Do Women Really Not Want to Work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

We are similar to your ideal situation and not bored: have a child in middle school. We workout. Sit on some boards. Hire out the cleaning. Do the home making we enjoy. Travel extensively with child during school vacations and then some. Neither plays golf. Not bored at all. Busy actually doing things we enjoy.

Everything you listed sounds horrible. Quit my interesting job so I can workout and sit on boards? No thanks.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the whole thread. I have a great job. It pays mediocrely. DH has a great job that he hates that pays awesomely.

Guess who puts the most into child care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

We are similar to your ideal situation and not bored: have a child in middle school. We workout. Sit on some boards. Hire out the cleaning. Do the home making we enjoy. Travel extensively with child during school vacations and then some. Neither plays golf. Not bored at all. Busy actually doing things we enjoy.

Everything you listed sounds horrible. Quit my interesting job so I can workout and sit on boards? No thanks.

Are you people really that boring that you'd have nothing to do if you didn't have a job? What do you even talk about with friends and family?

[Anonymous]

Nobody WANTS to work. It's just more socially acceptable for women to say this vs. men.

[Anonymous]

I need to work, I can't imagine having that much leisure time. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I'd still work, but I'd change to a lower paying job that I used to do and loved.

[Anonymous]

I want to work. What I don’t want is to work longer hours, be the breadwinner, do 80 percent of the work at home AND do all of the family mental labor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is an issue you're having with your wife. Every woman is different. I personally would never want to not work and leave my spouse to earn all the money. I actually feel a little sorry for my friends who stay home with their kids, their lives seem really pathetic. They are always complaining about needing a break and how their husbands never do anything around the house etc etc.

You sound like a great friend.

I mean, I guess at this point calling these women friends is false, I have definitely distanced myself from them since we've all had kids. I have nothing in common with women who stay at home all day and complain that they no longer have time to go to the spa and about how difficult their kids are and how they're soooo tired.

I’m sure they’re glad to be rid of you. Do you have the same contempt for your nanny or daycare provider? After all, they just sit around all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but women do expect men to provide everything they want. Oh, and, equal rights.

What a charming worldview....

Truth hurts

NP

I sincerely doubt any woman is expecting you to provide everything she wants for her, PP. You kind of give the impression that this is your real truth, and that is the real problem. For you, at least.

Bitter isn't a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

Wow, an out of shape, slob who can't plan a trip and has no imagination. Your spouse is probably thrilled to have you occupied outside the home! (PS. you can never read too many books...)

Wrong. I’m far from out of shape. My BMI is actually underweight.

I simply can’t travel extensively with children IN SCHOOL. Most of the year is spent with kids attending school.

The point is I don’t need to quit my job to read books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody WANTS to work. It's just more socially acceptable for women to say this vs. men.

+ 1

I find it hysterical that people refuse to admit this on here whereas in the REAL WORLD people LOVE to bang on about what they'd do with their free time if they won the Mega Millions. Every time it gets up to over 100M, people have the same conversations about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, neither men nor women really want to work. It's just more socially acceptable for women not to. Also, most of my female friends feel like they have to want to because of the stigma associated with not having a paying job.

Men are actually expected to provide for families or potential families. Women, on the other hand, sell their sexual access to the highest bidder.

Wrong. Women are expected to provide children. Since men are unable to do so.

Think about it. Women and men work. Only women have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody WANTS to work. It's just more socially acceptable for women to say this vs. men.

+ 1

I find it hysterical that people refuse to admit this on here whereas in the REAL WORLD people LOVE to bang on about what they'd do with their free time if they won the Mega Millions. Every time it gets up to over 100M, people have the same conversations about this.

Because that kind of money is a game changer. Having $10 million is NOT.

Having to travel in order to not be bored still requires spending time in gross airports and all sorts of other crap. With $100 million this isn’t the case.

It’s why so many wealthy people still work. The more leisure time you have, the less valuable and enjoyable it becomes. Work serves a purpose for MANY people.

There are many women in DC who truly gain satisfaction from work. Our husbands don’t make enough where we can travel around on private jet and entertain ourselves doing who knows what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nobody WANTS to work. It's just more socially acceptable for women to say this vs. men.

+ 1

I find it hysterical that people refuse to admit this on here whereas in the REAL WORLD people LOVE to bang on about what they'd do with their free time if they won the Mega Millions. Every time it gets up to over 100M, people have the same conversations about this.

Because that kind of money is a game changer. Having $10 million is NOT.

Having to travel in order to not be bored still requires spending time in gross airports and all sorts of other crap. With $100 million this isn’t the case.

It’s why so many wealthy people still work. The more leisure time you have, the less valuable and enjoyable it becomes. Work serves a purpose for MANY people.

There are many women in DC who truly gain satisfaction from work. Our husbands don’t make enough where we can travel around on private jet and entertain ourselves doing who knows what.

Oh please. MOST people's lives would be dramatically changed if they suddenly got 10 million deposited into their bank accounts.

100 million or more is the kind of money you could never spend in a lifetime. I mean, you could but you'd have to really try and it would be gross to do so imho.

We don't even have 5 million but we live pretty well on a base salary of 750k plus bonuses and we have a few million in the bank. We don't fly private but we take luxury vacations at high end resorts 6 times a year. Our kids go to private school and do whatever expensive activities and camps they want to do. We have a nice house in NW and a beach house on the MD shore where we spend most of the summer months.

DH works from home about 50 hours a week and I don't work at all. We're in our late 30s. I guess the next step for us would be flying private and taking private yacht vacations. Right now we're comfortable spending up to 20k for a week away.

[Anonymous]

Oh shut up.

I have all the same shit but more because of a trust. Didn’t earn mine, either.

You don’t have a job and you’re yammering on about what you’re husband has earned in page long entries. Yeah you sound super fulfilled.

[Anonymous]

I was working an entry-level job when I first got married. When I became pregnant, I wanted to stay home, but my ex made me feel guilty and then insisted I keep working. I really didn’t want to, but I also didn’t want to hear his mouth all day. I resented him so much over that, it’s one of the main reasons I divorced him soon after... and I didn’t mind driving a Honda and shopping at Walmart. You need to listen to your wife. I agree with posters who suggest she maybe burned out.