Spouse Lets DD Ghost My Mother

[Anonymous]

This thread is even more unhinged than usual

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's how this plays out in real life.

Grandma will leave a bunch of money to the grandson but not the grand daughter. The grand daughter, being the spoiled little brat she is, will then make a huge show out of being 'wronged' and the mom will support her, again. And OP will grow to hate both of them and likely become estranged from the daughter.

I've seen college kids lose tuition for lesser things.

Mom and DD are dumb.

So your solution is: suck up to granny for the money? It's not about those "family values" after all, eh? How positively Trumpian.

The DD in this story you're spinning has [/b]way more integrity than you do[b]. I suspect she'll be okay, no matter what her a-hole family members try to pull.

Imagine thinking this was a flex

Yeah, the teenage brat skipping a call with her elderly grandma has integrity. Thanks for the laugh, clown!

Can't follow the thread, eh? It's literally quoted for you in that little box at the top left...

Clown yourself, if you like. This was never about me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

People have to be good humans. Then, people want to visit you.

It's not your spouse's job to make your kid talk to your mom. If you are going to force someone to do something, don't pawn that off on your wife.

You can't scare me with the assisted living. I've been supporting and visiting family members in those places longer than you have. Currently, the parent in AL has the depends, the bed pads that keep poop off the sheets, and so on because of me. I buy all that.

So take your scare tactics somewhere else. They won't work with me. I've sat with many a dying relative until the bitter end. Never minded doing it for the nice ones.

BS!!!!!! No way you do any of that and so adamantly oppose a 5 min phone call.

Learn that "it's just..." is a manipulation tactic. "it's just a 5 min phone call" No, it's a call the kid said she didn't want to make.

Instead of steamrolling her, try to understand why. Whining that "it's just..." is a weak person's trick.

I know, honey. Life is so hard for your generation. Everyone is either a narcissist or a manipulator or controlling. You were all abused and mistreated. No one ever lifted a finger for you. It's like you're completely incapable of having an independent thought.

You can't even hold space for the PP's point without barfing out these generational tropes and stereotypes.

That's a you problem. Get help with it, if needed.

Because you are the poster child of your generation. Perhaps try to be a little more thoughtful and less of a cliché and then you won't feel so called out by the "older generation."

For funsies, since you're making these assumptions about me: what generation am I?

A lot of y'all make up whole characters to hate on this forum. I find it hard to believe that your projections and strawmanning stops here.

Why, so you could come back and say "you're so wrong!" and we will just have to take your word for it? It's plainly obvious what generation you are. Take that however you will.

DP, but I knew you wouldn't answer. Because you can't. You're a sad little prick.

Awww are you from the same generation and your feelings got hurt too when I called you out?

DP - This is the problem with the "older generation" (your scare quotes, not mine) borrowing the language of the youth. This isn't a call out, hon. This is you telling on yourself. They are not the same.

Of course, it is, hon. You are having to defend PP because you're the same.

This is the weakest, most frail comeback. Particularly from someone who started some, got called out, and tucked tail and ran w/o backing up their bs.

Cheap sauce. No wonder you're on a thread about pressuring the youth to stay in touch with old and decrepit, like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

My dad died when I was 8. I've missed him, daily, for 36 years. You can kindly, STFU. I would strongly recommend keeping thoughts like this to yourself. There are lots and lots of people like me out there.

DP here. That's nice. My dad is in his 70's, still healthy. Travels multiple times a year to see a good friend of his. Never visits me or his grandkids two hours away. Last time we visited we stayed with my Aunt and he stopped by for an hour max. He hadn't seen his grandchildren in a year. He texts me twice a year on my birthday and Christmas.

Well, my dad loved me.

But he didn’t have a chance to teach you manners apparently.

Rich, coming from a person who writes "That's nice" in response to PP saying she lost her dad at 8.

+1

To be fair, I'd rather lose a dad that loved me than have one that never did.

To be fair, I thought my dad loved me when I was 8 too. If that was frozen in time for me, I’m sure I’d still think it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like this is all about your mother's needs and not the needs of your child.

How long have you prioritized your mother's needs and desires over those of your own family?

Someday you will be sitting in assisted living miserably wondering why your kids and grandkids never visit or call you. Think about this post then. And ring for the caregiver to change your Depends, but as usual she takes her time about showing up.

People have to be good humans. Then, people want to visit you.

It's not your spouse's job to make your kid talk to your mom. If you are going to force someone to do something, don't pawn that off on your wife.

You can't scare me with the assisted living. I've been supporting and visiting family members in those places longer than you have. Currently, the parent in AL has the depends, the bed pads that keep poop off the sheets, and so on because of me. I buy all that.

So take your scare tactics somewhere else. They won't work with me. I've sat with many a dying relative until the bitter end. Never minded doing it for the nice ones.

BS!!!!!! No way you do any of that and so adamantly oppose a 5 min phone call.

Learn that "it's just..." is a manipulation tactic. "it's just a 5 min phone call" No, it's a call the kid said she didn't want to make.

Instead of steamrolling her, try to understand why. Whining that "it's just..." is a weak person's trick.

I know, honey. Life is so hard for your generation. Everyone is either a narcissist or a manipulator or controlling. You were all abused and mistreated. No one ever lifted a finger for you. It's like you're completely incapable of having an independent thought.

You can't even hold space for the PP's point without barfing out these generational tropes and stereotypes.

That's a you problem. Get help with it, if needed.

Because you are the poster child of your generation. Perhaps try to be a little more thoughtful and less of a cliché and then you won't feel so called out by the "older generation."

For funsies, since you're making these assumptions about me: what generation am I?

A lot of y'all make up whole characters to hate on this forum. I find it hard to believe that your projections and strawmanning stops here.

Why, so you could come back and say "you're so wrong!" and we will just have to take your word for it? It's plainly obvious what generation you are. Take that however you will.

DP, but I knew you wouldn't answer. Because you can't. You're a sad little prick.

Awww are you from the same generation and your feelings got hurt too when I called you out?

DP - This is the problem with the "older generation" (your scare quotes, not mine) borrowing the language of the youth. This isn't a call out, hon. This is you telling on yourself. They are not the same.

Of course, it is, hon. You are having to defend PP because you're the same.

This is the weakest, most frail comeback. Particularly from someone who started some, got called out, and tucked tail and ran w/o backing up their bs.

Cheap sauce. No wonder you're on a thread about pressuring the youth to stay in touch with old and decrepit, like you.

Oh the irony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my child that it's not worth complaining about something for 10 minutes when the task itself would have taken 2.

Some of you really didn't learn that lesson. Talking to grandma is important, it takes 5 minutes, it's good for DD. If nothing, it's a lesson that in life we don't always just get to do stuff that we love to do. But her mom, like so many of you would rather make it an hour-long task to avoid grandma and jeopardize her marriage in the process.

Perhaps OP's wife is holding as much contempt for him as he is for her. I do think that he should take this on himself and make sure DD is there when grandma calls.

Maybe teach your child that it's not worth going to war with your family just to control every detail and always get your way?

Talking to grandma isn't important. Everyone will live if this never happens again. It's not good for dd, inherently, and it's definitely not good for DD if you have to brute force her into doing it.

Trust, living with AHs like these, she already knows the "we don't always just get to do stuff that we love to do" bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

Not to mention that many (straight) girls pattern their future relationship on how they were treated by their dads...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my child that it's not worth complaining about something for 10 minutes when the task itself would have taken 2.

Some of you really didn't learn that lesson. Talking to grandma is important, it takes 5 minutes, it's good for DD. If nothing, it's a lesson that in life we don't always just get to do stuff that we love to do. But her mom, like so many of you would rather make it an hour-long task to avoid grandma and jeopardize her marriage in the process.

Perhaps OP's wife is holding as much contempt for him as he is for her. I do think that he should take this on himself and make sure DD is there when grandma calls.

Maybe teach your child that it's not worth going to war with your family just to control every detail and always get your way?

Talking to grandma isn't important. Everyone will live if this never happens again. It's not good for dd, inherently, and it's definitely not good for DD if you have to brute force her into doing it.

Trust, living with AHs like these, she already knows the "we don't always just get to do stuff that we love to do" bit.

Of course talking to grandma IS important. In my house it's very important. I bring my child up to be kind and loving toward elderly relatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bonkers.

It's really not. It's 35 people saying:

"make the little brat learn to be a responsible, polite, adult by chatting with a lonely old woman for 5 minutes"

and 2 people saying:

"YOU ARE LITERALLY RAPING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER YOU EFFING NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We all know who the true AHs are.

Bro, it's 3-5 people saying "make the little brat", one of whom is OP, sockpuppeting the FSCK out of this thread

and then about 15-20 people dropping their own stories onto the thread, as examples, and being immediately and forcefully screamed down by the 3-5 who insist on blaming the CHILD in this situation.

And then, like, 1 or 2 trolls who tried to make it about rape, nazis, and diapers. Because it's DCUM.

But yeah, the AHs are easy to spot. They're the ones trying to strongarm a kid to please the whims and wants of a bratty adult or two (definitely OP, probably also the gran)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP complained about appointments getting in the way. This suggests something like a standing 1pm Saturday call with Grandma. And OP is angry that things like doctors appointments, haircuts, birthdays getting in the way. I think it is nuts to expect the world to stop in the middle of the day for a casual call. I am with the wife.

The polite thing is for DD to text grandma back with a good time to talk. You don’t leave grandma hanging if she thinks you are calling at a certain time. Again, how do you people exist in the world without basic social skills.

"basic social skills" do not require you to return every call, or make every call someone would like you to make.

Wow. If there is a group text where grandma says let’s talk at 1 pm, yes, DD should acknowledge her grandmother and respond one way or another. Yes, this is basic social skills. It’s a wonder how some of you have relationships and jobs.

Yes, but it's not a summons.

pathetic. I never said DD had to speak to grandma at the appointments hour. I said she shouldn’t leave grandma hanging thinking there is a call. Looking all of you tying to defend this BS.

Nah, DAD shouldn't leave his mother hanging, thinking there's a call. If anyone owes her a call (and I don't even agree with that), it's him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Mother is 81, lives alone and has 4 grandkids. Two from me and two from my brother. In addition to our DD, we have a DS. My mother likes weekly calls/face time with them. My son participates happily but my daughter is 'annoyed' by the calls and tries to skip them. I don't allow her to skip them, but my wife does. She'll go so far as to 'forget' to be home with my DD while running errands, schedule conflicting appointments, etc. She will happily 'defend' my DD's objections when I challenge her non participation. Basically, she is complicit and I am irrationally angry over this. Am I wrong?

Grandma and mom doesn't get along and DD stands with her own mother not yours? Your irrational anger towards her mother would ruin your relationship with your own daughter.

This. Pay attention, OP. Your relationship with your kid is gonna be around a lot longer than your relationship with your mom.

DD will need her dad a lot more than he needs her in the next 10 years. The wife is a fool for not seeing this. Stand offs like this are how estrangements begin. Hope the little brat is ready for a life without a dad.

Millions of kids grow up without a dad. Millions of kids grow up without grandparents. It’s not some sort of death sentence. And op should care about maintaining a relationship with his daughter as she ages, seems like she is fine hanging with her mom so he’s going to get pushed to the side pretty quick unless HE puts in some effort.

My dad died when I was 8. I've missed him, daily, for 36 years. You can kindly, STFU. I would strongly recommend keeping thoughts like this to yourself. There are lots and lots of people like me out there.

DP here. That's nice. My dad is in his 70's, still healthy. Travels multiple times a year to see a good friend of his. Never visits me or his grandkids two hours away. Last time we visited we stayed with my Aunt and he stopped by for an hour max. He hadn't seen his grandchildren in a year. He texts me twice a year on my birthday and Christmas.

Well, my dad loved me.

But he didn’t have a chance to teach you manners apparently.

Rich, coming from a person who writes "That's nice" in response to PP saying she lost her dad at 8.

+1

To be fair, I'd rather lose a dad that loved me than have one that never did.

To be fair, I thought my dad loved me when I was 8 too. If that was frozen in time for me, I’m sure I’d still think it too.

It's not surprising a moron like you can't employ deductive reasoning, but here it is spelled out:

knowing that at a point in time your dad loves you > knowing your whole life that your dad doesn't give a f about you.

Is it rude to say I understand why he doesn't even like you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If Grandma or Dad's disdain for the teenager is anything like the comments on this thread, I can totally understand why she would want nothing to do with either of them.

Dad is all up in this thread, so I think you're spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If Grandma or Dad's disdain for the teenager is anything like the comments on this thread, I can totally understand why she would want nothing to do with either of them.

Literally nowhere was any disdain shown for the girl. Stop making shit up.

She's been called a brat dozens of times, and the wife was called a c*nt for not participating in the madness.

Follow the thread.

[Anonymous]

I would push it with your daughter because it teaches her compassion, the sense of minimal duty and obligation to family, treating others how you would like to be treated, and doing kindness for people even if it costs you a little bit of something. Your daughter lacks empathy and imagination if she can’t understand that a five minute phone call means so much to her grandmother and doesn’t really take much away from her own life. I get that teens do not always like people who are old and frail, but here she should just figure out a way to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is bonkers.

It's really not. It's 35 people saying:

"make the little brat learn to be a responsible, polite, adult by chatting with a lonely old woman for 5 minutes"

and 2 people saying:

"YOU ARE LITERALLY RAPING YOUR OWN DAUGHTER YOU EFFING NAZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

We all know who the true AHs are.

Bro, it's 3-5 people saying "make the little brat", one of whom is OP, sockpuppeting the FSCK out of this thread

and then about 15-20 people dropping their own stories onto the thread, as examples, and being immediately and forcefully screamed down by the 3-5 who insist on blaming the CHILD in this situation.

And then, like, 1 or 2 trolls who tried to make it about rape, nazis, and diapers. Because it's DCUM.

But yeah, the AHs are easy to spot. They're the ones trying to strongarm a kid to please the whims and wants of a bratty adult or two (definitely OP, probably also the gran)

Wanna bet? When this gets briefed in Jeff's round up tomorrow, I guarantee he'll mention how the posts sh*tting on OP and big upping the daughter came from the same 2 or 3 people. Watch. It's obvious af.