Dating for 4 months and he said "not ready" for relationship- I walked away, now what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he realizes he’s been blocked and runs like hell. 4 months in, they’re exclusive, spend several nights a week together, have met each other’s friends.. sounds like a committed relationship of 4 (or more)months duration to me.


He’s probably feeling blindsided, and I feel bad for him. I’d be grasping too, thinking I *had* been in a happy, (appropriately) committed relationship.

I mean, good for OP to sticking to her ideals, but sometimes yiu have to realize the reality of your situation.

Op said she never met his friends, only introduced him to hers. He never called and didn’t make plans with op. It does not sound like he regarded op as his gf, just a hookup.

And why is so such in a rush when she already has kids, and a failed (major) relationship behind her?

This is not a judgement, this is an honest “what’s the rush”?

Finances? Fear of being alone? Wanting a father for your children?

how about having better things to do you with your time than being some loser's 80% solution? i'd rather travel, spend time with my friends + children, build my career, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he realizes he’s been blocked and runs like hell. 4 months in, they’re exclusive, spend several nights a week together, have met each other’s friends.. sounds like a committed relationship of 4 (or more)months duration to me.


He’s probably feeling blindsided, and I feel bad for him. I’d be grasping too, thinking I *had* been in a happy, (appropriately) committed relationship.

I mean, good for OP to sticking to her ideals, but sometimes yiu have to realize the reality of your situation.

Op said she never met his friends, only introduced him to hers. He never called and didn’t make plans with op. It does not sound like he regarded op as his gf, just a hookup.

And why is so such in a rush when she already has kids, and a failed (major) relationship behind her?

This is not a judgement, this is an honest “what’s the rush”?

Finances? Fear of being alone? Wanting a father for your children?

There’s a lot between f-buddy and “wanting a father for her children.” She wants a boyfriend. Seems reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he realizes he’s been blocked and runs like hell. 4 months in, they’re exclusive, spend several nights a week together, have met each other’s friends.. sounds like a committed relationship of 4 (or more)months duration to me.


He’s probably feeling blindsided, and I feel bad for him. I’d be grasping too, thinking I *had* been in a happy, (appropriately) committed relationship.

I mean, good for OP to sticking to her ideals, but sometimes yiu have to realize the reality of your situation.

Op said she never met his friends, only introduced him to hers. He never called and didn’t make plans with op. It does not sound like he regarded op as his gf, just a hookup.

And why is so such in a rush when she already has kids, and a failed (major) relationship behind her?

This is not a judgement, this is an honest “what’s the rush”?

Finances? Fear of being alone? Wanting a father for your children?

Jesus you have a dark view. She likes the guy and isn't looking to be his side piece. Why is that so fricking hard for people here to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he realizes he’s been blocked and runs like hell. 4 months in, they’re exclusive, spend several nights a week together, have met each other’s friends.. sounds like a committed relationship of 4 (or more)months duration to me.


He’s probably feeling blindsided, and I feel bad for him. I’d be grasping too, thinking I *had* been in a happy, (appropriately) committed relationship.

I mean, good for OP to sticking to her ideals, but sometimes yiu have to realize the reality of your situation.

Op said she never met his friends, only introduced him to hers. He never called and didn’t make plans with op. It does not sound like he regarded op as his gf, just a hookup.

And why is so such in a rush when she already has kids, and a failed (major) relationship behind her?

This is not a judgement, this is an honest “what’s the rush”?

Finances? Fear of being alone? Wanting a father for your children?

There’s a lot between f-buddy and “wanting a father for her children.” She wants a boyfriend. Seems reasonable.

It sounds like she had a boyfriend already to me. I was confused by her post. It was like they were alreayd BF/GF but she was acting like she wanted to get married but saying that is not what she wanted. It was weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope he realizes he’s been blocked and runs like hell. 4 months in, they’re exclusive, spend several nights a week together, have met each other’s friends.. sounds like a committed relationship of 4 (or more)months duration to me.


He’s probably feeling blindsided, and I feel bad for him. I’d be grasping too, thinking I *had* been in a happy, (appropriately) committed relationship.

I mean, good for OP to sticking to her ideals, but sometimes yiu have to realize the reality of your situation.

This. She is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Guessing he felt that bumping things up from dating to being in a relationship might = soon time to meet the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he realizes he’s been blocked and runs like hell. 4 months in, they’re exclusive, spend several nights a week together, have met each other’s friends.. sounds like a committed relationship of 4 (or more)months duration to me.


He’s probably feeling blindsided, and I feel bad for him. I’d be grasping too, thinking I *had* been in a happy, (appropriately) committed relationship.

I mean, good for OP to sticking to her ideals, but sometimes yiu have to realize the reality of your situation.

Op said she never met his friends, only introduced him to hers. He never called and didn’t make plans with op. It does not sound like he regarded op as his gf, just a hookup.

And why is so such in a rush when she already has kids, and a failed (major) relationship behind her?

This is not a judgement, this is an honest “what’s the rush”?

Finances? Fear of being alone? Wanting a father for your children?

There’s a lot between f-buddy and “wanting a father for her children.” She wants a boyfriend. Seems reasonable.

It sounds like she had a boyfriend already to me. I was confused by her post. It was like they were alreayd BF/GF but she was acting like she wanted to get married but saying that is not what she wanted. It was weird.

Well if that's your takeaway then you would probably be a bad partner to OP, too.

[Anonymous]

Op: update. I replied with a nice final (I thought) message that said:

“I shared my feelings about everything last week when we spoke. It’s a shame we want different things right now, but I totally respect what you told me. I’m not interested in going forward with the status quo.”

He said he appreciated my honesty.

Now, 3 days later, he wrote, “there’s got to be something I can do…”

I truly don't understand. If he cared, wouldn’t he call? And wouldn’t he say what would be different? It feels like he’s just trying hard to get me to agree to maintain our previous “situationship” (which was NOT bf/gf).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op: update. I replied with a nice final (I thought) message that said:

“I shared my feelings about everything last week when we spoke. It’s a shame we want different things right now, but I totally respect what you told me. I’m not interested in going forward with the status quo.”

He said he appreciated my honesty.

Now, 3 days later, he wrote, “there’s got to be something I can do…”

I truly don't understand. If he cared, wouldn’t he call? And wouldn’t he say what would be different? It feels like he’s just trying hard to get me to agree to maintain our previous “situationship” (which was NOT bf/gf).

You are not using clear, strong language that it is over.

[Anonymous]

Could he be a narcissist? He doesn’t want to commit, but doesn’t want to let go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op: update. I replied with a nice final (I thought) message that said:

“I shared my feelings about everything last week when we spoke. It’s a shame we want different things right now, but I totally respect what you told me. I’m not interested in going forward with the status quo.”

He said he appreciated my honesty.

Now, 3 days later, he wrote, “there’s got to be something I can do…”

I truly don't understand. If he cared, wouldn’t he call? And wouldn’t he say what would be different? It feels like he’s just trying hard to get me to agree to maintain our previous “situationship” (which was NOT bf/gf).

What is this, QVC, will he throw in the throwing in a free engraving if you act now? At this point, either he is very challenged with knowing how to communicate or he is trying to get you to accept the status quo.

Are you planning to respond?

[Anonymous]

Troll!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op: update. I replied with a nice final (I thought) message that said:

“I shared my feelings about everything last week when we spoke. It’s a shame we want different things right now, but I totally respect what you told me. I’m not interested in going forward with the status quo.”

He said he appreciated my honesty.

Now, 3 days later, he wrote, “there’s got to be something I can do…”

I truly don't understand. If he cared, wouldn’t he call? And wouldn’t he say what would be different? It feels like he’s just trying hard to get me to agree to maintain our previous “situationship” (which was NOT bf/gf).

OP, he's not willing to give you want you want and deserve. He's trying to convince you to accept the status quo. It worked well for him. He doesn't seem to care at all that it didn't work for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op: update. I replied with a nice final (I thought) message that said:

“I shared my feelings about everything last week when we spoke. It’s a shame we want different things right now, but I totally respect what you told me. I’m not interested in going forward with the status quo.”

He said he appreciated my honesty.

Now, 3 days later, he wrote, “there’s got to be something I can do…”

I truly don't understand. If he cared, wouldn’t he call? And wouldn’t he say what would be different? It feels like he’s just trying hard to get me to agree to maintain our previous “situationship” (which was NOT bf/gf).

Well, OP, now you know why he is still single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope he realizes he’s been blocked and runs like hell. 4 months in, they’re exclusive, spend several nights a week together, have met each other’s friends.. sounds like a committed relationship of 4 (or more)months duration to me.


He’s probably feeling blindsided, and I feel bad for him. I’d be grasping too, thinking I *had* been in a happy, (appropriately) committed relationship.

I mean, good for OP to sticking to her ideals, but sometimes yiu have to realize the reality of your situation.

Op said she never met his friends, only introduced him to hers. He never called and didn’t make plans with op. It does not sound like he regarded op as his gf, just a hookup.

And why is so such in a rush when she already has kids, and a failed (major) relationship behind her?

This is not a judgement, this is an honest “what’s the rush”?

Finances? Fear of being alone? Wanting a father for your children?

There’s a lot between f-buddy and “wanting a father for her children.” She wants a boyfriend. Seems reasonable.

It sounds like she had a boyfriend already to me. I was confused by her post. It was like they were alreayd BF/GF but she was acting like she wanted to get married but saying that is not what she wanted. It was weird.

Well if that's your takeaway then you would probably be a bad partner to OP, too.

I am a woman.