Disgusted by Wife’s Obesity But Don’t Want a Divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s pretty simple. She needs to stop pigging out. No amount of working out can counteract a diet that put on 40 extra pounds.

This is so true. Losing weight is 95% food and 5% excises. I lost and gained 30lb twice already.

[Anonymous]

Where are you, op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain to me why being fat is 100% within your control, but your emotions about someone else’s body are something that you “can’t help?”

Maybe you should ask all these women who post about losing all sexual desire after a certain point. They say DH is perfectly nice but "I just don't have this feeling anymore." Surely if sexual attraction could be drummed up all the low-libido wives would be doing it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wife is about 40 pounds overweight and short. She’s obese. I’m not really attracted to her anymore. Weight gain mostly started 5 years after last kid—this is not kid related. She just stopped working out and started eating more and more sweets and drinking more and more wine.

She doesn’t seem to care about looking good for me. Also a terrible role mode for our kids.

But I don’t want to hurt our kids with divorce. (The rest of our relationship is ok—not amazing or terrible.)

Any suggestions *from women* about how to talk to wife?

I think you would be doing your wife a favor and divorcing. It is obvious you don't treat her well

[Anonymous]

If she’s 280, she’s a lady!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's drinking a lot of wine, that is the main issue. It affects liver health and starts a cascade of hormonal issues. It also prevents restorative sleep, which leads to poor blood sugar control and over eating. I'd start by asking her to stop drinking.

I would like to read more about this. Can you provide a link? Especially the wine > liver > hormones piece.

[Anonymous]

I hate myself for admitting this, but team OP. Regardless of what her issues are and there are clearly issues. OP might her biggest issue and the cause. I did not read the thread, but we can start with his title "disgusted..." Says quite a lot, don't you think? Not, I don't like it, or how to I gently approach it...
However, if she is unhappy she needs to take charge of her life, including her weight.
Perhaps getting rid of OP is her first step to better mental health, fight with her alcoholism and her weight problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she’s 280, she’s a lady!

Didn't follow the thread responses, but if she is 40lbs overweight and short, hence obese pre op... Her normal weight range would be up to 130lbs, maybe 140. So she is 180 tops, hardly heavy in the USA!

[Anonymous]

I suspect OP is a dcum New York City troll. She posted bunch of threads on 5.23.

[Anonymous]

I was OPs wife not too long ago. I decided to lose weight because I had no energy and my bloodwork was showing that I wasn’t healthy, not to please my husband. In any event, I lost 50 lbs, worked out 5 days a week, looked great. Then he started criticizing my muscles and how much I was working out. He is gone now. I feel much better after losing the last 160 lbs.

The point is, some people are just d$cks regardless of how much their wife weighs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain to me why being fat is 100% within your control, but your emotions about someone else’s body are something that you “can’t help?”

Maybe you should ask all these women who post about losing all sexual desire after a certain point. They say DH is perfectly nice but "I just don't have this feeling anymore." Surely if sexual attraction could be drummed up all the low-libido wives would be doing it?

He didn’t say that he lost sexual desire. In fact, he says that part of their relationship is “ok.”
He just says that he feels disgusted. He can choose to feel a different feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP i weighed 120lbs @ 5’8” when I married a very handsome fit man. As soon as I got pregnant I threw in the towel and ate whatever I wanted! After my child was born I was weighing in at 175lbs. I went from wearing sexy tight dresses to moo moos. After about 6 months he tells me to get in the car we’re going shopping and wear your sneakers. I got all excited thinking wow we’re gonna do some power shopping! Next thing I know he pulls up to this fitness studio and tells me to get out. I reluctantly got out and he peeled off in the parking lot. I walked in where a personal trainer was waiting for me. Luckily he was gorgeous and that was the beginning of my fitness journey. I lost all the weight and 30 yrs later I’m still exercising and a size 6. I never got angry that he did that to me. I actually thought is was funny and I was thankful. It’s easy to get comfortable in a marriage and not give a crap anymore. If I had married the average Joe I’m sure I’d weigh 250 by now.

You were young and pliable. I'd like to see any man try that on a 40+ yo woman and keep his balls.

Actually I am in my 40s. I probably should lose 25 lbs. if my dH did this and took the time to find a high quality hot physical trainer who had a really good program and created the time in my schedule for me to stick with it I would think it was great.

I am not pliable. I wear the pants in the house and am a confrontational, very successful manager at work.

Op if you do this very carefully (sadly probably not an option right now but it will be after the pandemic) I think it could work. But you have to be really complimentary about every baby step and do a lot more dishes and childcare while she is at the gym so she doesn’t fell stressed about going there.
The most

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I suspect OP is a dcum New York City troll. She posted bunch of threads on 5.23.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can someone explain to me why being fat is 100% within your control, but your emotions about someone else’s body are something that you “can’t help?”

Maybe you should ask all these women who post about losing all sexual desire after a certain point. They say DH is perfectly nice but "I just don't have this feeling anymore." Surely if sexual attraction could be drummed up all the low-libido wives would be doing it?

He didn’t say that he lost sexual desire. In fact, he says that part of their relationship is “ok.”
He just says that he feels disgusted. He can choose to feel a different feeling.

He didn't say "that part of their relationship is OK". He said the relationship overall is OK, not great. He also said he's not attracted to her anymore. That's as specific as he got about sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP i weighed 120lbs @ 5’8” when I married a very handsome fit man. As soon as I got pregnant I threw in the towel and ate whatever I wanted! After my child was born I was weighing in at 175lbs. I went from wearing sexy tight dresses to moo moos. After about 6 months he tells me to get in the car we’re going shopping and wear your sneakers. I got all excited thinking wow we’re gonna do some power shopping! Next thing I know he pulls up to this fitness studio and tells me to get out. I reluctantly got out and he peeled off in the parking lot. I walked in where a personal trainer was waiting for me. Luckily he was gorgeous and that was the beginning of my fitness journey. I lost all the weight and 30 yrs later I’m still exercising and a size 6. I never got angry that he did that to me. I actually thought is was funny and I was thankful. It’s easy to get comfortable in a marriage and not give a crap anymore. If I had married the average Joe I’m sure I’d weigh 250 by now.

You were young and pliable. I'd like to see any man try that on a 40+ yo woman and keep his balls.

Actually I am in my 40s. I probably should lose 25 lbs. if my dH did this and took the time to find a high quality hot physical trainer who had a really good program and created the time in my schedule for me to stick with it I would think it was great.

I am not pliable. I wear the pants in the house and am a confrontational, very successful manager at work.

Op if you do this very carefully (sadly probably not an option right now but it will be after the pandemic) I think it could work. But you have to be really complimentary about every baby step and do a lot more dishes and childcare while she is at the gym so she doesn’t fell stressed about going there.
The most

You're not pliable, but the run on sentence in your second paragraph reveals your penchant for magical thinking.