Bullying at NCS
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
If the troll's DD were already at NCS, she could answer the question about outplacement for non-conforming kids herself and with more accuracy than asking a bunch of uninformed spectators on DCUM. DD got into NCS but turned it down for another school, but I'm sick of stupid, trollish behavior anywhere on DCUM and I've started to call it out. |
Anonymous
I don't where you get that she is thinking of applying. I've read the post several times, and it just isn't there. Where are you getting that? PLus, if that were the case, i don't see why you see it as a bad question. What if she thinks the school would be a good fit now, but is concerned that it might not be down the road? Thats seems like a perfectly legitimate question, though it isn't the question she asked. You really need to calm down here. There's nothing in this post that seems like a troll at all. There's nothing about applying to a school she knows she will hate. The tone is certainly far better than your posts. |
Anonymous
Where are you getting all this? I see nothing about it in the post. You don't have to be the cop of DCUM. |
Anonymous
| I should add that when we were considering applying out I would have asked the same question. There is no way to answer the question yourself unless you actually tell the folks you are thinking of applying out and thats something you probably don't to do until you are fairly far along in the process. |
Anonymous
| Uniforms in middle school would help address the bullying problem. |
Anonymous
| Wait...uniforms in middle school would decrease bullying in high school? |
Anonymous
| Also, over on the thread about shoes at Holton, some are advocating that that it is silly that Holton has uniforms. I'm so confused. |
Anonymous
The bullying flames start to ignite in middle school. Anything one can do to douse that fire then, and you'll avoid a full blown wildfire by high school. |
Anonymous
|
I say find a school where it doesnt' happen..and you will not. HOW the school chooses to handle it however is what is importrant. We all know there should be a ZERO tolerance policy however that is not the case in all schools. I would point blank ask them exactly how they handle it and hold them to it without hesitation.
I know a friends sister who did this in Colorado and called the school out on wimping out on their own policy after a case went public after she alerted the media. Suffice to say the school got tough real quick. |
Anonymous
|
current NCS student here. NCS absolutely has relational aggression; it was not always so obvious to me because I had friends and have been at this school since 4th grade (and Beauvoir before that). The administration does nothing and it is not even acknowledged (out loud) by any student. To do so would be social suicide. People are very cliquey and I know several people who have been kicked out of their cliques for petty reasons. I'm in 11th grade and they never found friends after that; too cliquey, too much relational aggression. If you have no friends then you can hang out with the people who are shunned socially or with no one. And yes, several people are shunned by everyone, one girl by literally everyone (even the other shunners) and everyone in all the grades is totally bitchy to her. She has depression and and eating disorder because of this. Back to the people kicked out of their cliques: they weren't told. They were just not invited to anything anymore, excluded in conversation, and talked about behind their backs. I was in a clique before I a) realized what it was and b) they kicked 3 of our friends out and I wouldn't be a part of it. I just stopped talking to them; confrontation = social suicide. I ABSOLUTELY WISH I HAD GONE TO BOARDING SCHOOL AFTER 6TH GRADE. It was fine until then! SOLELY because of people at this school I have had depression, and anxiety disorder and moderate anorexia since I was 12.
Everyone does this relational aggression, and is unfriendly except the people you're friends with. There's no escape from it. People are excluded from conversation, people stop talking when some "uncool" people sit at that table. I was sitting with this girl (today, actually) and this other girl "Lidia" sat down. Lidia is a bit socially awkward and weird but has always been nice to me. The other girl subtlely (sometimes it's very subtly and you wouldn't see it unless you were Lidia or a lifer at this school) made up some excuse to leave the table almost immediately. This school is absolutely THE Mean Girls school, just more subtle. Send your kids to Sidwell or boarding school. I wish with all my heart I had left (if I left now I would be giving up and editing position at the school newspaper, a shot at service board, a MUN award, and MUN presidency. College aps before happiness/social life lol all too depressing and true). |
Anonymous
|
ncs student here again. need to clarify a couple things: the people who were kicked out of their cliques (btw no i am not one of them but i was friends with a couple of them and I know what happened as well as if it happened to me). they weren't told and by that i mean they had to eventually figure out that all the friends they had had simultaneously dropped them for no apparent reason, and they were now despised by their former friends. of course they wouldn't know at first so they would still be trying to hang out with their "friends" wondering what was going on, and they eventually realized: i have no friends now and i don't know why. oh and this school's social climate is so that i have no hope of making new friends that actually hang out with me outside of school, unless i become friends with the weird socially shunned people. this means i can't go to any ncs dances (which are a huge deal here), because god knows you can't show up without having come from a dinner with a bunch of besties. such dances would be ncs homecoming, sta winter mixer, any other mixers, winfo, ncs prom. you can only go to sta homecoming/prom if you are asked, and if you have no friends that's unlikely.
the end. DON'T COME HERE PLEASE GOD. second thing: this is an extremely bitchy competitive school and i wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. however, the education i'm getting is fantastic and i am on a good lacrosse team here. the athletic facilities are amazing; there's a class i'm doing solely focused on training for spring sports and it is incredibly good. i wish that i went to this school but with (mostly) different students. so if your daughter is a loner anyway or willing to fit herself totally and completely a mold (this is exhausting here btw you have no idea of the emotional demands) to be popular then she'll probably like it here. |
Anonymous
| ncs student again, last thing sorry (i am so passionate about this because my parents never looked at any schools but ncs even when they saw i was miserable in 7th grade, age 12, and i want to make sure other parents don't make the same mistake. if your kid is unhappy find a different school with equally good academics/athletics BEFORE high school) the advisors and guidance counselors or whatever are totally useless from all reports i've heard from everyone in my grade and personal experience and middle school teachers will throw you to the wolves, so basically if you can't deal with this twisted social environment, tough. the guidance counselors don't even try to address the psychological manipulation and twisted social environment, but they will listen to your problems with a dumb-ass fake-sympathy look and contact your parents when you don't want them to. |
Anonymous
|
NCS student -- several years ago my DD felt the same way (down to some of the details -- OMG the dinners before the dances, being completely socially ostracized) and transferred out in the middle (yes, middle) of 11th grade. It turned her life around. She is at a great college so the transfer didn't hurt her, it just gave her something different to write about in her essay. So much of what you've written she could have written. Talk to your parents about transferring out. It truly isn't too late. And if you can't' do that, please ask them to hook you up with a good therapist. You sound like you are in a lot of pain and there is help for you. Finally, please know you aren't the only one going through this. After my DD transferred I heard about other girls going through the same thing and I had no idea at the time.
Bottom line: NCS doesn't care about the emotional health of its students. |
Anonymous
| ha thank you, those are some good suggestions. not all of that applies to me, i just did my best to summarize what i see others go through here (and what i myself experience). i am applying to other schools and a junior did just switch out after the 1st quarter (and last year another junior switched out after the 1st semester). that last bit is absolutely true haha; one thing to expect daily is people complaining about how tired and stressed they are (and how that teacher took off too much for getting #7 wrong on the quiz). most students go through a lot of the same things, which leads people to question the policies (like the unenforced 5 hour limit to homework) and make changes. so women for the world in that respect |
Anonymous
|
interestingly enough i went on twitter just now and these were the last 20 things in my news feed/home thing (just thought this was funny. i'm not taking the most relevant ones at all, these are exactly the last 20 things):
"losing my f***ing mind" "daily debate: should i sleep or should i shower. i could sleep in the shower but i also have math homework." (and lots of retweets for that one) "i'll just finish up this chem and go to sleep wait is that the sun" "college better make up for all the s*** i have to go through in high school" "my precalc textbook could give waldo's hiding skills a run for their money" "going to bed RIGHT now #jk #sleepisforwinnersmathisforncsstudents" "me 99% of the time: i'm THIS close to losing my s***" "CATCHING FIRE IS OUT IN 8 DAYS WE ARE DOWN TO SINGLE DIGITS PEOPLE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT NOT A DRILLL" "how do you lose weight by tomorrow" "the raccoon that was in my house is still MIA" "me on my period: i hate all of you. me not on my period: i hate all of you." "*limping up stairs* mr. *****(name not shown): hey how are you? me: sore/stressed/tired/bleh. mr. h: you look it. me: THANKS TIM SO HELPFUL" "dying crying so tired" "why has no one hipped me to what a cypher is? gosh darn the youth these days" "i'm soooo behind in huck finn like a 100 x 2073401771 pages behind.... let us commence the grind" "can stress eating be a profession" "ms. k*****n (a guidance counselor) is SO HELPFUL OMGG #saidnooneever" "i can barely keep up with my homework let alone the kardashians" "junior year: I WANT. TO DIE." "sweat pants are the new clothes" |