For those of you whose parents divorced when you were 20+, if one of your parents started a second

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many self centered people here. Me me me.... My reduced share of money, my reduced quality of time with dad, and my kids' reduced share of money from grandpa...

You are not entitled to anything. How about your father's life and happiness? You father has done his share of taking care of you. Are you going to take care of your father when he needs care?

Me me me

Why are 2nd wives do selfish.

Denying him time with his kids fishing and golfing and spending weekends at sports events.

How about his happiness? Instead he’s changing diapers and watching kids lol v shoes. So sad.

Why do you need a man to support you, support yourself.

Yes adults take care of their parents when they need care, you seriously over estimate your mental and physical ability as an old woman. Your ability to move a man from bed to chair with your frail 70 yo body.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter as you are grown? I am the second wife. We have kids and they are 20 years from the youngest and no big deal. Kids were adults so it did not impact their lives.

Says the second wife. WHo are you to tell the original children they should be impacted by their parent creating a whole new family 20 plus years later.

[Anonymous]

The father is an adult, he made his choice. One 2nd wife may have some issues, but you can't generalize it to all the 2nd wives. Some are working hard and trying to have good relationships with husband's adult children. Do the adult children make efforts to have better relationships?

[Anonymous]

So there are people that think none of somebody's time or resources should go to their children after they are 20?

But all his time and resources should go to them and their kids? WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Older men who run out and start a second family are utter morons. We have a few friends who are the 2nd wife/mother and the level of delusion is unreal. Strained relations with the older kids, etc. I’d say in nearly all the cases the husbands are wealthy executives. The worst are guy where the kids are in college or beyond, then start over again with new babies. Wtf!

Those friends are now starting to go thru the divorce process. The first one just popped up out of nowhere, but I suspect we will see more.

I have two young kids now. I can’t even begin to imagine starting another family in my 50s, even with tons of money. I’m already tired and stretched for time now. I can’t even imagine being a 60 year old dad at Little League. WTF.

-Married dad in his 40s

You realize sometimes the wives cheat and leave for their ap so the dads have no say. Nothing wrong with more kids.

Yes, there is a lot wrong with having more kids. And men certainly have a say in that.

So, mom can move on and be with someone else and have more kids but dad should stay single and never have more kids to cater to his ex who cheated on him? There is nothing wrong with having more kids. Most married couples have more than one child.

Nobody is saying they can’t marry again, just that they shouldn’t have more kids. Mom CAN’T have more kids if she’s 40+, and dad is fully in control to choose not to as well. It’s not about “catering to his ex,” it’s about respect for his adult kids. Nobody has to “stay single.”

Yes, there is a lot wrong with having more kids.

Mom absolutely can have more kids. Nothing wrong with more kids.

Do you know any 45 year old women giving birth?

Sure. I could have done it myself if I had wanted another kid.

Good luck with that. Let us know how it goes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My SIL's father had a second family. Up and left them with their alcoholic mom. So they had 2 terrible parents.

He married some young girl, had 2 kids, sent them to private school and paid for their college.

My SIL's brother sued his dad in court for child support and college cost. He got a nice settlement and put a down payment on his house. Needless to say the 2nd wife has banned him from seeing his dad ever again.

My SIL wouldn't sue because she couldn't even stand to see his face in court.

Men can be such a wuss or the puss.

So, kid lied, never went to college and bought a house. You are not entitled to college so this is doubtful.

No he paid for college and had loans.

This makes no sense. Why did mom not pay?

She was an alcoholic on welfare. Can you not read?

The son got child support the father never paid for 15 years (he left when he was 3) all the money for college. Child support is money that goes to the child, he never paid so he was legally obligated to pay that. The father showed by how he treated his 2nd family that he believed a father should pay for college, that evidence had the judge rule… 15 years of child support and the same level of support for the college years (which was 100%) he’s lucky he got in state at UVA. That is what he paid for his 2nd set of children. Of course they went to fancy private colleges but he just got cost of going to UVA.

You mean, my husband allowed his children to be raised by an alcoholic. Right? Your wonderful husband who is such a good father?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The father is an adult, he made his choice. One 2nd wife may have some issues, but you can't generalize it to all the 2nd wives. Some are working hard and trying to have good relationships with husband's adult children. Do the adult children make efforts to have better relationships?

The adult children don't want the relationship! You can't waltz in, take away a lot of their time with their father, and then tell them they aren't trying hard enough. You did this to them, you earn the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does it matter as you are grown? I am the second wife. We have kids and they are 20 years from the youngest and no big deal. Kids were adults so it did not impact their lives.

Wow. I hope he divorces you someday and you will see your error.

Sorry but what did she say that warrants that nasty response from you. Also second wife here. 18 year age gap between SD and my kids. She acts like they do not exist. Don't be an a*$hole like her. Make an effort

And I am sure you treat his original kids the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The father is an adult, he made his choice. One 2nd wife may have some issues, but you can't generalize it to all the 2nd wives. Some are working hard and trying to have good relationships with husband's adult children. Do the adult children make efforts to have better relationships?

The adult children don't want the relationship! You can't waltz in, take away a lot of their time with their father, and then tell them they aren't trying hard enough. You did this to them, you earn the relationship.

The adult children don't want the relationship, that is fair. Then how come the adult children want their dad's money? You are still selfish when the adult children don't want the relationship. Your father spent his time and money raising you. He could have you adopted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty clear that the second wife always feels threatened by the idea that she's replaceable and their kids mean nothing to him (as evidenced by the guys past).

I say this as someone whose witnessed military men literally just dump their kids and go to wife #2 for more kids. They are total POS and the wives that encourage them to never see their other kids are also, again, just burying their heads in the sand as though it won't happen to them too. Once a scumbag, always a scumbag.

Who hurt you... did your husband realise you are drain and replace you and your moron kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many self centered people here. Me me me.... My reduced share of money, my reduced quality of time with dad, and my kids' reduced share of money from grandpa...

You are not entitled to anything. How about your father's life and happiness? You father has done his share of taking care of you. Are you going to take care of your father when he needs care?

If step parent would accept my help, I would help. Step parent gate keeps access to parent so. We are shut out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The father is an adult, he made his choice. One 2nd wife may have some issues, but you can't generalize it to all the 2nd wives. Some are working hard and trying to have good relationships with husband's adult children. Do the adult children make efforts to have better relationships?

The adult children don't want the relationship! You can't waltz in, take away a lot of their time with their father, and then tell them they aren't trying hard enough. You did this to them, you earn the relationship.

The adult children don't want the relationship, that is fair. Then how come the adult children want their dad's money? You are still selfish when the adult children don't want the relationship. Your father spent his time and money raising you. He could have you adopted.

Huh? I don't want the money, I actually am wealthier than my father is already. I want the relationship with my father, but I don't want the relationship with his new wife and her spoiled kids. I want the relationship I *could have had* with my father if he had chosen differently. But he didn't.

The way he treats me as an adult, by the way, is the way he's going to treat your children when they are adults-- if he lives that long. Think about what you want for your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many self centered people here. Me me me.... My reduced share of money, my reduced quality of time with dad, and my kids' reduced share of money from grandpa...

You are not entitled to anything. How about your father's life and happiness? You father has done his share of taking care of you. Are you going to take care of your father when he needs care?

If step parent would accept my help, I would help. Step parent gate keeps access to parent so. We are shut out.

If that is the case, make efforts with your father or mother, not the step parent. I am sure most biological father or mother will be more than happy to have a good relationship with you. In the end, he/she will give your fair share of money, because of your efforts and good relationship, not just you are the biological child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many self centered people here. Me me me.... My reduced share of money, my reduced quality of time with dad, and my kids' reduced share of money from grandpa...

You are not entitled to anything. How about your father's life and happiness? You father has done his share of taking care of you. Are you going to take care of your father when he needs care?

If step parent would accept my help, I would help. Step parent gate keeps access to parent so. We are shut out.

If that is the case, make efforts with your father or mother, not the step parent. I am sure most biological father or mother will be more than happy to have a good relationship with you. In the end, he/she will give your fair share of money, because of your efforts and good relationship, not just you are the biological child.

This problem tends to come up when the bio parent is too old or too unwell to do anything but defer to their spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The father is an adult, he made his choice. One 2nd wife may have some issues, but you can't generalize it to all the 2nd wives. Some are working hard and trying to have good relationships with husband's adult children. Do the adult children make efforts to have better relationships?

The adult children don't want the relationship! You can't waltz in, take away a lot of their time with their father, and then tell them they aren't trying hard enough. You did this to them, you earn the relationship.

The adult children don't want the relationship, that is fair. Then how come the adult children want their dad's money? You are still selfish when the adult children don't want the relationship. Your father spent his time and money raising you. He could have you adopted.

Huh? I don't want the money, I actually am wealthier than my father is already. I want the relationship with my father, but I don't want the relationship with his new wife and her spoiled kids. I want the relationship I *could have had* with my father if he had chosen differently. But he didn't.

The way he treats me as an adult, by the way, is the way he's going to treat your children when they are adults-- if he lives that long. Think about what you want for your children.

Majority of the adult children here worried about their inheritance. For you, is it you are the one that dose not want a relationship with your father? I think your father will be more than happy to have a good relationship with you.

Again, you are selfish if you are the one that does not want the relationship. Your father raised you, and he has the rights to pursuer his happiness after you are an adult.