Oyster-Adam teacher arrested

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
And teacher dress code. Most schools certainly have a dress code in place for the kids. I still can't quite envision a teacher wearing "short shorts" and all people did was flutter their eyelashes.

Dress codes didn't do much to prevent priests from committing sexual abuse...

[Anonymous]

Sorry if this is answered previously, but I'm trying to catch up on this thread.

The picture was sent a year ago, so I'm assuming the victim is no longer in this teacher's class and is now in 5th grade. Do we know how the parents found the picture? Or did the victim finally tell his parents?

[jsteele]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry if this is answered previously, but I'm trying to catch up on this thread.

The picture was sent a year ago, so I'm assuming the victim is no longer in this teacher's class and is now in 5th grade. Do we know how the parents found the picture? Or did the victim finally tell his parents?

None of that information has been posted. I would caution everyone to strictly limit if not outright avoid any speculation about the victim regardless of how obvious the conclusions may seem (e.g. the current grade of the student).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are an O-A family. Mr. Pena was everyone's favorite, smart, engaged, and never set off anyone's creep detector. It is completely and totally astonishing to me. People on this thread understandably are trying to come up with "red flags" that weren't seen or policies that weren't implemented to make themselves feel better, like now they know what DIDN'T work they can prevent whether it could possibly happen to them, their kids, their school. But it can. This case is proof that it can. It is a terrible terrible thing that has happened. Teach your kids to talk to you and believe them when they do.

I agree.

My DC will be starting O-A in August. One of the issues raised that concerns me is the offering of the movie night auction item. I'm not suggesting that the children who attended or were going to attend the movie night hosted by Mr. Pena were harmed or there was intention to harm them. It just seems odd that the administration would condone that level of familiarity. Admittedly, I'm ignorant about the details and whether or not a parent chaperone would have been required to be present.

I would like someone to clarify that as well, because while I accept that we can't necessarily pick out the molester ahead of time, this is an obvious bad policy, which opens the door. This is something that can and should be changed.

Agreed, but it should be made clear in the ad to protect teachers and students. Oyster-Adams should review some of their policies around teacher and student conduct.

And teacher dress code. Most schools certainly have a dress code in place for the kids. I still can't quite envision a teacher wearing "short shorts" and all people did was flutter their eyelashes.

And this is exactly why we need transgendered teachers to replace the men at our schools. Then we won't have to worry about short shorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to point out that the auctions are conducted by the PTA. These events are huge and require an enormous amount of work by busy parent volunteers. It is very common for teachers to offer special experiences at the auction, and these are often the most popular items.

This is all just to say that I wouldn't necessarily blame the school for "allowing" this to be in the auction. The auction team was probably overworked and didn't really register this as an ill-advised idea. Obviously moving forward this needs to be something the auction committee is aware of and vigilant about.

+1000 seriously, I have kids at 3 different schools, and ALL of them have teachers and administrators who offer movies, pizza parties, craft nights, movie nights, nature walks, tea, you name it, for the auction-it is SUPER common. My kid is going to movie and ice cream with his teacher and 2 other kids. And while there are sadly predators in the world that victimize children, which is horrific, the auction item events are not some sort of gateway for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to point out that the auctions are conducted by the PTA. These events are huge and require an enormous amount of work by busy parent volunteers. It is very common for teachers to offer special experiences at the auction, and these are often the most popular items.

This is all just to say that I wouldn't necessarily blame the school for "allowing" this to be in the auction. The auction team was probably overworked and didn't really register this as an ill-advised idea. Obviously moving forward this needs to be something the auction committee is aware of and vigilant about.

+1000 seriously, I have kids at 3 different schools, and ALL of them have teachers and administrators who offer movies, pizza parties, craft nights, movie nights, nature walks, tea, you name it, for the auction-it is SUPER common. My kid is going to movie and ice cream with his teacher and 2 other kids. And while there are sadly predators in the world that victimize children, which is horrific, the auction item events are not some sort of gateway for them.

Would you allow movie-night in a male teacher's home for an elementary age child? I would allow a movie night out, but not in their home, going to the movies would be okay under certain circumstances with other children and adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just want to point out that the auctions are conducted by the PTA. These events are huge and require an enormous amount of work by busy parent volunteers. It is very common for teachers to offer special experiences at the auction, and these are often the most popular items.

This is all just to say that I wouldn't necessarily blame the school for "allowing" this to be in the auction. The auction team was probably overworked and didn't really register this as an ill-advised idea. Obviously moving forward this needs to be something the auction committee is aware of and vigilant about.

+1000 seriously, I have kids at 3 different schools, and ALL of them have teachers and administrators who offer movies, pizza parties, craft nights, movie nights, nature walks, tea, you name it, for the auction-it is SUPER common. My kid is going to movie and ice cream with his teacher and 2 other kids. And while there are sadly predators in the world that victimize children, which is horrific, the auction item events are not some sort of gateway for them.

Would you allow movie-night in a male teacher's home for an elementary age child? I would allow a movie night out, but not in their home, going to the movies would be okay under certain circumstances with other children and adults.

Speaking honestly, before this debacle, I probably would have IF I trusted the teacher, thought I knew the teacher well and the teacher was well respected and trusted by other parents and teachers who knew him longer and better than I. As a parent, to a certain extent, that's what you have to do, you have to parent with a certain amount of instinct and rational sense based on the information you get from others and your own experiences with your child, their community and the people they are entrusted to.

That said, my reasoning and instincts would have been horribly wrong given this individual and everything that happened, but what I just said above is probably exactly how most parents and authority figures were thinking before this happened, and most likely how this predator was able to bamboozle everyone to accomplish his sick crimes. Honestly this is why I am horrified and upset.

[Anonymous]

Something tells me the home schooling groups in DC will soon be getting a spike in memberships.

Many Oyster families have options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Something tells me the home schooling groups in DC will soon be getting a spike in memberships.

Many Oyster families have options.

yes, because homeschooled children are NEVER victim of abuse ( see the Duggars and all the kids who ended up abused by uncle, older brother, cousin and so on)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Something tells me the home schooling groups in DC will soon be getting a spike in memberships.

Many Oyster families have options.

yes, because homeschooled children are NEVER victim of abuse ( see the Duggars and all the kids who ended up abused by uncle, older brother, cousin and so on)

This

[Anonymous]

Some real asshats on this thread, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This all sounds a lot like what happened at Beauvoir. There the teacher got very friendly with certain families, spent the night at their homes, took care of kids off school hours, etc. As a parent, I think that's the behavior I'd watch out for, not a knee jerk reaction of no male teachers. It's not weird for a man to want to be a teacher or take care of kids. It's weird when your fourth grade teacher sleeps over.

X100

[Anonymous]

I personally just want a parent/child relationship with my child's teacher. No happy hours or brunch dates. I think it's crossing the line in a weird way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally just want a parent/child relationship with my child's teacher. No happy hours or brunch dates. I think it's crossing the line in a weird way.

+1.

[Anonymous]

As a mid thirty something parent I'm very close in age to my sons teachers. I've made friends with some of them and we socialize and I see nothing wrong with that. Teachers are people too many of them really great interesting people. This was just one individual with a serious problem. Now I have never heard of a school that has officially sanctioned happy hours between parents and teachers... That's something else. But I wouldn't think twice of inviting them over for a BBQ, family event/wedding or something.