Do Women Really Not Want to Work?

[Anonymous]

I think working 2 or 3 days a week would be a good balance. The people I know who do this can actually enjoy their weekends and everyone can recharge vs. trying to cram everything needed to be done into 2 days and then starting the next week already exhausted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

Learn to handle your kids and you can travel. I know plenty of WOH and SAH moms who do that. People who won’t travel with kids (but have money) are typically just not adept enough to handle their children under stressful situations. As for extensive travel, we’ve met plenty of families who’ve taken children out of school for a semester or more, and who were homeschooling on the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

Learn to handle your kids and you can travel. I know plenty of WOH and SAH moms who do that. People who won’t travel with kids (but have money) are typically just not adept enough to handle their children under stressful situations. As for extensive travel, we’ve met plenty of families who’ve taken children out of school for a semester or more, and who were homeschooling on the road.

DP. So just leave DH to earn the money, right? You sound nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

Wow, an out of shape, slob who can't plan a trip and has no imagination. Your spouse is probably thrilled to have you occupied outside the home! (PS. you can never read too many books...)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Actually, after my son was born i was pseudo home full time (1 year mat leave, followed by 2 years in a work from home on my own schedule job that took about 15 hours a week, during which time i had a nanny). I found it really boring. I had lots of leisure time, and it was just super boring. I read, caught up on tv, hung out with lots of sahms during the day. I felt really disconnected from DH. Doing made up charity work, PTA stuff, and going to the gym just isn't my thing. I know lots of sahms doing all kinds of "great on paper" stuff, but i don't think it's particularly important and it's just not for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Actually, after my son was born i was pseudo home full time (1 year mat leave, followed by 2 years in a work from home on my own schedule job that took about 15 hours a week, during which time i had a nanny). I found it really boring. I had lots of leisure time, and it was just super boring. I read, caught up on tv, hung out with lots of sahms during the day. I felt really disconnected from DH. Doing made up charity work, PTA stuff, and going to the gym just isn't my thing. I know lots of sahms doing all kinds of "great on paper" stuff, but i don't think it's particularly important and it's just not for me.

You know the saying, only boring people are bored.

[Anonymous]

I think this is an issue you're having with your wife. Every woman is different. I personally would never want to not work and leave my spouse to earn all the money. I actually feel a little sorry for my friends who stay home with their kids, their lives seem really pathetic. They are always complaining about needing a break and how their husbands never do anything around the house etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this is an issue you're having with your wife. Every woman is different. I personally would never want to not work and leave my spouse to earn all the money. I actually feel a little sorry for my friends who stay home with their kids, their lives seem really pathetic. They are always complaining about needing a break and how their husbands never do anything around the house etc etc.

You sound like a great friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

I'm the PP you're responding to. Actually, after my son was born i was pseudo home full time (1 year mat leave, followed by 2 years in a work from home on my own schedule job that took about 15 hours a week, during which time i had a nanny). I found it really boring. I had lots of leisure time, and it was just super boring. I read, caught up on tv, hung out with lots of sahms during the day. I felt really disconnected from DH. Doing made up charity work, PTA stuff, and going to the gym just isn't my thing. I know lots of sahms doing all kinds of "great on paper" stuff, but i don't think it's particularly important and it's just not for me.

You know the saying, only boring people are bored.

I love my job! And my son thought it was pretty cool that the textbook he was assigned in a freshman year class was the one I had written. The kids also like it when I dedicate my scholarly books to them. Sure, if I had more free time I might also write a novel -- but why would I give up a cool job that gets me invited to speaking engagements all over the world, and lets me appear on TV so that I could stay home and knit? You'd have to be kind of insane to choose to do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a woman. The people I look up to the most (i.e. family, friends, historical figures, modern people, etc) do some sort of work. There is something about seeing people achieve and accomplish things, that inspires me.

While I respect the choice of those who choose to not work, it is not a lifestyle I am inspired by.

I do wish American society was setup like some European models where adults can choose how much they work, and not have their careers or lifestyles suffer for it. It would be great to cut back when necessary, like when the kids are young, and then ramp up if and when you're ready for more. I read an article that said Switzerland has this kind of system and it works great for professional workers who wish to maintain their career while also caring for a family.

I disagree. In most European countries women are expected to work and while they have part time options, their upward mobility is limited. It’s expected for women to take lengthy maternity leaves and work part time. As a result, it’s harder for women to “ramp up” as you say. In some scandanavian countries, the largest employer of women is the government.

That still sounds much better than the horrible (or nonexistent) maternity leave that push many women out of the workforce when they have children. Plus when kids are older and women want to rejoin the workforce the years away make it really difficult to transition back at anywhere near the levels you were at before. Honestly, just about anything would be better than the American system.

It’s disingenuous to criticize others who fail to reach perfection when the US fails to meet the minimum standards of first world countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is an issue you're having with your wife. Every woman is different. I personally would never want to not work and leave my spouse to earn all the money. I actually feel a little sorry for my friends who stay home with their kids, their lives seem really pathetic. They are always complaining about needing a break and how their husbands never do anything around the house etc etc.

You sound like a great friend.

I mean, I guess at this point calling these women friends is false, I have definitely distanced myself from them since we've all had kids. I have nothing in common with women who stay at home all day and complain that they no longer have time to go to the spa and about how difficult their kids are and how they're soooo tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

We are similar to your ideal situation and not bored: have a child in middle school. We workout. Sit on some boards. Hire out the cleaning. Do the home making we enjoy. Travel extensively with child during school vacations and then some. Neither plays golf. Not bored at all. Busy actually doing things we enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I am another one who hates staying home. If I had unlimited money it would be one thing but as it is I would get bored silly. Work adds some structure and intellectual and social stimulation to my day, especially since my job is low stress. I also hate homemaking and traveling, as I get ridiculously motion sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No but women do expect men to provide everything they want. Oh, and, equal rights.

What a charming worldview....

Truth hurts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Highly educated, high earning woman here, who is married to a similarly high earning man. In my ideal situation, we'd have $50m in the bank and we'd BOTH quit and hang out without responsibility. Maybe some volunteering here and there. Nothing too major. Donate lots of cash. My next ideal situation is our current situation (high earning, low hours). My least ideal is not working, while DH goes off to work every day. It's boring, creates an imbalance in the marriage (emotionally and financially), and unfulfilling for me.

Why would you be bored? Do you really think you couldn't find something worthwhile to do with your time, or do you only value earning money?

What do you suggest I do while I have children in school and I’m living in the DC area? I don’t workout and I dislike homemaking. I can’t travel extensively because I have children. Outside of taking up golf, I can’t figure out what I would do. One can only read so many books.

Learn to handle your kids and you can travel. I know plenty of WOH and SAH moms who do that. People who won’t travel with kids (but have money) are typically just not adept enough to handle their children under stressful situations. As for extensive travel, we’ve met plenty of families who’ve taken children out of school for a semester or more, and who were homeschooling on the road.

It’s jot about handling my kids. It’s the fact they are in SCHOOL. Are you suggesting I homeschool my kids and travel nonstop? because even a long trip and homeschooling is just ONE trip. Also, my husband can’t be out of work for extended periods of time. Besides the fact I like where I live and don’t want to have to leave so I’m not bored.