Why so much disgust felt towards men for dating significantly younger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Another perspective. Feel free to hate.

I am in my early/mid 50s. Went to an Ivy. Very successful. Am in good shape and good looking for my age. I am dating a 30 year old who has two kids, and is beautiful and was a physics major in college.

She isn’t dating me for money per se - she is dating me because I am a member of the upper class of this country. I’m smarter and more worldly than the guys she could date her age. I ski instead of snowboard and I have an important job. Unlike the poster above who claimed that the older men she would date exaggerative their money, I am not exaggerating.

Why should I feel compelled to date a 50 year old? I wasn’t looking for a 30 year old, it just happened. She’s beautiful and into me and I like being around her.

This is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A friend’s college aged kid goes to school in Miami. He said none of the best looking women stay on campus on Friday and Saturday nights because their peers can’t afford to take them out. They go into south beach to meet older men that can afford to buy them drinks and show them a good time.

I find this very hard to believe but maybe the school has a lot of lower income students. I went to Brown decades ago and almost everyone was very affluent. My then bf / now H took me to Aspen for winter break and then to Paris for the summer. It's such a fallacy to believe that all young guys are broke. I'd also personally date someone who maybe doesn't come from money but has a bright potential instead of a divorced dad who has financial obligations such as children from prior relationships. You will always get the leftovers, financially and emotionally.

You really find it hard to believe that college girls go where the money is? It’s his experience and no, they weren’t low income families. They we’re the hottest ladies on campus at the university of Miami.

You don't get it. For us, the money was already there, on campus. You don't need to chase old men. All you had to do is say hello and sit next to that cute boy at the Ratty with the last name of Tisch. With their 21 billion, he can afford to take you out. Sometimes it's better to pick Providence over Miami

Also, a Providence ten is a Miami five. You don't have to actually be hot to do well. It's like DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Another perspective. Feel free to hate.

I am in my early/mid 50s. Went to an Ivy. Very successful. Am in good shape and good looking for my age. I am dating a 30 year old who has two kids, and is beautiful and was a physics major in college.

She isn’t dating me for money per se - she is dating me because I am a member of the upper class of this country. I’m smarter and more worldly than the guys she could date her age. I ski instead of snowboard and I have an important job. Unlike the poster above who claimed that the older men she would date exaggerative their money, I am not exaggerating.

Why should I feel compelled to date a 50 year old? I wasn’t looking for a 30 year old, it just happened. She’s beautiful and into me and I like being around her.

A 30yo single mother of two isn't the prize you think she is and she's absolutely with you for the money. She's dating you because men her age wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Another perspective. Feel free to hate.

I am in my early/mid 50s. Went to an Ivy. Very successful. Am in good shape and good looking for my age. I am dating a 30 year old who has two kids, and is beautiful and was a physics major in college.

She isn’t dating me for money per se - she is dating me because I am a member of the upper class of this country. I’m smarter and more worldly than the guys she could date her age. I ski instead of snowboard and I have an important job. Unlike the poster above who claimed that the older men she would date exaggerative their money, I am not exaggerating.

Why should I feel compelled to date a 50 year old? I wasn’t looking for a 30 year old, it just happened. She’s beautiful and into me and I like being around her.

A 30yo single mother of two isn't the prize you think she is and she's absolutely with you for the money. She's dating you because men her age wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole.

Prize enough. And regarding ten foot pole: what’s your point? He found someone he likes.

[Anonymous]

I don't think most people care. Young women are only attracted to much older men because of their money. That's about it. An archeologist with her fossil.

Often they both get their needs met and it can last for sometime. Look at Larry King...he become a collection for many collectors!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend’s college aged kid goes to school in Miami. He said none of the best looking women stay on campus on Friday and Saturday nights because their peers can’t afford to take them out. They go into south beach to meet older men that can afford to buy them drinks and show them a good time.

Of course. They are low quality women, and more like their peers spotted them a mile away. South beach is a sleaze bucket and hanging out in bars will net a creepy old guy for sure. Especially in that neck of the woods!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Another perspective. Feel free to hate.

I am in my early/mid 50s. Went to an Ivy. Very successful. Am in good shape and good looking for my age. I am dating a 30 year old who has two kids, and is beautiful and was a physics major in college.

She isn’t dating me for money per se - she is dating me because I am a member of the upper class of this country. I’m smarter and more worldly than the guys she could date her age. I ski instead of snowboard and I have an important job. Unlike the poster above who claimed that the older men she would date exaggerative their money, I am not exaggerating.

Why should I feel compelled to date a 50 year old? I wasn’t looking for a 30 year old, it just happened. She’s beautiful and into me and I like being around her.

This is hilarious.

It is. I bet she locks him down and continues to encourage him to ski, while making sure he has a good insurance policy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Another perspective. Feel free to hate.

I am in my early/mid 50s. Went to an Ivy. Very successful. Am in good shape and good looking for my age. I am dating a 30 year old who has two kids, and is beautiful and was a physics major in college.

She isn’t dating me for money per se - she is dating me because I am a member of the upper class of this country. I’m smarter and more worldly than the guys she could date her age. I ski instead of snowboard and I have an important job. Unlike the poster above who claimed that the older men she would date exaggerative their money, I am not exaggerating.

Why should I feel compelled to date a 50 year old? I wasn’t looking for a 30 year old, it just happened. She’s beautiful and into me and I like being around her.

A 30yo single mother of two isn't the prize you think she is and she's absolutely with you for the money. She's dating you because men her age wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole.

She is dating you in hopes of giving her kids a better future. To be 30 with 2 kids and divorced is young. I don’t imagine she had much a career going on to have gotten such an early start with marriage and motherhood. You are her children’s college saving plan and their “in” at a good internship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. When I was 19-24 I dated significantly (10+ years) older. I had serious unaddressed and untreated trauma and was living hand to mouth.

In hindsight I recognize the profound power imbalance - I hardly knew anything about adult life and lacked savvy and sophistication in so many ways. There’s an “ick” factor when I consider what these men were attracted to in me. Why was a 36-year-old lawyer more interested in a 20-year-old cocktail waitress (me) than a professional woman closer to his age?

It’s exploitative and weird - I don’t care what any man says to justify it.

+1 This. Every young woman I know who dated significantly older men was damaged to start with and more damaged by the relationship. If the younger party is 27+, IDGAF. But 30 year old men trying to date 19 year olds, late thirties men trying to date 20-something women . . . something is always off on both ends.

+2. I dated a guy 13 years older at 21. Thought it was totally consensual and it WAS. But I was messed up and he knew it. When I got healthier and grew up I was appalled. So basically many women who were once those women have pointed out in retrospect that they realized those relationships were very unhealthy. The older guys knows this, as he has been around long enough to hear women talk about this and to know that culturally we all think its incredibly creepy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok. Another perspective. Feel free to hate.

I am in my early/mid 50s. Went to an Ivy. Very successful. Am in good shape and good looking for my age. I am dating a 30 year old who has two kids, and is beautiful and was a physics major in college.

She isn’t dating me for money per se - she is dating me because I am a member of the upper class of this country. I’m smarter and more worldly than the guys she could date her age. I ski instead of snowboard and I have an important job. Unlike the poster above who claimed that the older men she would date exaggerative their money, I am not exaggerating.

Why should I feel compelled to date a 50 year old? I wasn’t looking for a 30 year old, it just happened. She’s beautiful and into me and I like being around her.

This is hilarious.

if she's young enough that her college major is a bragging point, you're a creep

i bet this dude has bookshelves carved of the finest mahogany. and he's into martial arts.

[Anonymous]

We think of sex/relationships as a private matter, but they're really not. The State used to explicitly sat who it was ok to sleep with (men & women, whites with whites, etc.) but the state is leaving this role behind.

People have always judged sex/dating/marriage partners. In the past, an older man and younger woman would hardly raise an eyebrow. But two men together would have been beyond the pale. Now, two men together is not big deal, but an older man or younger woman can raise eyebrows.

In a way, it is weird for people who claim to be tolerant and accepting of different lifestyles to draw the line at older man/younger women pairings and think then it is ok to be judgemental and scornful. Someone in this thread even said they avoid a relative who dates younger women. That sounds like something a white bigot from the 1950s would say about a relative dating interracially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We think of sex/relationships as a private matter, but they're really not. The State used to explicitly sat who it was ok to sleep with (men & women, whites with whites, etc.) but the state is leaving this role behind.

People have always judged sex/dating/marriage partners. In the past, an older man and younger woman would hardly raise an eyebrow. But two men together would have been beyond the pale. Now, two men together is not big deal, but an older man or younger woman can raise eyebrows.

In a way, it is weird for people who claim to be tolerant and accepting of different lifestyles to draw the line at older man/younger women pairings and think then it is ok to be judgemental and scornful. Someone in this thread even said they avoid a relative who dates younger women. That sounds like something a white bigot from the 1950s would say about a relative dating interracially.

If it makes you feel better, I'm not tolerant and accepting of "different lifestyles." I also judge being a furry, for example. I'm in an interracial marriage and I have no idea why you think that's an appropriate analogy. Being gay or being in an interracial marriage is not a "different lifestyle."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We think of sex/relationships as a private matter, but they're really not. The State used to explicitly sat who it was ok to sleep with (men & women, whites with whites, etc.) but the state is leaving this role behind.

People have always judged sex/dating/marriage partners. In the past, an older man and younger woman would hardly raise an eyebrow. But two men together would have been beyond the pale. Now, two men together is not big deal, but an older man or younger woman can raise eyebrows.

In a way, it is weird for people who claim to be tolerant and accepting of different lifestyles to draw the line at older man/younger women pairings and think then it is ok to be judgemental and scornful. Someone in this thread even said they avoid a relative who dates younger women. That sounds like something a white bigot from the 1950s would say about a relative dating interracially.

If it makes you feel better, I'm not tolerant and accepting of "different lifestyles." I also judge being a furry, for example. I'm in an interracial marriage and I have no idea why you think that's an appropriate analogy. Being gay or being in an interracial marriage is not a "different lifestyle."

Isn't being a furry someone who likes to dress up in animal costumes? What does that have to do with this topic?

I brought up interracial and gay and lesbian relationships because people at one time harshly judged such relationships but not older men/younger women. Now some people seem to be trying to censure older men/younger women relationships in a similar fashion. Dating teenagers or even those still in college if the guy is much older is certainly problematic. But if the woman is older than 23-25, why is it anyone's business and why would anyone care? The fact that there are more than a dozen pages of comments on this thread does show that some folks are trying to shame men for such behavior.

[Anonymous]

Because it is exploiting young women for sex. Duh. How is this even a question? Sure they “consent” because they are young and have low self esteem. They think you really like them for their personality, their wit, their charm, and they are flattered. Plus they feel “grown up” to be taken to nicer restaurants, on nicer trips, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because it is exploiting young women for sex. Duh. How is this even a question? Sure they “consent” because they are young and have low self esteem. They think you really like them for their personality, their wit, their charm, and they are flattered. Plus they feel “grown up” to be taken to nicer restaurants, on nicer trips, etc.

I give the young women more credit than you. They know what's up. Older men are attracted to their youth, beauty and fertility (if they want kids). What's exploitative about a 25 year old, for whatever reason, dating a 40 or 45 year old guy? Most women wouldn't do it, but if she does, why judge? She can vote, fight in a war, buy a house, but she's being "exploited" if she dates someone more than 10 years her senior?