Is "sugar" a thing in DMV upper class?

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Patience. The ones I listed are my best / longest ones.

It is easy to screen for scammers and catfish. Within the first five messages I ask them to schedule a video call to talk for 5-10mins.

The bigger issue is finding a great match. For every one I listed there are two meets that did not go well. No connection, no chemistry, bad sex. Or the “sugar baby” has the attitude of an escort or pro vibe to her (lots of those!)

DC girls are in general less attractive than LA/Miami/NYC (I use seeking when I travel too). But yes there are attractive to really hot girls. All of mine were 7.5-8s. I don’t bother chasing the 9/10s. the super hot model types will need 1k a meet and sex is usually forgetful just like sex with a 10 pillow princess in the vanilla world 🤣


Anonymous wrote:How do you sort through all of the potential scammers on Seeking. Do most of these women look as good as they do in their photos?


quote=Anonymous]I’m divorced two years, almost 50 and have been using seeking the most popular sugar site since my divorce. I have two little kids share 50/50 with mom so mainly I have no time or emotional energy for normal dating. That plus an average looking divorced single dad 50 don’t have much success on OLD apps. I just don’t have time to socialize and find dates the normal way as I did 20-30yrs ago. I’ve had many sugarships, but I’m posting the memorable ones below. Sugaring is definitely a thing and quite prevalent here in DMV. I live in Arlington FYI.

1. Let’s call her Tina the one that got away. 26, blonde, only fans soft core model and DC club bottle service girl. We met for drinks in Tyson’s and immediately hit it off. She was fun beautiful and had such a bubbling personality. Sex was great. I could tell she was really into me (guys she dated in past all kinda had same look as me) We dated for about 3mo she would drive to meet me from Hagerstown 1-2 times a week. $400 per meet. Usually at my place drinking and sex. She cancelled a date and I was so dumb to end things with her over it. She was a no drama perfect sugar baby. I was new to sugar and didn’t appreciate a good thing I had because of so many options

2. Let’s call her Lily, the girl who broke my heart. This one is kind of cringe in so many ways. She was 18 and I wasn’t sure about it. Pale skin, black hair beauty who was unbelievably intelligent. Living alone since 15 her life was a complete mess. We met for lunch and it was meh. But we kept in touch. Found out she tried to kill herself and ended up in ER. She didn’t seem to have any friends or family nearby after she came home from ER a few days later I invited her over just so she could have someone to talk to, and eat! She hadn’t eaten for days. We talked till 3am and I was sure I’m not getting into any arrangement with her. But I felt so sorry for her a girl so smart not in school with no prospects for future. Broken home, raised by foster parents, clearly the most traumatic childhood of anyone I knew. But since she was so smart she had turned herself into a classy well spoken young girl not trashy at all as would be expected. We stayed in touch. I really admired her independence and intelligence more than anything. Yeah she looked great but she was 18 lol! She did indicate she was interested in an arrangement but there wasn’t much sexual chemistry mostly I guess because of the age diff and we both feeling weird about it. She flew home a few weeks later and when she came back was sick for a week and after lots of text back and forth I called her and told her I’m picking her up and taking her to ER. Spent the day with her in the hospital. Bought her groceries when I dropped her home. Couple weeks later we met for lunch in Tyson’s. She looked nice. Went back to my place to listen to music and chill. Having been talking for weeks were getting friendly by now and she told me how much she appreciated me taking care of her at ER etc. She excused herself. Came back in a skimpy white lingerie.. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination but it was amazing and so our arrangement started. I was giving her 5k a month she’d meet up 2-3 times a week stay over sometimes. We connected. Bonded. She would stay over for hours talking about her life and I kept feeling more and more “caring” towards her. But her intense childhood and family trauma meant there was an unbelievable amount of drama. And instead of being a sugar daddy her age meant I kept having “dad” type feelings for her. I wanted to her her on therapy to heal. It was weird And emotions all over the place. Months in I hear ” I love you “ and stupid me (I should have known better) said it back. A month later everything ended. The end was horrid. She moved back home. It hurt a lot. I decided no more exclusive arrangements for me.

3. Francesca the former porn star. She was mid late 20s now but still looked as great as in her younger porn days. She is smart, has a college degree and comes across as a normal cute gnd type unless you try to reverse image search (lol) She was extremely submissive in all ways. Sex was super as expected from a former porn star. But she was such a cool chill person. We would hang out a lot, watch movies go out to eat. No drama. Did I say great sex? I’d watch her old vids and tell her I went to do that and she was more than game! Every time! Perfect communication and logistics too. She had a good head on her shoulders. I’d pay 500 per meet and I guess she liked me enough and would stay overnight and even weekends never asking for more $ than we agreed to. I guess she found a rich SD who locked her into an exclusive thing. I’d love to meet her again any time ..

4. Let’s call her Anastasia the Princess. About 30, blonde divorced with no kids. Her ex hubby took care of her financially so she never gained any workplace skills but got used to a lux life. She had limited options to sugaring but the best part she seems really into me. I see her 2-4 times a month. $500 a meet. But since she is so normal and the kind of person I’d associate with in real life we go out lots to eat, hang out at park to hike etc. I don’t offer any $ for these she is the one calling and texting me to hang out. Like I said I feel like she might have a bit of crush on me but I don’t take advantage. If we meet to have sex I give her what I promised.

5. Let’s call her Laila. Could have met her on bumble she is 40/41 divorced Persian single mom with two little kids. Beautiful but has had a lot of work done. Has a grad degree from John Hopkins and professional job. But does this to get extra luxuries she couldn’t afford after her divorce. If you know these Persian girls they are high maintenance.. I paid her 600 and sex was great she was really into it. It’s like she can play out her porn star fantasies that she couldn’t with her ex husband .. But after a while I felt like we didn’t have much of a connection apart from sex (she wanted things discrete. Meet at hotel. I prefer more normal kind of arrangements doing other things besides that too) also since I match with 40yr plus single moms on OLD I felt it wasn’t as much of a novelty to be paying to have sex with her. Plus her kids and my kids meant logistics sucked.

6. Let’s call this one Raisa the Russia-Turkish minx. Mid 30s very classy elegant beautiful face and body. works a premier banker for a large bank dealing with high net worth guys. I guess that’s how she got into this. Her 80-100k bank job catering to multi millionaires all day must have created some luxxx cravings. Anyway we started off taking kinky things like bdsm and she was game (and it’s all new to me) so we started to exploring with some fun messing around like in the shades of grey movies lol. Because of her 9-5/mon to Friday job we don’t meet as much but I pay 700 a meet. Highest I’ve paid but she is a banker and tough negotiator. No regrets though. Yesterday we had 7hrs of sex. I kid you not. After 4hrs she looks at me and says how do I look after 4hr of sex. I say: hungry. So we go out for a quick bite. Come back for 3 more hours of sex. Somehow she keeps me going at my age. It’s her kissing that does it for me. And how she looks at me. Unlike Anastasia above I’m not sure if she is really into me or just a sex goddess who knows how to make the man feel like a sex god lol.

There have been plenty of forgetful meetings too. But overall it’s been good to great. I never did this while married though I hear most of the legit sugar daddies are married. But I definitely recommend it to any single 40+ guys who have extra $ to spare. It’s nothing like pros/escort/ick and there are genuine connections and chemistry coming out of many of these relationships. Not to mention the financial help they get from it

In hindsight my ex wife was my biggest sugar baby. When we met she just finished grad school and we decided she didn’t need to work full time as I made very high income. In 15yrs of marriage I brought in about 90-95% of HHI and we both liked it that way. I do come from a traditional family background and this is the norm in my circle. So helping these girls out is nothing out of the ordinary for me.



Reading this it sounds like you are having an o.k. time living this way. But how can you say you don't have the time or energy for real dating if you have all this stuff going on? How is an escort or pro vibe actually different from a porn star vibe? This seems pretty expensive and self-indulgent if nothing else. You also really lost me when you put your grad school educated ex wife in the sugar baby category - that was a pot shot. Did you expect more from her in exchange for your household contributions? Most of these women sound less educated than your ex-wife. Perhaps she was too much your intellectual equal and not impressed enough?

I hope you keep your kids away from all this stuff - even if some nice women will hike with you for free. Kids with good memories can put fact patterns together later based on very little evidence. Also if you have a daughter, be mindful of how you speak about her mother and don't date girls close to her age once she's a teen (or keep it out of her face).
Agree, this was a really interesting read, but PP definitely seems to have control issues since it almost sounds like he’s just trying to do regular dating but in a setting where the relationship begins and ends with his holding all the power, including having his expectations for sex presumptively supersede hers. The fact that even before he calls his ex a prost for money bc she didn’t have a career, he says that he comes from a traditional background where women stay home, and is therefore used to “helping these girls out”….yikes.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The problem with most sugar “relationships” is that they’re temporary and artificial. Few girls think about networking and how the relationship can pay off in the long run.

My favorite niece got a job a couple of years ago in a prominent research lab after graduating from a T-40 college, to get some experience before med or grad school. She never expected that the 50+ Director is tall, trim and had a full head of hair. But over the months working there she learned how unhappy he was, researching critical medical breakthroughs while his SAHM wife bugged him about the kids’ school things and her wanting to start her career but the kids’ emotional needs and her missing her Dad who passed away etc.

So my niece got to know him over the months of working together and happy hours and lunches and conferences, and they both realized how much they enjoyed each other’s company. And for those who think yeah right he’s stringing her along, the wife found photos on the cloud where they’re clearly thrilled to be spending PLATONIC time together. Wife issued an ultimatum, and HE LEFT the wife for my niece. So it’s real, NOT. a transaction. My niece and the Director are still together and just waiting for the divorce settlement so that they can be open with the kids and don’t pay the wife anything more than necessary.

Was my niece “sugar”? NO. He did not pay one dime to my niece beyond the LAB paying salary and benefits. My niece is far better off as she has built a successful career right out of school AND has a man who is far more established and mature than boys her own age.

Will it last forever? Will they get married? Who knows? But the relationship fits right now, and without any sneaky private exchange of funds. Everything is above board. He gets the vitality and respect he’s earned, and she gets the success and happiness that SHE’S earned. THAT’S how so-called May-December relationships should work: mutual sweetness.


The lab director sounds gross. Takes for granted his stay at home wife who enabled him to get ahead in his career while having a family because she is handling everything at home for him. Because he devalues her work at home, he has no respect for her. And cheats on her emotionally with a younger, childless woman. Does your niece think it’s going to work out long term with this narcissist?



SAHM is not a job. He could outsource her completely.

So you’re saying it’s multiple jobs. K
Anonymous
I thought this was going to be about diabetes.
Anonymous
If it makes him happy, why be a hater?


Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: do you think an escort/prostitute who had no interest/attraction/postivie feelings towards me would spend 8-12hr a day having sex with me? and then text me days later with cute reminders of our time together? lol I couldn't get my ex-wifey to do that after the first couple years of marriage ..


I've got no issue with you having fun, but don't act like if the "sugar" was spending as much time with you as your wife did, she'd be sending you cute texts. Familiarity breeds contempt. You think that chick would be into you if she had to see you all of the time and emitting sounds?

All she sees are $$ signs. It's cute to think that PP thinks she's actually into him though. I bet he thinks strippers like him too
Anonymous
To the sugar dude - Aren't you worried about them trying to baby trap you? 18 years of child support from a rich guy might sound nice...
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why even get married or stay married? Poor wives who probably work so hard to keep.up, stay relevant and attractive, manage household's and kids, and all while being cheated on repeatedly. So sad.


Don't fool yourself. These women know. They know they are not having sex as often as their husband's want and some even take pleasure in limiting sex as a power trip. Tons of these toxic relationships in the area.


Yes, this happened to me
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:seeking in DC covers a wide range of type of people. Ofc the cash strapped college girls, low level retail job single moms, girls with no jobs, bottle service or waitress types ... But with DMV being so expensive, means lots of "normal, well educated, well mannered" girls are to be found. in addition to my banker minx (she is not entry level teller, she is private banking, has her own office etc) I've met through seeking (all confirmed with a little bit of internet / linkedin sleuthing)

Deloitte Sr. manager
WETA production manager
a number of DC/NoVA non-profit employees (typically highly educated masters degree, low pay, very left leaning and sex positive)
and a couple of girls that worked for DOD contractors like CACI etc. if they are working for DOD they must be vetted/background checked and it boggles my mind they put themselves out there on a shady site like seeking ... but just goes to show there are tons of normal women sugaring too

to the women who liken sugaring to prostituation. I'd say not so. maybe similar, but not the same. on sugar dates I get rejected too. a lot. because if there is no base/minimal attraction the sugar baby isn't going to sleep with you not matter how much money you offer. with escorts, as long as you pay for "service" and pass the safety screening she will have sex with you. That's what make sugaring so much fun. do you think an escort/prostitute who had no interest/attraction/postivie feelings towards me would spend 8-12hr a day having sex with me? and then text me days later with cute reminders of our time together? lol I couldn't get my ex-wifey to do that after the first couple years of marriage ..

It speaks volumes this guy can give details on how sugaring is different from prostitution.

I said before, and I will say again, any man (or woman) who has made it in life enough that they have disposable money, they can find sex partners for free without having to pay for it even if average or homely looking.









Anonymous wrote:I'm surprised by how normal many of the women are that I have met on Seeking...great looking, nice, well educated, good manners etc. The one commonality I have found is they are stressed financially.


Anonymous wrote:i'm the guy you are responding to. "seeking" in general, just like tinder, is 90% full of garbage or incompatible matches. it takes a lot of work to find a good match and a ton more patience to find a great match.


Anonymous wrote:That sounds amazing!

It seems like the quality of the women is much higher on Seeking than you can get normally as a wealthy 50 year old guy. And these girls are well educated and surprisingly normal.



Anonymous wrote:I love how this thread doesn’t die. To the middle aged men of DCUM. Do it!

I’m divorced and never went outside my marriage but the post divorce dating market for almost 50yr old with young kids is ugh. Sugar is the best thing since sliced bread. if you have extra cash give it a go

Sugar and seeking and the blue pill have given me the best sex of my life. I’m the guy who posted about my experiences in this thread a few weeks ago. I met up with my Turk/slavic/minx banker baby last weekend again. 12hours of hot sex. Kinky. Role play. Experimental. Pushing boundaries. She brought a ton of outfits she modeled for me to enjoy. We had a quick room service dinner that we fed each other but were basically naked and intertwined for the whole of Saturday till like 2am 😈😈😈

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:To the sugar dude - Aren't you worried about them trying to baby trap you? 18 years of child support from a rich guy might sound nice...


Says someone totally unfamiliar with single parenting or child support.
Anonymous
Yes I am a woman who have met many men for sugaring. They likely won't admit it though since they're all married.
Anonymous
The people involved in long term extracurricular affairs in the DMV upper middle class just each pay their own way. Much easier to escape detection. If you're talking upper class like Ted Leonsis, no idea.
Anonymous
It’s more common than you think among the well off, 10 million+ net worth. You have money and your wife no longer puts out.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I thought this was going to be about diabetes.


Same
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:To the sugar dude - Aren't you worried about them trying to baby trap you? 18 years of child support from a rich guy might sound nice...


Says someone totally unfamiliar with single parenting or child support.


Rich guys get baby trapped for child support all the time. Look at all the athletes and actors with eye popping child support payments.
Anonymous
Does the sugar relationship ever turn into a real relationship? If so, do you have to have a conversation to change the terms?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Does the sugar relationship ever turn into a real relationship? If so, do you have to have a conversation to change the terms?


I had someone try to pull the opposite.

This was a couple years before the pandemic, so we're going way back, but I slept with a woman from Tinder a couple times after dates. On our third date she said that she's used to BFs helping with bills and would expect that for me to keep seeing her, and that given our age and wealth difference I shouldn't be surprised by the request. I moved on, but still follow her on social media and she seems to have found plenty of other guys in this area that will step up.
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