Dear middle-aged women: capri pants do nothing for you.

[Anonymous]

But Jackie kennedy wore capris!
And you, op, are no Jackie kennedy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't let me see you hiking a nature center trail in your linen pantsuit and heels....

No, she is going to hike in long jeans, sweat pouring off her body, because she thinks showing a few inches of calf will draw attention to her derriere.

What's wrong with shorts?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

You don't have to explain. We know the type. You look constipated. NP here.

What grown adult judges other adults and pretends she doesn't? A very frustrated, lonely, failed individual. You will never be happy.

Guess what? We don't care.

Y'all are just the best, best, best thing about DCUM. You're all mean and judgy and when someone gives it back to you, you start calling names like a bunch of three year olds.

I criticized a pair of pants. Y'all started in on my face, psychology, and personal life. Who's the mean girl?

Rock your capris. Be dumpy and proud, if that's what you want to do. You deserve to be as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

You don't have to explain. We know the type. You look constipated. NP here.

What grown adult judges other adults and pretends she doesn't? A very frustrated, lonely, failed individual. You will never be happy.

Guess what? We don't care.

Y'all are just the best, best, best thing about DCUM. You're all mean and judgy and when someone gives it back to you, you start calling names like a bunch of three year olds.

I criticized a pair of pants. Y'all started in on my face, psychology, and personal life. Who's the mean girl?

Rock your capris. Be dumpy and proud, if that's what you want to do. You deserve to be as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.

NP here. You know, OP, I actually feel the same way as you do, so no criticism here. When I see someone like you, looking me over with "smug superiority" based on my clothes, I am also "mildly pleased." Mildly pleased that you are pathetic enough to think that being "younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier" is what makes you superior. I think to myself, I am probably smarter, better educated, and far wealthier than you. So I smile at you, pick my dumpy self, and go on my merry way feeling mildly pleased that I am older, smarter, and wealthier than you, and have more important things to think about than whether or not you are rocking your skinny jeans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't let me see you hiking a nature center trail in your linen pantsuit and heels....

No, she is going to hike in long jeans, sweat pouring off her body, because she thinks showing a few inches of calf will draw attention to her derriere.

What's wrong with shorts?

There is nothing wrong with shorts. I just feel as though *my* days of wearing shorts are over. I prefer capris/cropped pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please don't let me see you hiking a nature center trail in your linen pantsuit and heels....

No, she is going to hike in long jeans, sweat pouring off her body, because she thinks showing a few inches of calf will draw attention to her derriere.

What's wrong with shorts?

somehow, when I wear shorts, I feel like I look like a boy scout (well, short shorts don't look that way, but I'm far too old, being middle-aged, to wear short shorts... nobody needs to see the blue-white glare of my fatty thighs... so my shorts look like scout shorts.) And there are few things less feminine than a boy scout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

You don't have to explain. We know the type. You look constipated. NP here.

What grown adult judges other adults and pretends she doesn't? A very frustrated, lonely, failed individual. You will never be happy.

Guess what? We don't care.

Y'all are just the best, best, best thing about DCUM. You're all mean and judgy and when someone gives it back to you, you start calling names like a bunch of three year olds.

I criticized a pair of pants. Y'all started in on my face, psychology, and personal life. Who's the mean girl?

Rock your capris. Be dumpy and proud, if that's what you want to do. You deserve to be as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside.

Yeah but we are rich, so nothing else matters. Least of all, you. Including your opinion about what we wear. Suck it.

[Anonymous]

Marilyn Monroe in capris

http://bettinasimpressions.blogspot.com/2013/03/marilyn-monroe.html

[Anonymous]

Let's be real, if anyone on this thread had "more important things to think about" it wouldn't be 19 pages long.

[Anonymous]

I'm pulling out the capris today. Haters, start the hating!

[Anonymous]

The majority of you who think you are rocking your shorts need to be wearing capris!

[Anonymous]

Curious - what length are capris? Just below the knee? Mid calf? Or just above the ankles? Or all of the above.

Apologies if this was covered in the first 18 pages. I finally just got curious how this thread could be so long and only skimmed the last two pages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all you Capri lovers - try ankle pants - they are the new version of capris in this day and age.

I have great legs, so wearing ankle pants instead of capris is like hiding my light under a bushel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious - what length are capris? Just below the knee? Mid calf? Or just above the ankles? Or all of the above.

Apologies if this was covered in the first 18 pages. I finally just got curious how this thread could be so long and only skimmed the last two pages.

I confess to having read all 19 pages and the answer is not entirely clear to me.

From what I gather, the major sin capris commit is to end in the middle of your calf where it is widest. This is said to make you look "stumpy." a great word I have failed to use often enough in my many decades.

I too am wondering if the capirs police find it acceptable to wear pants that end just below the knees. Some of the anti-capris brigade seem to approve of ankle pants, which I believe end a few inches above the ankle.

Clarifications appreciated!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The majority of you who think you are rocking your shorts need to be wearing capris!

Seriously, cover those nasty things up. You are not as sexy as you think.