Hosting step-grandson for two weeks- how to deal with food fussiness

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What a spoiled brat. Tell him to eat what is served.

Welcome back OP!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When is the last time you have seen this kid? If you mentioned that I missed it. Kids change. Obviously you are not close and do not have regular visits. A kid may only want hotdogs and say ewww when he’s 9 then do a 180 and is a vegetarian by the time they are 12. I’m guessing it’s been at least a year since you’ve been around him for an extended period of time since he’s staying for two weeks. [/quote

OP here-saw him last Christmas. It's not like this child is visiting us for the first time in ages. He was only supposed to stay for one week but it ended up being two for reasons unknown to us. He's the kind of kid who needs to have a lot of attention. Not the type to just sit down and read. He used to reject my ideas to take him to the library so I just gave up trying to connect with him. Sorry to ruffle your feathers but I'm saying like it is.

So because a child 12 or under doesn't want to go to the library on his vacation you gave up trying to connect with him? You sound very rigid. Just tell DH you don't want his grandson to come. You're going to make the poor child miserable with your perception that kids are to do as they are told and will eat vegetables and read. No fun allowed. My step dad treats my kids as well as his biological grandkids. I feel bad for your step grandchild, you're going to ruin his relationship with his granddad because you don't like him.

Huh, you think the kid cares? He'll probably be on his iPad. Kids at that age don't care...unless they're girls because girls are way more perceptive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When is the last time you have seen this kid? If you mentioned that I missed it. Kids change. Obviously you are not close and do not have regular visits. A kid may only want hotdogs and say ewww when he’s 9 then do a 180 and is a vegetarian by the time they are 12. I’m guessing it’s been at least a year since you’ve been around him for an extended period of time since he’s staying for two weeks. [/quote

OP here-saw him last Christmas. It's not like this child is visiting us for the first time in ages. He was only supposed to stay for one week but it ended up being two for reasons unknown to us. He's the kind of kid who needs to have a lot of attention. Not the type to just sit down and read. He used to reject my ideas to take him to the library so I just gave up trying to connect with him. Sorry to ruffle your feathers but I'm saying like it is.

So because a child 12 or under doesn't want to go to the library on his vacation you gave up trying to connect with him? You sound very rigid. Just tell DH you don't want his grandson to come. You're going to make the poor child miserable with your perception that kids are to do as they are told and will eat vegetables and read. No fun allowed. My step dad treats my kids as well as his biological grandkids. I feel bad for your step grandchild, you're going to ruin his relationship with his granddad because you don't like him.

Lol, you do know that what you described was how people parented in the 40s and 50s? Nothing unusual with OP's expectations. At least she has standards.

[Anonymous]

Let’s hope the kid brings a phone or device and plays Fortnite all week. Usually I wouldn’t be in favor of this but it seems like a good option here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What a spoiled brat. Tell him to eat what is served.

Welcome back OP!!

Believe it or not, there are actually a few of us who wouldn't be allowing a kid to eat pizza for 2 weeks if he stayed with us. It really isn't child abuse to get a kid to eat vegetables.

- Not OP or PP.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you want your grandson to have a good time or do you want it to be tense? For all of your sakes, I pray the latter.

Cook 12 dinners that you ALL will enjoy and maybe 2 German meals and say “I’d love to cook you some of traditional food. It may not be your cup of tea but just give it a try and if you aren’t a fan, that’s fine, there will be a frozen pizza for you.”

[Anonymous]

When I was a kid, I had to spend time at my grandparents and they’d do what you are doing. This behavior made it obvious they didn’t want me there and it still stings when I think about it 40 yeas later.

Be kind - I’m sure he gets a sense you don’t like him since you call him your STEP-grandson. Make him feel welcome.

[Anonymous]

OP— if you wanted to teach kids manners, you should have married someone your own age, and had your own kids. Then you could have 18 blissful years of raising non-picky eaters who minded their manners. (BTW— this is never as easy as you imagine it IRL).

As it is, you chose to marry someone who is probably 30 years older than you. So suck it up, quit angling to be the parent, and be a grandparent— spoil the kid and send him home.

Also, and in all seriousness, cut it out with the stepgrandparent thing. My parents are divorced, so I have step grandparents. And my kids have step grandparents. And it is hurtful to the kid who thinks the step thing is about him. It’s not, really. It’s about you, and your relationship with your husband hand his adult kids. Leave their kids out of it. Introduced them as your grandkids, or as, “Alex’s grandkids”. Never introduce or refer to a kid as a step grandkid in their presence. It may be true. But it’s a hurtful distinction for a kid.

[Anonymous]

Who in their right mind takes a visiting 11 year old boy to the library "to bond"? Unless the kids is a real bookwork, why would you think this was a fun idea?

Take him:

Go Karting
Indoor Rock Climbing
Fishing
Air and Space Museum
County Fair
Dinosaur Park
High Ropes Course like Sandy Spring Adventure Park
Kayaking
Amusement Park
Movies

[Anonymous]

This child is a product of our time and so are most of the responses on this thread. You would think we were talking about a one-year-old baby by the way people suggest you cater to him.

He's a guest in your house. You cook a few meals you know he enjoys and for the rest of the meals, you cook like you usually do.
If the boy doesn't like your cooking and is still hungry after dinner, he can make himself a peanut butter sandwich later in the evening.

[Anonymous]

OP can’t be real. Why is a 40 something grandma without kids on DCUM? Talk about needing a hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid, I had to spend time at my grandparents and they’d do what you are doing. This behavior made it obvious they didn’t want me there and it still stings when I think about it 40 yeas later.

Be kind - I’m sure he gets a sense you don’t like him since you call him your STEP-grandson. Make him feel welcome.

If you are so affected by the fact that your grandparents wanted you to eat their food, then you have bigger issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP can’t be real. Why is a 40 something grandma without kids on DCUM? Talk about needing a hobby.

She's not a grandma. She doesn't have kids. Probably uses DCUM because it's anonymous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who in their right mind takes a visiting 11 year old boy to the library "to bond"? Unless the kids is a real bookwork, why would you think this was a fun idea?

Take him:

Go Karting
Indoor Rock Climbing
Fishing
Air and Space Museum
County Fair
Dinosaur Park
High Ropes Course like Sandy Spring Adventure Park
Kayaking
Amusement Park
Movies

So the child doesn't benefit from a library visit? How do you think that a love for reading gets cultivated? Plus, OP didn't say where she's at. Maybe they live in some boring city where there isn't much going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you definitely should tame a vacation while the kids is visiting. Your clearly don’t like this kid and didn’t really want him to visit. So why stick around and make everyone miserable? It sort of sounds like you don’t particularly like kids at all—that’s totally fine but just don’t take it out on this kid that he happens to be a kid! Tell your husband you think you’ll have a better relationship with Larlo in another decade and that you forgot you have a very pressing engagement in the Bahamas (or wherever) that week! Please!

That's an even worse suggestion. It's better for OP to stay and co-host. My husband is like OP...clueless about children and doesn't care for my daughters kids. But he puts up with their nonsense and I admire him more for it.