SIL plotted to inherit estates from childless aunts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Unfortunately this ended up as a First Come, First Served situation and the relatives didn’t care that it was a spouse of a relative nor to ask around.

Bear in mind, the executioner of a will can, in reality, do whatever s/he wants with the house, money, art, vehicles, or even body. That’s the prize. That’s why an aunt would want the most truthworthy non-family member following the orders— surely an out of state schmoozing spouse of a nephew…

Sorry Op, you’ve all been had. That’s why it’s a secret.

How can the executor do whatever they want with the house when there are other heirs? I also do not see how an executor could do whatever they want with anything that can be tracked, like money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Unfortunately this ended up as a First Come, First Served situation and the relatives didn’t care that it was a spouse of a relative nor to ask around.

Bear in mind, the executioner of a will can, in reality, do whatever s/he wants with the house, money, art, vehicles, or even body. That’s the prize. That’s why an aunt would want the most truthworthy non-family member following the orders— surely an out of state schmoozing spouse of a nephew…

Sorry Op, you’ve all been had. That’s why it’s a secret.

How can the executor do whatever they want with the house when there are other heirs? I also do not see how an executor could do whatever they want with anything that can be tracked, like money.

PP knows nothing about being the “executioner” of a will or how probate works.

[Anonymous]

SIL isn't some random stranger who swooped in lol. Im guessing she's been married to the brother for decades, so the one aunt is leaving her money to her NEWPHEW and his wife (not "random schmoozer who slipped in a couple of years ago") and the other is leaving the money to charity. Their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You snooze, you lose.

Most people don’t have the audacity to ask their spouse’s aunt or uncle to manage their estate. Or love bomb them with emails, letters and invites. Those would be red flags to me. Maybe those women are all peas in the same pod.

The audacity to show the old women that you give a shit? I’d reward that too over the family that can’t be bothered. They are probably lonely as all get out and will take what they can get.

How is the new wife “showing this” versus the other nieces or nephews?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You snooze, you lose.

Most people don’t have the audacity to ask their spouse’s aunt or uncle to manage their estate. Or love bomb them with emails, letters and invites. Those would be red flags to me. Maybe those women are all peas in the same pod.

The audacity to show the old women that you give a shit? I’d reward that too over the family that can’t be bothered. They are probably lonely as all get out and will take what they can get.

How is the new wife “showing this” versus the other nieces or nephews?

The "new wife" where did you get that she is new? OP says exactly how she got to this point. She was present and involved. It's very obvious. OP can come back and tell us exactly how much time everyone has invested in these aunts but she clearly says this one "swooped" in. Presumably while everyone else rested on their laurels counting chickens not yet hatched. Too bad, so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and I are each married with kids, to our respective spouses, and live in various states away from our hometown. My spouse and I work, my brother’s wife does not.

I just found out that several years ago my brother’s wife secretly positioned herself as each of my 2 married childless aunt’s estate administrators. In one case she and my brother are now set to inherit 100% of everything. In the other case, she will get a hefty 6 figure “admin fee” and the rest will be donated.

The first set was having health issues and divorced; she swept in with emails, letters and feigned concerned and got an ill aunt to change things. The second set she pitched something and who knows what the will says now.

I guess my brother went along with it and never told anyone, even our parents or me.

The divorced uncle informed me recently as they moved. The other aunt told a family member who told me. Ironically I work in investing and with deal lawyers, estate attorneys and tax attorneys all the time.

I’m really disgusted by this all. The lack of communication, transparency and omissions.

What does the working status have to do with any of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Unfortunately this ended up as a First Come, First Served situation and the relatives didn’t care that it was a spouse of a relative nor to ask around.

Bear in mind, the executioner of a will can, in reality, do whatever s/he wants with the house, money, art, vehicles, or even body. That’s the prize. That’s why an aunt would want the most truthworthy non-family member following the orders— surely an out of state schmoozing spouse of a nephew…

Sorry Op, you’ve all been had. That’s why it’s a secret.

How can the executor do whatever they want with the house when there are other heirs? I also do not see how an executor could do whatever they want with anything that can be tracked, like money.

I need to track a will, its directives, and where the assets and money exactly went too.
How do I do this? Who do I call?
If there was no public record will but a revocable trust outside of probate, how does one check that everything was followed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother and I are each married with kids, to our respective spouses, and live in various states away from our hometown. My spouse and I work, my brother’s wife does not.

I just found out that several years ago my brother’s wife secretly positioned herself as each of my 2 married childless aunt’s estate administrators. In one case she and my brother are now set to inherit 100% of everything. In the other case, she will get a hefty 6 figure “admin fee” and the rest will be donated.

The first set was having health issues and divorced; she swept in with emails, letters and feigned concerned and got an ill aunt to change things. The second set she pitched something and who knows what the will says now.

I guess my brother went along with it and never told anyone, even our parents or me.

The divorced uncle informed me recently as they moved. The other aunt told a family member who told me. Ironically I work in investing and with deal lawyers, estate attorneys and tax attorneys all the time.

I’m really disgusted by this all. The lack of communication, transparency and omissions.

What does the working status have to do with any of this?

Because OP is too busy and self absorbed to care about her extended family so it's just not fair that her SIL put in the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Unfortunately this ended up as a First Come, First Served situation and the relatives didn’t care that it was a spouse of a relative nor to ask around.

Bear in mind, the executioner of a will can, in reality, do whatever s/he wants with the house, money, art, vehicles, or even body. That’s the prize. That’s why an aunt would want the most truthworthy non-family member following the orders— surely an out of state schmoozing spouse of a nephew…

Sorry Op, you’ve all been had. That’s why it’s a secret.

How can the executor do whatever they want with the house when there are other heirs? I also do not see how an executor could do whatever they want with anything that can be tracked, like money.

PP knows nothing about being the “executioner” of a will or how probate works.

That’s besides the point. First you fly in, get the keys, pick over all the jewelry and art you want, then go to the reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Recency bias is real OP. Forget the last 50 years, all that matters is the last few.

Unfortunately this ended up as a First Come, First Served situation and the relatives didn’t care that it was a spouse of a relative nor to ask around.

Bear in mind, the executioner of a will can, in reality, do whatever s/he wants with the house, money, art, vehicles, or even body. That’s the prize. That’s why an aunt would want the most truthworthy non-family member following the orders— surely an out of state schmoozing spouse of a nephew…

Sorry Op, you’ve all been had. That’s why it’s a secret.

How can the executor do whatever they want with the house when there are other heirs? I also do not see how an executor could do whatever they want with anything that can be tracked, like money.

Nothing is tracked. I could just cremate you for $2k, go home with everything and file my own tax returns and transfers. I’m the trustee or PoA at that point. If anyone asks I say it’s private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, ah, how often do you visit these childless aunts, OP? I'm thinking pretty much never?

+1

+2

The money belongs to your aunts to do with as they wish - whether that’s to spend every red cent, give it away to charity, light it on fire to roast marshmallows (although destroying currency might be illegal?), or even leave to your SIL. Even if you were their (only) child, they would not be obligated to leave it to you. As you are not their child, you should have no expectations of inheritance. Anything they leave you is a bonus.

It would be a different matter if they weren’t independent and mentally competent. If they were dependent on her for care and she was isolating them from the rest of the family, I’d share your outrage, but you give no evidence of mistreatment. To the contrary, your post seems to imply that since your primary concern is their money, that any concern from your SIL must be feigned. With that attitude, it is unsurprising that your aunts chose to leave their money elsewhere. On the other hand, if you actually care about them as individuals, just be happy that they felt close enough to your SIL to want to leave her money.

In the meantime, their finances are none of your business. The divorced uncle and other family member were out of line to tell you anything about their will. If they had felt it was any of your business, they would have told you themselves. Ironically, I would think that someone who works with attorneys all the time would appreciate the importance of confidentiality.

That’s false, you’re projecting. The primary issue seems to be loss of trust in what happened, how it happened and in her brother & SIL.

Everyone was far away and seeing each other over the adult years.

The loss of trust is driven by: “‘ The lack of communication, transparency and omissions. ‘“

[Anonymous]

Sorry your brother's wife takes care of family that you are too good for. Glad to see he married up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you work in finance, concentrate on your own money. You know you can take a small sum and turn it into millions. Concentrate on that.
All this estate thing is time consuming. You should be glad someone else is doing it.
The aunts decide what to do with their money.

This. It is a ton of work and otherwise they'd ne hiring a lawyer or accountant or taking advantage of a relative. Presumably she will visit them and check on them too and it's expensive to hire people to do that. Focus on investing your own money well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Their money, OP, not yours.

Unless you think these aunts are childless incompetent creatures?

They are childless, yes.

Most old people become incompetent if they remain and good physical health for a long time.

"Creature" is out of line. Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

Tricia?