Bullying at NCS

[Anonymous]

I think those of you who have not had children at the Cathedral schools really have no idea what you are talking about when you speculate about gender dynamics. Its like there's a thread going on and everyone wants in so they are opining about a situation with which they have no direct experience. The issues at these schools are very particular to the schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think those of you who have not had children at the Cathedral schools really have no idea what you are talking about when you speculate about gender dynamics. Its like there's a thread going on and everyone wants in so they are opining about a situation with which they have no direct experience. The issues at these schools are very particular to the schools.

I love the "you can't possibly understand" argument. Because none of us on DCUM has ever had a son or a daughter....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think those of you who have not had children at the Cathedral schools really have no idea what you are talking about when you speculate about gender dynamics. Its like there's a thread going on and everyone wants in so they are opining about a situation with which they have no direct experience. The issues at these schools are very particular to the schools.

I'm sorry. But your hundreds of posts have convinced us that you're a lunatic. So we're not going to let you slide with an easy out like "you just can't understand why I seem crazy but I'm not."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think those of you who have not had children at the Cathedral schools really have no idea what you are talking about when you speculate about gender dynamics. Its like there's a thread going on and everyone wants in so they are opining about a situation with which they have no direct experience. The issues at these schools are very particular to the schools.

I'm sorry. But your hundreds of posts have convinced us that you're a lunatic. So we're not going to let you slide with an easy out like "you just can't understand why I seem crazy but I'm not."

Not the PP - I graduated form NCS some years ago and I've never met anyone who has had an experience even similar to what I had regarding the social atmosphere. Have I met everyone in the world? Obviously not..... but I do think it is at least a fairly unique experience. FWIW, I wouldn't encourage my daughter to go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think those of you who have not had children at the Cathedral schools really have no idea what you are talking about when you speculate about gender dynamics. Its like there's a thread going on and everyone wants in so they are opining about a situation with which they have no direct experience. The issues at these schools are very particular to the schools.

I'm sorry. But your hundreds of posts have convinced us that you're a lunatic. So we're not going to let you slide with an easy out like "you just can't understand why I seem crazy but I'm not."

I haven't posted hundreds of times. I've been reluctant to post on this thread because of the ridiculous name calling. I don't know whom you are referring to but it isn't me.

I don't see why its such a radical idea that just because you know boys and girls that you don't necessarily know the culture/atmosphere/ ethos of a school your children don't attend. I would never opine about, say, the atmosphere at St. Patrick's because I've never had a child attend that school, though I do have a son and daughter. All of you blah blah blahing about girls schools in general, or girls and their mothers, or whatever -- maybe it feels good to express yourself and its a free country, but you really have no idea whats going on at NCS. The funny thing is that then you get into these fights where you dig in and argue, argue, argue over something you don't have any direct experience with. Why such strong feelings if you have no direct experience.

There are posts from parents like myself who have had daughters at NCS. The posts don't agree, clearly there are differing experiences. But they clearly come from people who have direct experience and something to offer on the topic. Everyone else just sounds bored and ready to pick a fight.

[Anonymous]

Many children hide what is going on at school from their parents but will confide in other parents. I've heard a lot from girls who are friends with my daughter. I'll believe what they tell me over what their parents think any day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She was never a teacher. She was brought in to help with the social dynamic in the school and completely betrayed the girls by writing the book. She didn't help them while she was there, either. I am an NCS parent who has been unhappy with the school, but the book and the woman who wrote it are meaningless. And the problem with NCS isn't mean girls.

What is the problem?

Mean girls don't just come from the cabbage patch. Most NCS mean girls are on that path before they set foot in NCS,but the environment doesn't help.

I get your point. But what's odd to me as that NCS moms are often also STA moms, and the experience at STA is so opposite mean. In my book, it has to do with the fact that they are girls, in an all girls environment, which just accentuates the crazy we're all capable of, especially in the middle school/teen years.

I know both schools well and would agree with this for the most part. I do agree that the faculty/admin seems to take somewhat of a different approach at the two schools as well, which factors in. I've always thought that the great chaplains at STA (they've had a string of spectacular people) had a lot to do with a very warm, compassionate vibe that you wouldn't expect from the "boys in blazers and ties" visuals.

[Anonymous]

If things are as bad as some on this forum say, we'd see families speaking with their feet, heading for the exit doors. As far as I know, there was no attrition from the so-called problem 7th grade class. So unless these alleged bullied girls families are masochists, my guess is that all of the previously posted dribble is just that.

[Anonymous]

The school worked VERY hard to keep them and to mediate the situation. It will be interesting to see how next year goes. Hopefully better for everyone but unlikely anyone will change their core. Just a very complex group of families.

[Anonymous]

I know of girls in my daughter's class who voted with their feet. And many more who wished they had.

[Anonymous]

DD is a current NCS student. I have heard many people say they wish the administration would actually do something about the girls who made a career out of bullying others. I'm not talking about girls who are occasionally snarky, but girls who are bullies on a daily basis and accelerate their behavior at will. Girls get away with this behavior because the school makes a decision to allow it when they continually do nothing to stop the ugly behavior. Including cheating--one teacher told a student she had to "see the cheating" before a girl would be counseled.
By asking for help from the administration, I refer to those who are in charge of Upper School, Middle School, etc. as well as the Head of School.
So many teachers are aware of problems, but get no backing from higher ups. It is a shame to have this ongoing problem at NCS because the academics are outstanding and
there are lots of opportunities available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is a current NCS student. I have heard many people say they wish the administration would actually do something about the girls who made a career out of bullying others. I'm not talking about girls who are occasionally snarky, but girls who are bullies on a daily basis and accelerate their behavior at will. Girls get away with this behavior because the school makes a decision to allow it when they continually do nothing to stop the ugly behavior. Including cheating--one teacher told a student she had to "see the cheating" before a girl would be counseled.
By asking for help from the administration, I refer to those who are in charge of Upper School, Middle School, etc. as well as the Head of School.
So many teachers are aware of problems, but get no backing from higher ups. It is a shame to have this ongoing problem at NCS because the academics are outstanding and
there are lots of opportunities available.

I can't believe the cheating story is true. Under the honor code, girls are required to report cheating they witness - if they witness cheating and do not report it, then they too have broken the honor code. If the teacher reacted that way, she was acting against the honor code.

[Anonymous]

Just a question, non Ncs specific, how should a teacher react about cheating if they did not see it and its hearsay from another student

[Anonymous]

I am 15:03. The teacher did refuse to go further . Student has been observed throughout the year cheating, but this was the first time (to my knowledge) a teacher was confidentially notified.

[Anonymous]

The NCS honor code is a joke. Saying NCS girls don't cheat because it would violate the honor code is like saying they don't drink because that would be against the law.