Vent - DD's classmate's mother just called to ask me to invite her kid to my kid's bday party

[Anonymous]

My DD is turning 10 and her classmate's parent just called to ask me to invite her kid to my kid's sleepover party. My DD isn't having a sleepover party - just a dinner with some friends. But I had to restrict the list to start, since we're going out, and I really can't include this child who is not really even DD's friend. It isn't as if this child has no friends -- she has plenty. She obviously just wants to go to my DD's birthday celebration and had her mom call to ask outright. It was a very uncomfortable conversation. I really resent having been put in that situation. Anyone else ever been there?

[Anonymous]

No -- that has never happened to me at all. So weird/rude...how did you leave it?

[Anonymous]

Ugh that is very tacky of the other mom to do. I would be annoyed as well.

I would also like to know how you ended that convo? Did you invite the girl?

[Anonymous]

Yes. . .what on earth did you say? Awk-WARD.

[Anonymous]

I could never imagine having my mom do that at 10. That's weird and awkward.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I was SUPREMELY uncomfortable doing this, but I just basically told her it was up to DD to invite her friends, as we were having very few children at the celebration. It was truly awful and I'm still reeling from it, honestly.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have my deepest sympathies. What an awful conversation. You did the right thing. This helicopter parent needs to get out of her child's social life.
Ugh!

[Anonymous]

OP --- good for you for tactfully stating the truth that the other mother needed to hear. Sad that she's an adult and doesn't know how invitations and manners work. But, I'm glad you didn't cave just to avoid a conflict. You have a spine!

[Anonymous]

OP --- good for you for tactfully stating the truth that the other mother needed to hear. Sad that she's an adult and doesn't know how invitations and manners work. But, I'm glad you didn't cave just to avoid a conflict. You have a spine!

[Anonymous]

Wow! The worst I ever had it was when the parents brought the siblings and expected me to pay for them too. I think you handled it well.

[Anonymous]

This is one of those things where I just laugh in shock right in people's faces and force them to confront whatever they've just done. "Are you really calling me to ask that I force my daughter to invite yours, who she's not even friends with, to her birthday party?!"

If I were feeling nice, I'd just tell her, "Oh Melissa, you must have been given some bad intel - Madison isn't HAVING a sleepover party! Oh well, mix-ups happen, bye!" Click.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me when my DC was in first grade. Hmm, wonder if it is the same mom. I was quite frankly shocked and said, well, we would love to get together with you at another time, how about x. Totally wrong of me in retrospect. I wish I had just said, no, she wasn't invited (not all kids invited, invitations sent by email to the parents). Thankfully, that family left the school, so I didn't have to deal with it again.

[Anonymous]

I would just say that you limited the number of friends that your daughter could invite and that you don't want to include any additional children so she won't question why she couldn't invite more friends of her choice. Then say that you're sorry that you can't include any more children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one of those things where I just laugh in shock right in people's faces and force them to confront whatever they've just done. "Are you really calling me to ask that I force my daughter to invite yours, who she's not even friends with, to her birthday party?!"

If I were feeling nice, I'd just tell her, "Oh Melissa, you must have been given some bad intel - Madison isn't HAVING a sleepover party! Oh well, mix-ups happen, bye!" Click.

The second response is probably what Miss Manners would say.

[Anonymous]

OP you did great. Don't let this phase you - she's the one who should be embarrassed!!