Bullying at NCS

[Anonymous]

PP, mother of grad. I didn't get the sense that NCS has a huge cheating problem. I'm sure it happens, as it happens everywhere. But it does have a big problem with its unwillingness to take on parents. I can totally see the school shrinking away from a confrontation without proof above and beyond what most schools would require for fear of taking on the parents.

They rarely counsel out students who misbehave. At times I think this is compassionate. There have been girls caught using drugs who were allowed to seek treatment and stay. I think thats probably more likely to help the student than kicking her out and i agree with this approach (when used in a considered manner). but the unwillingness to take on behavior that is harmful to the community, like cheating, like bullying (not just snarkiness, but girls known by the administration for relentless meanness, targetting specific girls) is, I believe, a fear of the parents -- either their donations, or that they would sue, or that it would somehow hurt the school's rep.

[Anonymous]

Agree. It's fear of the parents. Fear of doing something .

[Anonymous]

There is a double standard (not necessarily unique to NCS) where students whose parents are connected with the school (especially on the board) are given more leniency than other students

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a double standard (not necessarily unique to NCS) where students whose parents are connected with the school (especially on the board) are given more leniency than other students

PP NCS parent here. I don't think the problem is favoritism, I think its a reluctance to cross any parents on anything. Or maybe the better way to put it is that the school administration is too weak to form a counterweight to all the negative pressures from parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a double standard (not necessarily unique to NCS) where students whose parents are connected with the school (especially on the board) are given more leniency than other students

This was defn the case with college admissions when I was there in the late 90s. Big donors kids got preferential treatment. I refuse to give for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know of girls in my daughter's class who voted with their feet. And many more who wished they had.

Attrition remains very low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a double standard (not necessarily unique to NCS) where students whose parents are connected with the school (especially on the board) are given more leniency than other students

This was defn the case with college admissions when I was there in the late 90s. Big donors kids got preferential treatment. I refuse to give for this reason.

This is not unique to NCS. Private schools wouldn't last long if they didn't take care of the big donors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a double standard (not necessarily unique to NCS) where students whose parents are connected with the school (especially on the board) are given more leniency than other students

This was defn the case with college admissions when I was there in the late 90s. Big donors kids got preferential treatment. I refuse to give for this reason.

This is not unique to NCS. Private schools wouldn't last long if they didn't take care of the big donors.

+1. I saw it in action at a different area private. It was our friends' kid, so I'm not particularly dismayed. We knew their donation was in the 5 figures. The exmissions outcome was, shall we say, surprising.

[Anonymous]

I've heard of a respected teacher flying to meet an admissions officer in person to explain the merits of the DC of a big time [six figure] donor.

[Anonymous]

I'm not he school's biggest fan but I know they have also turned down some big donors as well.

[Anonymous]

What is out-placement like for girls who reject the social climate? Does anyone have experience with admissions at alternative schools when girls are candid that they did not like the NCS culture? How do the administration and teachers react to girls rejecting NCS because they are not willing to tolerate what this post discusses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is out-placement like for girls who reject the social climate? Does anyone have experience with admissions at alternative schools when girls are candid that they did not like the NCS culture? How do the administration and teachers react to girls rejecting NCS because they are not willing to tolerate what this post discusses?

What an inane question. What real DD is thinking of applying to NCS but already plans to transfer out in a few years to an alternative school because they "know" they will not like the culture? Stop bumping the thread, idiot.

FWIW, I have no connection to NCS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is out-placement like for girls who reject the social climate? Does anyone have experience with admissions at alternative schools when girls are candid that they did not like the NCS culture? How do the administration and teachers react to girls rejecting NCS because they are not willing to tolerate what this post discusses?

DD did exactly this. (PP, there's no need to be so nasty -- there's no indication that this poster is applying as opposed to having a child there. Since my DD did exactly what this poster is asking I think its a perfectly fine question). I don't want to identify her but she was seriously unhappy and we realized at a pretty high grade that it just wasn't worth it. The teachers and administration were completely supportive. The line we kept hearing is that they just wanted her to be somewhere where she would be happy. This is somewhat two-edged as I thought they were supportive for the most part because they didn't want to have to deal with the source of her unhappiness and were just as happy to see her leave. I also got the sense that the teachers, in particular, know there's something rotten about the climate at NCS. In any event. its the best parenting decision we ever made. DD LOVED her new school -- and the contrast made us realize how unhealthy the situation was at NCS -- and was admitted to a top SLAC. The other parents at NCS give you the sense that you are sacrificing your DD's entire future if she leaves. I think thats the myth they tell themselves to get through all the unhappiness. Then you hear about the NCS grads who go off to college and have to "take time out" because they are so fried from their NCS experience. I feel unbelievably happy that we dodged that bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is out-placement like for girls who reject the social climate? Does anyone have experience with admissions at alternative schools when girls are candid that they did not like the NCS culture? How do the administration and teachers react to girls rejecting NCS because they are not willing to tolerate what this post discusses?

What an inane question. What real DD is thinking of applying to NCS but already plans to transfer out in a few years to an alternative school because they "know" they will not like the culture? Stop bumping the thread, idiot.

FWIW, I have no connection to NCS.

7:40 again. You are the idiot. This is a legitimate question. If you have no connection to NCS why are you so hostile about this? And why are you assuming this poster's daughter is applying as opposed to already being there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is out-placement like for girls who reject the social climate? Does anyone have experience with admissions at alternative schools when girls are candid that they did not like the NCS culture? How do the administration and teachers react to girls rejecting NCS because they are not willing to tolerate what this post discusses?

DD did exactly this. (PP, there's no need to be so nasty -- there's no indication that this poster is applying as opposed to having a child there. Since my DD did exactly what this poster is asking I think its a perfectly fine question). I don't want to identify her but she was seriously unhappy and we realized at a pretty high grade that it just wasn't worth it. The teachers and administration were completely supportive. The line we kept hearing is that they just wanted her to be somewhere where she would be happy. This is somewhat two-edged as I thought they were supportive for the most part because they didn't want to have to deal with the source of her unhappiness and were just as happy to see her leave. I also got the sense that the teachers, in particular, know there's something rotten about the climate at NCS. In any event. its the best parenting decision we ever made. DD LOVED her new school -- and the contrast made us realize how unhealthy the situation was at NCS -- and was admitted to a top SLAC. The other parents at NCS give you the sense that you are sacrificing your DD's entire future if she leaves. I think thats the myth they tell themselves to get through all the unhappiness. Then you hear about the NCS grads who go off to college and have to "take time out" because they are so fried from their NCS experience. I feel unbelievably happy that we dodged that bullet.

PP is talking about applying to a school she and her DD both KNOW they will hate and will want to transfer out of in a few years. Either PP is a complete fake just trying to stir this particular pot again, or she's an idiot. Your situation is completely different, because you got into it still thinking she would like it. No, that was a troll post.