that divorce didn't affect kids and everyone would just move on just fine. No one talked about how hard it was. There wasn't even a language for it.

[Anonymous]

Ask this upstanding, salt of the earth father of 4 how that went for him:
https://nypost.com/2025/08/11/us-news/peter-goodwin-of-virginia-cheats-on-wife-with-former-nanny-court-papers/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask this upstanding, salt of the earth father of 4 how that went for him:
https://nypost.com/2025/08/11/us-news/peter-goodwin-of-virginia-cheats-on-wife-with-former-nanny-court-papers/

Omg.

"That same year, Peter hired Lombard to also work for him at his office — and eventually promoted her to a vice president of his company."

A 22 year old nanny.

I wonder what's in the prenup. I hope she (ex) makes out like a bandit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

I am just one (there are multiple) posters arguing with you (I'm sure you'd like to think it's just one absent father but I'm a woman and at least some other posters have identified as women as well).

Of course a dad can fight a mom in court for custody. Do you have any idea how much time that can take? It's like you think the dad just calls the court at 2 pm when mom doesn't drop the kids off and by 2:30 he has them. That's not how it works. Some people abuse the system and don't comply with orders. Your black and white way of thinking is unhelpful but just goes to show how small-minded you are. Keep on preaching like you're some sort of feminist and won't apologize for men's bad behavior. No one arguing with you is doing that either. We're just saying you seem to have little grasp on what the world is really like.

Well kids are minors until they are 18. If you stop any time before that, you have given up on your children. That's no one elses fault.

Is your bf or dh one of these loser dead beats or something? Your rabid assertation that men can do nothing wrong and it's always a womans fault is getting bizarre.

I've never said men can do no wrong and it's always a woman's fault. Not once. I'll wait if you want to try to find it somewhere if you want.

You're the one making black and white assertions here, not me or any of the other people (including women) responding to your inane post. I'm happily married to the father of my children, who isn't remotely a deadbeat. But I've also lived enough to know that not everyone lives like me.

Good luck with your anger and your life. I can't help but wonder what someone has done to you.

Maybe I have experience with dead beats because I had one as a father. Maybe I have experience with children of dead beats because I volunteer with youth of a similar background. Maybe it's also why I advocate for people who want to be CF to be CF. So many people upset that people arent having as many children these days, but at least if they are born to loving parents who WANT to parent, there are less cases like this.

I've seen men fight the system and access their kids. I've seen more men drop off the face of the earth with no explanation.

Well at least you can explain (if not understand) your total bias here. No one has said dead beat dads don't exist. Not a single poster. Many have said there are more nuances to certain situations than you seem capable of grasping so perhaps you should check yourself and your judgment and realize that you don't know everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

She "can" face legal consequences but likely she won't. Most often the result of a woman ignoring a court order is, you drag her back to court, and the judge issues another court order which she ignores. The judge is not going to award the father custody unless it's an extreme and provable case of the mom being unfit. Very rare.

And when push comes to shove, most ex-husbands are very hesitant to have their ex-wives thrown in jail, because that will traumatize his kids no matter how much his XW deserved it.

None of this happened to you, because this is a crazy scenario. Stop talking mess and start talking facts, if you even have any. You sound paranoid and delusional, not to mention misogynist af.

I am not the PP but this is actually not a crazy scenario - I know someone living it right now. The mom is actively keeping the child from the dad. She is making false allegations against him, she pulled the child out of summer camp two weeks early, and has gone so far as to take the kid to another state for a month. Is that kidnapping? Yeah. Do you know how quickly a court does something about that? Not very. And frankly, the dad doesn't want to charge her with it because he cares enough to know that it's not good for their kid if one parent is convicted of a crime (although the mom doesn't feel this way so she's trying to press charges for things she has already said he didn't do). The legal system isn't quick, and when you're talking about an 8-year old, there's not a lot the kid can do to try to reach the dad either. His lawyers have advised him not to try to go get the kid because he needs to let the system work its way through things. I'd like to go kidnap the child myself and deliver her to her dad but obviously I wouldn't do that. You want more facts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

I am just one (there are multiple) posters arguing with you (I'm sure you'd like to think it's just one absent father but I'm a woman and at least some other posters have identified as women as well).

Of course a dad can fight a mom in court for custody. Do you have any idea how much time that can take? It's like you think the dad just calls the court at 2 pm when mom doesn't drop the kids off and by 2:30 he has them. That's not how it works. Some people abuse the system and don't comply with orders. Your black and white way of thinking is unhelpful but just goes to show how small-minded you are. Keep on preaching like you're some sort of feminist and won't apologize for men's bad behavior. No one arguing with you is doing that either. We're just saying you seem to have little grasp on what the world is really like.

Well kids are minors until they are 18. If you stop any time before that, you have given up on your children. That's no one elses fault.

Is your bf or dh one of these loser dead beats or something? Your rabid assertation that men can do nothing wrong and it's always a womans fault is getting bizarre.

I've never said men can do no wrong and it's always a woman's fault. Not once. I'll wait if you want to try to find it somewhere if you want.

You're the one making black and white assertions here, not me or any of the other people (including women) responding to your inane post. I'm happily married to the father of my children, who isn't remotely a deadbeat. But I've also lived enough to know that not everyone lives like me.

Good luck with your anger and your life. I can't help but wonder what someone has done to you.

You constantly post and in reality have no clue. You’ve never been through it.

I'm not constantly posting - there are many of us who disagree with you. Get that through your head.

And I am literally going through this right now with a friend. I'm sorry for whatever happened to you to make you the way you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am just one (there are multiple) posters arguing with you (I'm sure you'd like to think it's just one absent father but I'm a woman and at least some other posters have identified as women as well).

Of course a dad can fight a mom in court for custody. Do you have any idea how much time that can take? It's like you think the dad just calls the court at 2 pm when mom doesn't drop the kids off and by 2:30 he has them. That's not how it works. Some people abuse the system and don't comply with orders. Your black and white way of thinking is unhelpful but just goes to show how small-minded you are. Keep on preaching like you're some sort of feminist and won't apologize for men's bad behavior. No one arguing with you is doing that either. We're just saying you seem to have little grasp on what the world is really like.

Well kids are minors until they are 18. If you stop any time before that, you have given up on your children. That's no one elses fault.

Is your bf or dh one of these loser dead beats or something? Your rabid assertation that men can do nothing wrong and it's always a womans fault is getting bizarre.

NP and a woman. I don't think the poster who replied is making any rabid assertions and agree that you seem to be extremely uninformed about how legal challenges work in divorce and custody cases. It can take YEARS of a parent going back to court for contempt filings before anything actually happens. I have witnessed the process with my old neighbor and it's brutal - custody, child support, etc. has all been drawn out for years.

Uninformed, hardly. You just dont like to accept reality.

Yes, it can take years. Aren't your children worth that? If you have children, go look them in the eye, and tell them how long it would take for you to give up on them. If your love is conditional, you are not a good parent. Full stop.

What do you think the courts will do about it? If you don’t have access what do you do?

The courts will fine or hold her in contempt of court or adjust custody. It's clear you haven't done even a cursory google search on this and are just talking BS.

Ha, well some of us don't have to google this to find out how it work - we have actually lived it. But congrats on your internet JD. It must come in handy a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask this upstanding, salt of the earth father of 4 how that went for him:
https://nypost.com/2025/08/11/us-news/peter-goodwin-of-virginia-cheats-on-wife-with-former-nanny-court-papers/

Wow. I would love a copy of these court papers. It sounds like they are public. Anyone know where to find them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

She "can" face legal consequences but likely she won't. Most often the result of a woman ignoring a court order is, you drag her back to court, and the judge issues another court order which she ignores. The judge is not going to award the father custody unless it's an extreme and provable case of the mom being unfit. Very rare.

And when push comes to shove, most ex-husbands are very hesitant to have their ex-wives thrown in jail, because that will traumatize his kids no matter how much his XW deserved it.

None of this happened to you, because this is a crazy scenario. Stop talking mess and start talking facts, if you even have any. You sound paranoid and delusional, not to mention misogynist af.

Of coursed it happened to someone I am close to. Women get a free pass to cheat, hold the kids hostage, etc.

How long did he fight for his kids before giving up? How much effort are - excuse me, were - his children worth to him?

People keep saying this in this thread. It shows you have no clue whatsoever about how the court system works, and no experience with custody fights against a rageful ex. So naturally you default to "men bad". Just shut up already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

She "can" face legal consequences but likely she won't. Most often the result of a woman ignoring a court order is, you drag her back to court, and the judge issues another court order which she ignores. The judge is not going to award the father custody unless it's an extreme and provable case of the mom being unfit. Very rare.

And when push comes to shove, most ex-husbands are very hesitant to have their ex-wives thrown in jail, because that will traumatize his kids no matter how much his XW deserved it.

None of this happened to you, because this is a crazy scenario. Stop talking mess and start talking facts, if you even have any. You sound paranoid and delusional, not to mention misogynist af.

I am not the PP but this is actually not a crazy scenario - I know someone living it right now. The mom is actively keeping the child from the dad. She is making false allegations against him, she pulled the child out of summer camp two weeks early, and has gone so far as to take the kid to another state for a month. Is that kidnapping? Yeah. Do you know how quickly a court does something about that? Not very. And frankly, the dad doesn't want to charge her with it because he cares enough to know that it's not good for their kid if one parent is convicted of a crime (although the mom doesn't feel this way so she's trying to press charges for things she has already said he didn't do). The legal system isn't quick, and when you're talking about an 8-year old, there's not a lot the kid can do to try to reach the dad either. His lawyers have advised him not to try to go get the kid because he needs to let the system work its way through things. I'd like to go kidnap the child myself and deliver her to her dad but obviously I wouldn't do that. You want more facts?

Secondhand "facts" from the guy who doesn't want to make a case about it, but wants to tell you, whoever you are to him? Nah. Victimese isn't facts, bro. It's not "kidnapping" to take your own kid out of state. If there's a custody order that says something about notice/consent to travel, then there's a path of legal recourse for addressing the issue. "It'll take too long" is a cheap excuse.

Y'all sound overly dramatic for people sitting around doing literally nothing about the situation. And no, his lawyers didn't advise him to not file a contempt proceeding if that was an applicable route. Maybe it's not an applicable route. Maybe get the actual facts before you come in hot like you've got a case. You sound mental; I can see why she feels the need to get herself and her kid away from you. And if you're not doing all you legally can to try to get the kid back, well, you're alienating yourself. "I didn't want to file a contempt proceeding because the legal system isn't quick, son". Hokay. That's your choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

She "can" face legal consequences but likely she won't. Most often the result of a woman ignoring a court order is, you drag her back to court, and the judge issues another court order which she ignores. The judge is not going to award the father custody unless it's an extreme and provable case of the mom being unfit. Very rare.

And when push comes to shove, most ex-husbands are very hesitant to have their ex-wives thrown in jail, because that will traumatize his kids no matter how much his XW deserved it.

None of this happened to you, because this is a crazy scenario. Stop talking mess and start talking facts, if you even have any. You sound paranoid and delusional, not to mention misogynist af.

Of coursed it happened to someone I am close to. Women get a free pass to cheat, hold the kids hostage, etc.

How long did he fight for his kids before giving up? How much effort are - excuse me, were - his children worth to him?

People keep saying this in this thread. It shows you have no clue whatsoever about how the court system works, and no experience with custody fights against a rageful ex. So naturally you default to "men bad". Just shut up already.

Quit whining about "how the court system works" when you're not using it because you assume you know how the court system works. I went through a custody fight with a rageful ex. It wasn't fun, but it worked out just fine. Sorry you're too lazy to try harder, and have chosen instead to lash out at women in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, this just shows how little how you or the men in your life care about their kids.

"What Happens if a Mother Refuses Access?
If there’s a court order granting visitation and the mother refuses to comply, she could face legal consequences. The father can go back to court and file a motion to enforce visitation. If she continues to block access, she could be found in contempt of court, which might lead to fines or other penalties. In some cases, a judge could even modify custody arrangements in favor of the father."

So instead of whining and complaining about their ex on the internet, they could have been doing the work and getting even more custody. Oh wait, it's working exactly as planned because these men didn't even want custody in the first place.

I am just one (there are multiple) posters arguing with you (I'm sure you'd like to think it's just one absent father but I'm a woman and at least some other posters have identified as women as well).

Of course a dad can fight a mom in court for custody. Do you have any idea how much time that can take? It's like you think the dad just calls the court at 2 pm when mom doesn't drop the kids off and by 2:30 he has them. That's not how it works. Some people abuse the system and don't comply with orders. Your black and white way of thinking is unhelpful but just goes to show how small-minded you are. Keep on preaching like you're some sort of feminist and won't apologize for men's bad behavior. No one arguing with you is doing that either. We're just saying you seem to have little grasp on what the world is really like.

Well kids are minors until they are 18. If you stop any time before that, you have given up on your children. That's no one elses fault.

Is your bf or dh one of these loser dead beats or something? Your rabid assertation that men can do nothing wrong and it's always a womans fault is getting bizarre.

I've never said men can do no wrong and it's always a woman's fault. Not once. I'll wait if you want to try to find it somewhere if you want.

You're the one making black and white assertions here, not me or any of the other people (including women) responding to your inane post. I'm happily married to the father of my children, who isn't remotely a deadbeat. But I've also lived enough to know that not everyone lives like me.

Good luck with your anger and your life. I can't help but wonder what someone has done to you.

Maybe I have experience with dead beats because I had one as a father. Maybe I have experience with children of dead beats because I volunteer with youth of a similar background. Maybe it's also why I advocate for people who want to be CF to be CF. So many people upset that people arent having as many children these days, but at least if they are born to loving parents who WANT to parent, there are less cases like this.

I've seen men fight the system and access their kids. I've seen more men drop off the face of the earth with no explanation.

Well at least you can explain (if not understand) your total bias here. No one has said dead beat dads don't exist. Not a single poster. Many have said there are more nuances to certain situations than you seem capable of grasping so perhaps you should check yourself and your judgment and realize that you don't know everything.

"Well, see, there was nuance, son." Yeah, that'll go over great when your kid asks why you weren't around.