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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Casual sex may be degrading to YOU, but it's also something very willingly done by choice by others. If casual sex, compensated or not, is something that you find distasteful, you should not do it. Leave others alone. Casual sex has made me very happy, and it made a number of my female friends in college very happy. Some of them chose to do it for some small compensation and that neither made them happy nor unhappy. It was just a fun thing to do. Most women will tell you they've done things for partners they wouldn't have ordinarily done—that is neither here nor there in this case. |
So, if my college boyfriend or my husband buys me lunch after we've had sex... I'm a prostitute? Huh? |
If you didn’t have sex with him unless he bought you the lunch, yes |
I had casual sex with boys I liked and it never crossed my mind to expect anything financial from them in return. I would be so ashamed if I did it for money ! I was giving language and math lessons, working as a model part time to earn extra income. I married very well at age 26. |
There you go. My friends who did this stuff were planning to sleep with someone—that was going to happen. Frankly a 44yo who takes them to a Michelin star restaurant and gives them a pair of shoes is less demeaning than bent over a frathouse couch, hoping that Skyler the Lax Bro doesn't pass out or barf on you before he finishes. I don't know what you think is so sacred about sex, but most people aren't going to be demeaned by having a nice dinner beforehand. |
DP but...society expects college students to get with other college students, just like society expects you to get with your husband. Sex outside those expected parameters, combined with the exchange of money and/or gifts, is what causes people to call it prostitution. |
Too bad these were your only choices in college. All I can say. Boys I dated were very attractive, nice, not sleazy. We were in love, they saved money to take me out, and I loved them back. Some relationships were for couple months but it was always a great connection first. If I didn’t have anyone to date I just stayed single and helped myself, sometimes for months. It’s just better in my mind than having sex in frat house or for money with old dudes. Men in their 40s looked so old to me when I was 20s!! Nothing sexy at all No I didn’t date 40s men for money in my 20s. I was making my own money and already helped my family; started working small office jobs at 18. |
It’s not the society it’s my own sexuality. I d didn’t sleep with men I didn’t find attractive, or wasn’t a least a little bit in love with, ever in my life. 40s were not on my radar and even 30s men looked old and unattractive to me back then |
Yeah, I get that. And if society thought about it, they would understand that there's a decent enough chance that a 44yo man with a BMW is a better sexual partner than Kyler the Lax Guy for most 18-23yo girls. |
If you never did it and aren't familiar with today's sexual culture it seems hard to criticize women who do want to get involved with the Sugar scene. |
You seem to think that most of the girls involved with Sugar are doing this is as a job? It's a form of entertainment for most. A lot of them have jobs, are interested in finding love, etc. And I'm sorry that you're so shallow that you think the only that matters is that a man is the same age as you. Trust me, most 40-something year old men are in better shape than the pudgy, whiny, drunken, entitled college boys our society is turning out these days. |
In my 20s I could entertain myself and go shopping with my own money. Traveled with girlfriends to Europe; went to night clubs with them etc. I had little interest in entertaining myself sexually that way and never met a 40s guy who would be more attractive to me vs younger men and specifically for Michelins or BMW. Guys who were showing off posh cats weren’t interesting to me; I always liked nerds and met couple of my dates in the libraries. I had many interests, got 2 grad degrees by age 23; was working a lot and long hours at a responsible high level job by age 25. Traveled to over 20 countries by then. I was meeting interesting early 30s guys at executive MBA meetups; conferences. And that’s how I met my husband who is only 8 years older. I am $7mm individual net worth 40s woman now; over $25mm family net worth. |
A pretty good rule of thumb is that people who will unsolicited tell you their own individual net worth are people who are not telling the truth. People who tell you their family net worth are not only not telling you the truth but are probably an incel. No kidding. All we've established is that you have different interests than the women who get involved with Sugar, not that they are prostitutes or doing anything wrong. |
Having casual sex in your early twenties with boys in their early twenties is totally different than having casual sex in your early twenties with men over 40. The great majority of young women don't find old men attractive and would only have casual sex with them in a transactional relationship, or because they believe they will get some kind of financial or career benefit out of the relationship. The only older guy I guy I flirted back with in my twenties had a beautiful mansion on the beach, a nice car, great style and flashed a lot of money around, so ya, he was attractive to me. Otherwise, the old men in bars looked like dads or grandpas and they idea of sex with them was absurd. |
You never had sex with someone who was not a total dreamboat? My friends who did the Sugar thing didn't eff EVERY guy who came along. Also, if you have grown up and are now in your 30s or 40s or 50s, presumably you have sex with men in their 30s, 40s or 50s and it is something that can be done, and possibly even be enjoyed? |