Bullying at NCS

[Anonymous]

PP, your daughter must not be in US.

[Anonymous]

NP here --- my daughter is in the US at NCS. "Relational Aggression" has not been a problem and she is very happy with the school.

[Anonymous]

Ladies, I remember this kind of thing when I was in MS and early HS. I went to Public School. Growing up, I just thought the click in my school was mean and worked around them. I have no daughters, only a son, and observing the social dynamics around my boy I see that the boys are pretty harmless, but the girls are, well vicious with each other. It stands out because I am separated from the experience as my child is a boy.

Girls are mean. It has nothing to do with the school. And likely they will just skirt around whatever "policy" you ladies seem to want a school to have. Here is a thought: YOU tell your daughter their will be consequecnes and what is NOT allowed, don't put that off on the school.

[Anonymous]

OP, the school doesn't take the bullying/shunning behavior seriously and it's not the garden variety mean-spirited crap. When a girl gets to the point she doesn't want to go to school anymore, their parents step in and pull them out.

[Anonymous]

I have boys at a co-ed school, so I really have no reason to respond to this. But I don't see what the school can do in individual cases. Girls are just mean in junior high and high school. I went to an all girls school and that's why I send my kids to co-ed. I can't imagine that NCS is any worse than any girls school when it comes to bullying. I don't think its a good idea to use academic code words when talking about these issues. That just clouds the issue. Alpha girls are bullies and that doesn't go away until after college

[Anonymous]

DD graduated in the last five years. Her senior year I spoke with school staff about the "relational aggression". I said " you have a serious bullying problem here. This is no joke"

I had heard all the rumors, I had even heard it from previous parents but did not see real signs of it until senior year.

Response from staff, a very sympathetic " We know and there is nothing we can do" meaning the consequences they had were pretty meaningless to a group of senior girls. I think they were trying but the girls knew they were not going to get kicked out of school for being bit#$es so they continued.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But I don't see what the school can do in individual cases. Girls are just mean in junior high and high school.

Meanness can't be stamped out, but schools can choose to invest in pushing back or they can just let it flourish. They can proactively teach the bystander majority how to counter bullying; they can work with bullies; they can suspend or expel the worst offenders. I think the "girls will be girls" response is just as much a cop-out as "boys will be boys" when it comes to physical aggression or destructive behavior.

This is not meant to be a comment on NCS, btw, as I have no real knowledge of the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD graduated within the last five years, and it absolutely does happen. At least two girls, that I'm aware of, left in DDs grade after being shunned, one at the end of eighth and the other middle of tenth. Lovely girls, no one really ever mentioned them again after they left.

Yes, this happened to my DD. Really awful experience. her class got much worse in the upper grades. Parents of younger kids, you really have no idea. OP, I regret sending my DD there.

[Anonymous]

If the school doesn't want bullying it will take action to extinguish it, e.g., suspend/ expel the offending victimizer. I can't believe that NCS wants this reputatuion. Who would willingly let their child go to a school that isn't proactive about bullying?

[Anonymous]

This happens at every school I have ever heard of. It is not exclusive to NCS.

Seriously - girls are mean.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. Then why aren't there similarly repetitive threads regarding Stone Ridge, Visitation or Holton? Please stop minimizing the problem. It does exist. I have a senior at NCS.

[Anonymous]

For NCS parents reporting bullying--knowing what you now know, if you could go back in time, would you still send your daughter there? Have the positives outweighed the negatives?

[Anonymous]

You must be in 4th or 5th grade, 22:59.

I think it occurs mildly at any school but it seems excessive at NCS, especially between 7th and 9th grades and, yes, I've seen it with my own eyes on several occasions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For NCS parents reporting bullying--knowing what you now know, if you could go back in time, would you still send your daughter there? Have the positives outweighed the negatives?

Of course not. But I can't go back in time.

[Anonymous]

PP here. As was mentioned in another thread, it all goes back to admissions. The school should get a better read on the families it chooses to admit.