Boy slapped my daughter's butt on the walk from school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the equivalent of a little boy pulling a girl's pigtails because he likes her. It is a crude form of flirting...should we condone it? No. But that warrants talking to the parents about changing the boys behavior and explaining why it is wrong, not locking up a kid and throwing the key away. Talk about overreaction.

You're kidding, right? Equating hair pulling with sexual touching? Because slapping someone's butt is a sexual contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The police??

Hitting people is assault.

I do not think this behavior is appropriate, but boys are dumb and were more than likely flirting with her. You should help your daughter with language to empower her and if it continues to involve the parents/ school cause it is harassment- not assault

No, they were harassing her.

You know the boy's name, OP, right? Get the police to give a good scare. He'll be done touching females in a sexual way without their permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure what to do. A boy ran up and hit her on the butt while his friends cheered him on. She said he's from her middle school, but doesn't know his name. I'd like to find out who he is and have a word with his parents and/or the principal.

Advice? These are 12 and 13 year olds, or send the police to do it.

I think this is normal middle school antics. I wouldn't get my daughter riled up about it at all. If I was worried I would talk to the school.

Do you have a son? Boys will be boys? Oh I know he raped her, but he was just being a BOY!

No. Buck stops here. I'd talk to the principal and the kid's parents. If the principal doesn't take it seriously talk about contacting the police because your kid was sexually assaulted.

This, this, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this ENTIRE thread about how the OP feels? Was the daughter upset by it? Did she think it was funny? She is the one who matters.

FWIW I think this is way to puritanical. A smack on the butt is not the same thing as groping.

The butt is an erogenous zone. Touching there qualifies as harassment if done without permission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the equivalent of a little boy pulling a girl's pigtails because he likes her. It is a crude form of flirting...should we condone it? No. But that warrants talking to the parents about changing the boys behavior and explaining why it is wrong, not locking up a kid and throwing the key away. Talk about overreaction.

You're kidding, right? Equating hair pulling with sexual touching? Because slapping someone's butt is a sexual contact.

This is a teaching moment - it takes understanding and context. It doesn't read like sexual content and just the fact the OP raised this incident to a public and anonymous board suggests this. Going forward, the girl should tell anyone "bug off", engage the school and/or the boy's parents as this PP had suggested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The police??

Hitting people is assault.

I do not think this behavior is appropriate, but boys are dumb and were more than likely flirting with her. You should help your daughter with language to empower her and if it continues to involve the parents/ school cause it is harassment- not assault

No, they were harassing her.

You know the boy's name, OP, right? Get the police to give a good scare. He'll be done touching females in a sexual way without their permission.

No, let's not use to police to replace the role of parenting. Teenage boys will back down when confronted by anyone is confident and capable. My buddy gave this advice to his daughter when she was being harassed by a teenage boy who called her out on the street in a lewd manner. She pointed at him and told to him "No!", the offending kid's father saw what was happening and dropkicked his son.

[Anonymous]

You are assuming that a) the boy has a father figure in his life and b) that that father figure isn't the type that condones that behavior. Also, in certain cultures, making a physical pass at someone they don't know is seen as acceptable. I don't condone at all but it happened to my friend when I lived overseas (a random man kissed her on her ear - she was 14!).

[Anonymous]

I'd sit down with my daughter, go through the year book, and figure out this guy's name. Then I would have the police talk to the boy, but not press charges as longer as he seemed to learned from it and is now scared shitless.

Look, to all of you who think sexual harassment and assault amongst minors is just rough housing - the law is not on your side. Since your children aren't going to learn that lesson from you, it has to come from somewhere and it's not up for debate. Your kids need to know that before they get killed out of college, or ruin their careers.

[Anonymous]

Auto correct - kicked, not killed, out of school obviously

[Anonymous]

You women are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Look, the reality is the actions of the boy were not appropriate. However, kids do stupid stuff. And 12/13 yo's are mentally children. I remember, at that age, there were things I did that were not appropriate. And I might be labeled deviant if I did them as an adult -- for example, noticing someone is changing, and going closer to get a better look (at 13).

I do not remember grabbing or slapping anyones rear...but I can almost guarantee you, the boy who did this had no idea that this was a big deal. The proper action is for him to 1) learn it is a big deal, 2) apologize to the girl whom was the victim, and 3) learn how to treat people. All kids need to learn that no one has a right to touch them -- slap/punch, etc.

These kids are starting to feel attractions, and have no idea how to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"End game"? I would like the kid to be seriously punished. Suspended. Kicked off his sports team for some period of time (if applicable). Detention for a while. Things like that. Would depend on whether this was the first time he did something like this or not. I'd like someone with authority (principal maybe) to sit him down and tell him he can't do that and if he were an adult it is a crime called "assault" that could be prosecuted. And that if they ever hear of him treating another girl in a degrading manner, he will be punished even more severely.

Wow. I hope your precious little snowflake doesn't make a mistake at some point in her life. I'm not condoning the boys' behavior but IMO your reaction is so far over the top, I don't know where to begin.

Suspended from school and kicked off a sports team for touching a girls butt off school grounds. Unbelievable.

This. We are a society gone amok.

One unhinged poster listed severe punishments he/she thought were a good idea, and that person is the voice of the whole of society? You realize you're overreacting, right?

I'm the OP and it was easy to ignore that poster. I suggest you do the same, instead of seeing it as the damnation of society.

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP and it was easy to ignore that poster. I suggest you do the same, instead of seeing it as the damnation of society.

OP so which of the posts on this thread actually are yours? Did you really file a police report as someone claimed on the previous page?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"End game"? I would like the kid to be seriously punished. Suspended. Kicked off his sports team for some period of time (if applicable). Detention for a while. Things like that. Would depend on whether this was the first time he did something like this or not. I'd like someone with authority (principal maybe) to sit him down and tell him he can't do that and if he were an adult it is a crime called "assault" that could be prosecuted. And that if they ever hear of him treating another girl in a degrading manner, he will be punished even more severely.

Wow. I hope your precious little snowflake doesn't make a mistake at some point in her life. I'm not condoning the boys' behavior but IMO your reaction is so far over the top, I don't know where to begin.

Suspended from school and kicked off a sports team for touching a girls butt off school grounds. Unbelievable.

This. We are a society gone amok.

One unhinged poster listed severe punishments he/she thought were a good idea, and that person is the voice of the whole of society? You realize you're overreacting, right?

I'm the OP and it was easy to ignore that poster. I suggest you do the same, instead of seeing it as the damnation of society.

The fact that we have 19 pages on dumb 12/13 year old behavior and adults are freaking out and asserting that the police should be called does indeed signify that we are a society gone amok.

[Anonymous]

As a women born in the 60s and who has seen feminism come full circle from empowerment to victimization, I am disgusted. As a mother of both boys and girls, I am terrified.

The craziness that passes for feminism these days will set us back decades.