Ex won’t make food our daughter will eat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

You would serve your kid an entree salad for dinner? My kid likes plenty of other vegetables but not salad. At that age I didn't like salad either, I developed a taste for it as an adult....

What a weird interpretation of the comment. Of course I'm not feeding my kid just carrots and peppers for dinner. But an adult wouldn't eat that for dinner either. But I do serve my kid what I'm eating and there's no way I'm making my kid a separate meal every day.

I let my kid pick dinner tonight (he wants stir fry with peanut sauce).

My first post you were replying to was specifically talking about how I like an entree salad, but I don't serve that to my kid for dinner because he doesn't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

I grew up with my parents making meals I didn't like all the time because I was picky, and my brother had opposite taste so someone was always going to be unhappy. I didn't even get bread and yogurt or microwaved leftovers, we ate what was on the table or went hungry. My husband was raised the same way. I think we're being FAR more accommodating and possibly coddling pickiness with offering these alternatives as is. "Nobody gets to eat Chinese food until Larla goes to college" and "no vegetable-based meals because kids are grossed out by veggies" is an INSANE way to live.

Children are not house guests who visit occasionally. They are people who are learning about food FROM their parents, who do the cooking and know what an actual nutritious meal looks like. I don't make food my kids dislike every night, I even try not to do it multiple nights in a row, but saying the tastes of my 6 year old should dictate our entire family's meals indefinitely is, again, insane.

There is a pretty wide spectrum between letting kids dictate your meals and regularly making a meal over half your household does not like. I care about my child being properly nourished so if I know they don’t like tofu, I would make sure there is another source of protein they will eat with the meal. Attitudes and ideas on feeding kids have evolved, by the way.

I grew up with a mom like you and I’m still mad about. She insisted on making sloppy Joe once a week. I HATED and still hate sloppy joe and it’s not any healthier than any other meat dish she would make. My favorite was a nice cheeseburger. Guess what was never on the family table?

Oh, you got me. I just don't care about my children being properly nourished.

I also grew up with a mom like me and I'm not mad about it at all! I actually feel sorry for her since she had multiple kids with different tastes. She worked hard to put dinner on the table and someone was always complaining. We had a specific meal I hated on at least a weekly basis too, since she and my brother really liked it. I made a version of it for her birthday ths year.

I feel like there is just 0 reason to make a meal every single week that half the family hates. But, I enjoy cooking for and taking care of my family, so I guess your mileage may vary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

You would serve your kid an entree salad for dinner? My kid likes plenty of other vegetables but not salad. At that age I didn't like salad either, I developed a taste for it as an adult....

What a weird interpretation of the comment. Of course I'm not feeding my kid just carrots and peppers for dinner. But an adult wouldn't eat that for dinner either. But I do serve my kid what I'm eating and there's no way I'm making my kid a separate meal every day.

I let my kid pick dinner tonight (he wants stir fry with peanut sauce).

My first post you were replying to was specifically talking about how I like an entree salad, but I don't serve that to my kid for dinner because he doesn't like it.

Would you serve your kid a "snack plate" with the kind of stuff you put on an entree salad and some crackers or bread on the side, though? Or is salad just off the table for family meals because you won't make stuff your kids won't like?

I'm willing to deconstruct the meal a bit and let kids eat an adapted version. I'm not willing to write off entire categories of food. Especially ones like "vegetables," in the OP's case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

You would serve your kid an entree salad for dinner? My kid likes plenty of other vegetables but not salad. At that age I didn't like salad either, I developed a taste for it as an adult....

What a weird interpretation of the comment. Of course I'm not feeding my kid just carrots and peppers for dinner. But an adult wouldn't eat that for dinner either. But I do serve my kid what I'm eating and there's no way I'm making my kid a separate meal every day.

I let my kid pick dinner tonight (he wants stir fry with peanut sauce).

My first post you were replying to was specifically talking about how I like an entree salad, but I don't serve that to my kid for dinner because he doesn't like it.

I mean if you're just eating a bowl of lettuce that's a weird entree. No protein.

If you have like chicken or fish on the salad I see no reason an elementary school kid can't have that for dinner. I'd probably separate it out but that's a perfectly fine dinner dor a kid. Chicken and veggies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why so many teens have terrible eating habits and are unadventurous. So many of you reinforce it and on top of it think you are doing a good thing.

A lot of women of teens, generally daughters, act like it’s a flex that their daughters are so pampered and spoiled. “She won’t eat anything except (expensive takeout).” “She likes a fresh fruit smoothie every day and throws a fit if I run out of fruit” “She insists on (skincare) and won’t use anything else! I’m going broke paying for her bath supplies.” “I had to get a funeral dress overnighted from Nordstrom because she refuses to wear anything from Kohls” they’re not even complaining! They think it’s endearing. All of these are real life examples I’ve heard.

+1. A friend is like this with a very spoiled teenager. I mentioned that my middle schooler makes herself breakfast and she was like "oh really? Mine orders UberEats if I can't make her breakfast." It blew my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why so many teens have terrible eating habits and are unadventurous. So many of you reinforce it and on top of it think you are doing a good thing.

A lot of women of teens, generally daughters, act like it’s a flex that their daughters are so pampered and spoiled. “She won’t eat anything except (expensive takeout).” “She likes a fresh fruit smoothie every day and throws a fit if I run out of fruit” “She insists on (skincare) and won’t use anything else! I’m going broke paying for her bath supplies.” “I had to get a funeral dress overnighted from Nordstrom because she refuses to wear anything from Kohls” they’re not even complaining! They think it’s endearing. All of these are real life examples I’ve heard.

+1. A friend is like this with a very spoiled teenager. I mentioned that my middle schooler makes herself breakfast and she was like "oh really? Mine orders UberEats if I can't make her breakfast." It blew my mind.

There were kids in the dorms who were shocked the dining halls didn't plate food for them or make things to order, so I am not surprised.

But Uber eats? Imagine how much money she spends on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

You would serve your kid an entree salad for dinner? My kid likes plenty of other vegetables but not salad. At that age I didn't like salad either, I developed a taste for it as an adult....

What a weird interpretation of the comment. Of course I'm not feeding my kid just carrots and peppers for dinner. But an adult wouldn't eat that for dinner either. But I do serve my kid what I'm eating and there's no way I'm making my kid a separate meal every day.

I let my kid pick dinner tonight (he wants stir fry with peanut sauce).

My first post you were replying to was specifically talking about how I like an entree salad, but I don't serve that to my kid for dinner because he doesn't like it.

I mean if you're just eating a bowl of lettuce that's a weird entree. No protein.

If you have like chicken or fish on the salad I see no reason an elementary school kid can't have that for dinner. I'd probably separate it out but that's a perfectly fine dinner dor a kid. Chicken and veggies.

They will be fine without a protein for one meal. Again, the 16 year old can make herself something or mom can pack or bring food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

You would serve your kid an entree salad for dinner? My kid likes plenty of other vegetables but not salad. At that age I didn't like salad either, I developed a taste for it as an adult....

What a weird interpretation of the comment. Of course I'm not feeding my kid just carrots and peppers for dinner. But an adult wouldn't eat that for dinner either. But I do serve my kid what I'm eating and there's no way I'm making my kid a separate meal every day.

I let my kid pick dinner tonight (he wants stir fry with peanut sauce).

My first post you were replying to was specifically talking about how I like an entree salad, but I don't serve that to my kid for dinner because he doesn't like it.

I mean if you're just eating a bowl of lettuce that's a weird entree. No protein.

If you have like chicken or fish on the salad I see no reason an elementary school kid can't have that for dinner. I'd probably separate it out but that's a perfectly fine dinner dor a kid. Chicken and veggies.

I usually make myself an entree salad with a bunch of lettuce, grated carrot, herbs, onions, maybe some avocado and some type of protein. If I do that I'll serve my kid the same protein, some form of raw carrot (carrot sticks with ranch or grated carrots with some ranch drizzled on top), some avocado and usually some type of starch (I like to roast and freeze potatoes so I usually have some in the freezer ready to go, they take about 7 minutes in the air fryer). He'll eat some of the components but he's not eating a salad as his entree and I feel that his carb needs are greater than mine, hence the potatoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

I grew up with my parents making meals I didn't like all the time because I was picky, and my brother had opposite taste so someone was always going to be unhappy. I didn't even get bread and yogurt or microwaved leftovers, we ate what was on the table or went hungry. My husband was raised the same way. I think we're being FAR more accommodating and possibly coddling pickiness with offering these alternatives as is. "Nobody gets to eat Chinese food until Larla goes to college" and "no vegetable-based meals because kids are grossed out by veggies" is an INSANE way to live.

Children are not house guests who visit occasionally. They are people who are learning about food FROM their parents, who do the cooking and know what an actual nutritious meal looks like. I don't make food my kids dislike every night, I even try not to do it multiple nights in a row, but saying the tastes of my 6 year old should dictate our entire family's meals indefinitely is, again, insane.

There is a pretty wide spectrum between letting kids dictate your meals and regularly making a meal over half your household does not like. I care about my child being properly nourished so if I know they don’t like tofu, I would make sure there is another source of protein they will eat with the meal. Attitudes and ideas on feeding kids have evolved, by the way.

I grew up with a mom like you and I’m still mad about. She insisted on making sloppy Joe once a week. I HATED and still hate sloppy joe and it’s not any healthier than any other meat dish she would make. My favorite was a nice cheeseburger. Guess what was never on the family table?

Oh, you got me. I just don't care about my children being properly nourished.

I also grew up with a mom like me and I'm not mad about it at all! I actually feel sorry for her since she had multiple kids with different tastes. She worked hard to put dinner on the table and someone was always complaining. We had a specific meal I hated on at least a weekly basis too, since she and my brother really liked it. I made a version of it for her birthday ths year.

I feel like there is just 0 reason to make a meal every single week that half the family hates. But, I enjoy cooking for and taking care of my family, so I guess your mileage may vary.

As we've established, I hate taking care of my family and don't care about my children's nutrition, just like my mother before me. This is what distinguishes me, a bad mom who cooks a lot of Asian and vegetarian foods, from you, a great mom who doesn't make your kids eat yucky stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

You would serve your kid an entree salad for dinner? My kid likes plenty of other vegetables but not salad. At that age I didn't like salad either, I developed a taste for it as an adult....

I would and mine has no issue eating a salad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

That's fine and as teenagers they can cook for the family or themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

A nice big salad is a staple of my "adult diet." My elementary schooler is not going to eat a salad for dinner, he just won't. Do you think I should make salads for us, even though I know he doesn't like it? It's a normal meal, right???

Yes, you should keep giving your child salad. Is this a serious question?

Yeah I'll l cut the stuff into strips (carrots, peppers, cucumbers, the lettuce ribs) into strips and let my kid dip them in ranch or hummus but I absolutely serve my first grader salad for dinner. It's weird you wouldn't even try.

I took my kid Germany (my family lives there) and he didn't love everything he tried but he did try a bit of everything and found new things he liked. And he's 7, not 17.

This is a teenager who is old enough to cook for themself not a 7-year-old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

I grew up with my parents making meals I didn't like all the time because I was picky, and my brother had opposite taste so someone was always going to be unhappy. I didn't even get bread and yogurt or microwaved leftovers, we ate what was on the table or went hungry. My husband was raised the same way. I think we're being FAR more accommodating and possibly coddling pickiness with offering these alternatives as is. "Nobody gets to eat Chinese food until Larla goes to college" and "no vegetable-based meals because kids are grossed out by veggies" is an INSANE way to live.

Children are not house guests who visit occasionally. They are people who are learning about food FROM their parents, who do the cooking and know what an actual nutritious meal looks like. I don't make food my kids dislike every night, I even try not to do it multiple nights in a row, but saying the tastes of my 6 year old should dictate our entire family's meals indefinitely is, again, insane.

There is a pretty wide spectrum between letting kids dictate your meals and regularly making a meal over half your household does not like. I care about my child being properly nourished so if I know they don’t like tofu, I would make sure there is another source of protein they will eat with the meal. Attitudes and ideas on feeding kids have evolved, by the way.

I grew up with a mom like you and I’m still mad about. She insisted on making sloppy Joe once a week. I HATED and still hate sloppy joe and it’s not any healthier than any other meat dish she would make. My favorite was a nice cheeseburger. Guess what was never on the family table?

Oh, you got me. I just don't care about my children being properly nourished.

I also grew up with a mom like me and I'm not mad about it at all! I actually feel sorry for her since she had multiple kids with different tastes. She worked hard to put dinner on the table and someone was always complaining. We had a specific meal I hated on at least a weekly basis too, since she and my brother really liked it. I made a version of it for her birthday ths year.

I feel like there is just 0 reason to make a meal every single week that half the family hates. But, I enjoy cooking for and taking care of my family, so I guess your mileage may vary.

As we've established, I hate taking care of my family and don't care about my children's nutrition, just like my mother before me. This is what distinguishes me, a bad mom who cooks a lot of Asian and vegetarian foods, from you, a great mom who doesn't make your kids eat yucky stuff like that.

I wonder of these posters are using their kids to cover up their own picky eating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the responses saying some people see providing food for your kid as an act of care and love and some just don't as...kind of crazy making! Not EVERY bite has to be lovingly prepared and served hot and to a kid's tastes. People who eat cold breakfasts and quick lunches themselves aren't less caring parents. They just don't see every meal as a big event.

I sometimes make veggie muffins for them to eat in the mornings, or help them pour a bowl of cereal. I don't love them any less because I don't make them pancakes, eggs, and bacon DAILY. They get cold sandwiches for school lunches. Hot breakfasts and lunches are squarely a weekend treat in my book, I was raised that way and never thought it meant my SAHM didn't love me. I was also fixing my own breakfasts by high school.

I also think OP is letting her daughter be way too precious about dinners. She thinks vegetable based meals are "disgusting," really? The dad is making what sound like home cooked and healthy meals and instead of being scolded for calling them disgusting, the dad is at fault? My kids would also love to eat pasta, pizza, and meat for dinner every night! But guess what, we often cook Asian food involving mainly tofu and vegetables, or occasionally fish. They often won't eat it, one kid won't even eat plain rice. They can have plain bread, yogurt, and fruit to keep from going hungry, or if they're lucky they can have a bowl of microwaved leftovers if there's something in the fridge, but I'm absolutely not cooking chicken because they won't eat tofu, or allowing "vegetables are disgusting" to keep us from serving vegetables. Being an athlete isn't an excuse, she's not being starved, she's just picky!

Why would you purposely cook a dinner your children won’t eat? This is bizarre.

I'm not doing it AT them! I'm also not going to give up rice, tofu, and vegetables for 18 years because they're picky. These are normal foods that were staples of our adult diets before kids.

You say you do this "often." You purposely make a dinner you know none of your kids like and tell them to eat yogurt or something if they don't like it. This is a choice, and you're definitely communicating something to your kid. Imagine if you went to visit your parents and they made a whole meal they know for a fact you don't like, and told you, oh well, if you don't like it eat a yogurt or something? Children and teenagers are their own individuals and they're allowed to have food preferences. But unfortunately they're dependent on YOU to purchase food for them.

I grew up with my parents making meals I didn't like all the time because I was picky, and my brother had opposite taste so someone was always going to be unhappy. I didn't even get bread and yogurt or microwaved leftovers, we ate what was on the table or went hungry. My husband was raised the same way. I think we're being FAR more accommodating and possibly coddling pickiness with offering these alternatives as is. "Nobody gets to eat Chinese food until Larla goes to college" and "no vegetable-based meals because kids are grossed out by veggies" is an INSANE way to live.

Children are not house guests who visit occasionally. They are people who are learning about food FROM their parents, who do the cooking and know what an actual nutritious meal looks like. I don't make food my kids dislike every night, I even try not to do it multiple nights in a row, but saying the tastes of my 6 year old should dictate our entire family's meals indefinitely is, again, insane.

There is a pretty wide spectrum between letting kids dictate your meals and regularly making a meal over half your household does not like. I care about my child being properly nourished so if I know they don’t like tofu, I would make sure there is another source of protein they will eat with the meal. Attitudes and ideas on feeding kids have evolved, by the way.

I grew up with a mom like you and I’m still mad about. She insisted on making sloppy Joe once a week. I HATED and still hate sloppy joe and it’s not any healthier than any other meat dish she would make. My favorite was a nice cheeseburger. Guess what was never on the family table?

Oh, you got me. I just don't care about my children being properly nourished.

I also grew up with a mom like me and I'm not mad about it at all! I actually feel sorry for her since she had multiple kids with different tastes. She worked hard to put dinner on the table and someone was always complaining. We had a specific meal I hated on at least a weekly basis too, since she and my brother really liked it. I made a version of it for her birthday ths year.

I feel like there is just 0 reason to make a meal every single week that half the family hates. But, I enjoy cooking for and taking care of my family, so I guess your mileage may vary.

As we've established, I hate taking care of my family and don't care about my children's nutrition, just like my mother before me. This is what distinguishes me, a bad mom who cooks a lot of Asian and vegetarian foods, from you, a great mom who doesn't make your kids eat yucky stuff like that.

My kids likes and eat a ton of vegetables, I just don't knowingly make a hated entree multiple times a week. Again, there is a wide spectrum between just letting your kids eat only mac and cheese and nuggets and serving meals you already know they hate and won't eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 17, a junior in high school, so very busy. I make her breakfast every morning—sometimes hot, sometimes cold. If it's cold, I still get everything ready for her: toast the bread, spread the butter, pour the cereal, etc. Yes, she's an only child.

For lunch, sometimes she just wants a snack, so I put that together for her. Other days she wants a hot lunch, and I make it and have it ready when she leaves. She eats dinner with the family, and I make sure she's fed every night. I also don't purposely make foods I know she doesn't like.

If she's hungry during the day, I'll get a snack ready for her, and I usually have one waiting when she gets home. I also pack extra things for her when needed. I don't see any problem with this. She's a child, and I'm her mother. Taking care of her doesn't mean she "needs to grow up." She doesn't. And before anyone assumes I'm a SAHM, I'm not—though there's absolutely nothing wrong with being one.

People truly need to stop judging.

But you're judging Dad for also providing food, just different food.

You don't get to not get judged for your indulging and Dad gets judged for his boundaries. Not how it works.

Dad’s “boundaries” are being a d bag who purposely makes food his daughter doesn’t like. What a loser.

He is cooking for everyone not just her. She can eat the sides and a sandwich or make something else. She’s not a toddler. Or, mom can send food.

Who is everyone? OP hasn't said. It's a little more understandable if there's other kids involved who eat the gross fish. If it's just dad, and DD is only there half the time, then it's just a jerk move.

Found the adult picky eater.

Fish is a very normal thing to eat and not gross.

I'm very picky and don't eat fish, but I will cook it for my family and just eat the sides. No big deal.