Dear middle-aged women: capri pants do nothing for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Count me in, too .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

Wow. This is truly mean spirited. And I don't even wear capris.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

Ha. Here's a secret: We capri wearing ladies laugh at YOU, too . We just aren't obvious about it. Doesn't mean we don't do it, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Count me in, too .

More power to you. The thing is, no one is seething. If you see someone walking around with old food and vomit smeared across their shirt, are you *seething* at their appearance or just wondering why they left the house like that?

Same with capris.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

I'm young too but Jesus I hope time isn't kind to your face and you remember this conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

I'm young too but Jesus I hope time isn't kind to your face and you remember this conversation.

Big difference between aging and bad fashion choices "gleefully" made. Women can look beautiful and stylish at any age. Some women anyway. I wouldn't count on PP looking attractive at any age, whether it was 20 or 50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Count me in, too .

More power to you. The thing is, no one is seething. If you see someone walking around with old food and vomit smeared across their shirt, are you *seething* at their appearance or just wondering why they left the house like that?

Same with capris.

So in your eyes wearing capris is akin to walking around wearing soiled clothes? I think you seriously need to get a grip.

Yes, crisp white linen pants and billowy skirts can look fresh and fashionable. But there are times when capris are a *MUCH* better, more comfortable and more practical choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

That attitude is even ugly and more aging to the face and to the inside. Fashion can never cover up an ugly personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

Sure, honey. Enjoy. Have a ball.

- a middle-aged woman who has lived long enough to know that life's too short for that bullshit

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing. No one said non-capris will erase bottom-heaviness. The point is to wear clothes that do not accentuate it or draw attention to it. Capris do to opposite. As many have mentioned, they cut the calf in half at its widest point, and the weird proportions draw the eye towards the hips and make most people look stubby. People are suggesting linen pants because they are a cooler fabric and because they usually are cut so that the have a nice line from hip to ankle that goes to a very gradual but small flare at the ankle to balance out the hips. This makes the legs appear longer and de-emphasizes the hips because there is not an abrupt ending to the pants that draws the eyes. Linen pants on someone with hips will not disguise the hips, but they won't highlight them either. If you don't care and the goal is to be comfy in the summer appearance be damned, maybe just wear shorts. I'm not OP, but I think the point of starting this thread was to let people who are know that capri pants look awful on everyone because it does seem to me that many people think they are a more attractive alternative to shorts for people who don't think they look good in shorts. And they are not. But people can still decide to ignore this info and wear whatever they want.

For the apple shaped among us, the baggy linen pant that falls straight down tends to make us look like a sofa standing on end. Not to mention the wrinkles. And a skirt is not a great look either, as it is too fluffy unflattering (mid calf -- my grandmother) and not but so comfy. Pencil skirt vs capris. No contest. So sorry girls its capri/ crop time.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. I think they can look good on tall, thin people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As if I didn't love my capri pants enough, now, every time I wear them, I will enjoy the added bonus of pissing you off. I'm going to prance around town in my capris, relishing the breeze against my ankles, and gleefully wondering which uptight bitter women are silently seething over something that affects them not. one. bit.

I'm joining you

Here's the thing. I'm not seething. If I notice you, I am mildly amused at your bad taste and dumpy calves. I am mildly pleased that I look so much better than you do = younger, thinner, more fashionable, prettier. It's not silently seething. It's more pleased, smug superiority.

You don't have to explain. We know the type. You look constipated. NP here.

What grown adult judges other adults and pretends she doesn't? A very frustrated, lonely, failed individual. You will never be happy.

Guess what? We don't care.

[Anonymous]

Please don't let me see you hiking a nature center trail in your linen pantsuit and heels....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don't let me see you hiking a nature center trail in your linen pantsuit and heels....

No, she is going to hike in long jeans, sweat pouring off her body, because she thinks showing a few inches of calf will draw attention to her derriere.