SIL plotted to inherit estates from childless aunts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

You think OP was going to take it upon herself to take time off work, travel to aunt’s city, clean out her house, and take responsibility for the probate process? That’s laughable! She hasn’t even kept in touch with aunt except when she’s in town visiting other relatives as well.

Why would OP have been expecting to hear anything about aunt’s will? This isn’t a soap opera. Every living extended relative isn’t invited to the reading of the will.

If OP genuinely suspects elder abuse in the form of coercion regarding the will, she should report it to authorities. Otherwise, this has nothing to do with her. The same is true of the busybodies who are spreading the aunts’ private affairs all over the place. If they suspect elder abuse in financial form, they should report it. Otherwise, they’re just generating conflict for no good reason.

+100 All the people bleating on about next of kin don't seem to realize -- that's not what OP is. Even if her aunt died intestate the money wouldn't be "split evenly" between OP and her brother. She wouldn't see a dime; it would go to living siblings not nieces and nephews. So it gets even weirder when people think that OP would/should have hired an investigator to find out what happened to her missing portion upon her aunts' eventual deaths -- she has no portion! This money was never going to be hers!

People are watching too much Succession.

FYI, lots of people who have wills and are old, redirect things to skip a generation as their generation in their 80s is usually all set. Medicare, long term care, insurance, mandatory withdrawal, downsized or in care homes.

Dynasty trusts also accomplish this and prevent new spouses and step siblings from “accidentally” obtaining everything.

There's no accident when a person of sound mind and body drafts a will. One aunt left everything to charity. That was an action, not an accident. Another aunt left everything to her favorite nephew and his wife. Not an accident.

This is like me being furious that my brother's high school baseball coach left him a mitt and nothing to me. OP had no reason to expect she would make money off of these women's deaths and it's crazy to take to the internet to denounce how she's been wronged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

You think OP was going to take it upon herself to take time off work, travel to aunt’s city, clean out her house, and take responsibility for the probate process? That’s laughable! She hasn’t even kept in touch with aunt except when she’s in town visiting other relatives as well.

Why would OP have been expecting to hear anything about aunt’s will? This isn’t a soap opera. Every living extended relative isn’t invited to the reading of the will.

If OP genuinely suspects elder abuse in the form of coercion regarding the will, she should report it to authorities. Otherwise, this has nothing to do with her. The same is true of the busybodies who are spreading the aunts’ private affairs all over the place. If they suspect elder abuse in financial form, they should report it. Otherwise, they’re just generating conflict for no good reason.

+100 All the people bleating on about next of kin don't seem to realize -- that's not what OP is. Even if her aunt died intestate the money wouldn't be "split evenly" between OP and her brother. She wouldn't see a dime; it would go to living siblings not nieces and nephews. So it gets even weirder when people think that OP would/should have hired an investigator to find out what happened to her missing portion upon her aunts' eventual deaths -- she has no portion! This money was never going to be hers!

People are watching too much Succession.

FYI, lots of people who have wills and are old, redirect things to skip a generation as their generation in their 80s is usually all set. Medicare, long term care, insurance, mandatory withdrawal, downsized or in care homes.

Dynasty trusts also accomplish this and prevent new spouses and step siblings from “accidentally” obtaining everything.

There's no accident when a person of sound mind and body drafts a will. One aunt left everything to charity. That was an action, not an accident. Another aunt left everything to her favorite nephew and his wife. Not an accident.

This is like me being furious that my brother's high school baseball coach left him a mitt and nothing to me. OP had no reason to expect she would make money off of these women's deaths and it's crazy to take to the internet to denounce how she's been wronged.

Agree. The potential recent will changes are not an accident on the aunt nor brother and SIL side at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you’re alarmed, talk to your aunts about this now, while they’re still alive. If you’re not willing to speak with them, let this go. Don’t silently stew or gossip behind aunts’ and SIL’s backs. Either way, you’ll be much happier if you unburden yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you’re alarmed, talk to your aunts about this now, while they’re still alive. If you’re not willing to speak with them, let this go. Don’t silently stew or gossip behind aunts’ and SIL’s backs. Either way, you’ll be much happier if you unburden yourself.

This. If your SIL is so desperate for money, let her be. She can help the childless aunts in their old age and earn her inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

The information, once proven true, just pulled forward the inevitable drama.
Now the aunt can be alive to see the obvious fallout, which she may indeed intend and relish.
After all, as you previously pointed out, it was not an accidental change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

The information pulled forward the inevitable drama.
Now the aunt can be alive to see the obvious fallout, which she may indeed intend and relish.
After all, as you previously pointed out, it was not an accidental change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

Ambulance chasers aren’t normal people. But they do love gaslighting, secrets and drama!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

Aaaaaaaand, PP is still not responding to the question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in our sixties, recently lost parents on both sides of the family and my DH and I are still reeling from some of the behavior we have observed by siblings and a catty SIL. It’s disheartening to realize that we had siblings who were nice to our faces while manipulating our parents in one case to leave a business to only one sibling. Discouraging to realize that our parents were dishonest with us while they were alive and saddened to realize that ultimately one brother is more interested in hitting the jackpot than in having a relationship with siblings, nieces, nephews, etc. (someone who at the funeral told his siblings they could only talk to him through his lawyer.) it’s sad as the holidays approach to realize that due to inheritance dramas we are unlikely to ever have a big family Christmas ever again. And it sounds a bit silly but we are wondering who exactly to invite to our son’s weddings.

So sorry. It’s bizarre how badly behaved close and not close relatives get when they sniff that there’s money, property and assets to be had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

The information pulled forward the inevitable drama.
Now the aunt can be alive to see the obvious fallout, which she may indeed intend and relish.
After all, as you previously pointed out, it was not an accidental change.

I would definitely not answer the phone if my greedy niece was calling sniffing about "her inheritance" after gossiping about my finance with my EX-husband! The nerve.

[Anonymous]

Exactly, the first sniffer gets the worm, even if an in law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

The irony here is maybe the aunt is leaving something to OP and the person who gossiped was sh!t stirring or misinformed. And then OP starts talking about how it's so unfair and maybe the aunt really will leave all to SIL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What you call "schmoozing", unmarried aunts might call "company." Being elderly is lonely. Yes, it's nice that you've visited for all these years 1-2x a year, but if SIL calls once or twice a week every week and chats away with them....well, I'd leave her money, too. That's legitimately kind and thoughtful.

Is there a chance that they legitimately feel closer to her than to you or your brother?

You’d leave her money too or leave her, and only her, all the money?

One aunt is leaving some money and donating the rest. Seems nobody likes OP and her family here.

That’s not clear today from what I read.

But there will definitely be a rift between the sibling families once this all goes down. And SIL, entirety and auntie know it, because they created it.

There’s only a rift because OP thinks she’s entitled.

And why is SIL entitled?

Because aunt named her in the will as a beneficiary. Maybe that was a foolish decision; maybe it was a great one. She could leave her entire estate to her cat if she wanted to. It’s her money and her choice what to do with it.

And the negative fallout will be as expected.
You can’t keep that a secret.

Ask any estate or family law attorney what happens in the few non obvious cases things are not decided equally, especially in small American families.

These siblings are not close. Their primary responsibilities are to their own families. It won't matter at all in the long run.

We don’t know that, but we do know they won’t be for much longer!
OP can always laugh it off and stay busy, but know they chose to passively or actively screw them out of at least one person’s will.

They can’t be screwed out of something that isn’t theirs.

That’s some twisted illogic for playing favorites and screwing over someone.

The ONLY way to not screw over your next of kin is to give everyone who’s not a felon or addict or primary caretaker equal parts. Could be zero for all, could be a pro rata for all.

Anything else will cause issues. The aunt, uncle, brother and SIL know that, but hope to not be confronted now or later. That’s their bet.

It’s a shame that a couple gossips couldn’t keep their traps shut. OP didn’t ever need to know about this.

Unless OP is an idiot, what was the family going to say when the aunt passes, a death certificate is issued, stuff needs clearing out, retirement accounts need administering, the will is read, etc.?

Oh nothing to see here? See you later.?

OP and everyone would know then. Would SIL turn around and lie? Oh, I think everything’s going to the Smithsonian zoo, oh well!

OP shows up at the funeral with her hand out?

SIL flies in for the funeral to pocket everything and lie about it?

SIL is under no obligation to make any financial disclosures regarding aunt’s estate to anyone but the probate court. She doesn’t need to tell any lies.

Lies of omission are indeed lies, especially amongst two siblings.

If this scenario is true (executor, 100% inheritor), it will permanently damage the brother / sister and their families’ relationship.

You cannot deny that.

🙄 Normal people don’t consider keeping one’s personal finances private counts as a lie of omission.

The only reason why any of this is causing any strife is because other people in the aunts’ lives are spilling the tea on their estate planning — which isn’t everyone’s business and isn’t a nice thing to do. One of the people doing it is the man an auntie divorced in the last few years. Think the guy likes creating drama in his ex’s family???

The irony here is maybe the aunt is leaving something to OP and the person who gossiped was sh!t stirring or misinformed. And then OP starts talking about how it's so unfair and maybe the aunt really will leave all to SIL!

There is no way OP can bring this up without being tacky and inappropriate. She is SOL.