Ex won’t make food our daughter will eat

[Anonymous]

My ex-husband and I share custody of our 16 year old daughter. One thing that has become a point of conflict is food at his house.

He doesn't make breakfast for her and basically tells her to grab a granola bar if she's hungry. She doesn't really complain about that, although I do make her breakfast every morning when she's with me.

The bigger issue is dinner. He makes dinner, but often it's nothing my daughter likes. He tells her she can either eat what he made or make herself a sandwich. He doesn't make her an alternative meal or seem concerned about whether she actually eats. As a result, there are days when she barely eats dinner and sometimes goes to bed hungry.

I find this upsetting because I feel like making sure your child is adequately fed is basic parenting. When I brought it up with my ex, he told me that if I want her to eat that food so badly, I can come over to his house and make it there myself. I told him, absolutely not—you need to make dinner for your own daughter.

I just don’t know what do anymore. How can convince to make her a proper dinner?

[Anonymous]

You can't. Yes, it would be great if your ex maintained the same standards that you do, but this is something you cannot control.

I grew up with two parents in the home, but by 16 the rules were the same as your husband's for your daughter -- make yourself breakfast (because I left for school early), and eat what we prepare or make something yourself.

Does he has the ingredients for her to cook something she likes? Can she make a grilled cheese, a quesedilla, or some pasta?

[Anonymous]

Teach her to make a few things. Send her with ingredients. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

A sixteen year old is old enough to be in charge of her own dinner, especially if she doesn't like what's being cooked. He ensures she's properly fed by giving her the stuff to make a sandwich.

It might not be how you'd parent, but if you wanted to be in charge of how she's parented 24/7, divorce was the wrong choice.

[Anonymous]

Ok I’ll bite. Describe the proper dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex-husband and I share custody of our 16 year old daughter. One thing that has become a point of conflict is food at his house.

He doesn't make breakfast for her and basically tells her to grab a granola bar if she's hungry. She doesn't really complain about that, although I do make her breakfast every morning when she's with me.

The bigger issue is dinner. He makes dinner, but often it's nothing my daughter likes. He tells her she can either eat what he made or make herself a sandwich. He doesn't make her an alternative meal or seem concerned about whether she actually eats. As a result, there are days when she barely eats dinner and sometimes goes to bed hungry.

I find this upsetting because I feel like making sure your child is adequately fed is basic parenting. When I brought it up with my ex, he told me that if I want her to eat that food so badly, I can come over to his house and make it there myself. I told him, absolutely not—you need to make dinner for your own daughter.

I just don’t know what do anymore. How can convince to make her a proper dinner?

At 16, she's capable of making herself all her meals. That's crazy, you expect him to make three meals a day. He makes dinner, she chooses not to eat it or offers to cook for everyone, so he offers a sandwich. She's not a toddler anymore. She needs to grow up. If you don't like it, send premade meals with her. Both you and she sound like a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

She is old enough to make her own food if she doesn't like what's being served. She should be cooking dinner for everyone in the house at least weekly as well.

[Anonymous]

My kids have been getting their own breakfasts since they were 9 or 10.

As for dinner, we also only make one meal and you either eat it or find yourself something to eat. Teens can do that - they can even cook for the family and make whatever they like. Unless she has some kind of eating disorder or he is making way out there dishes, then she can eat what he makes or make her own. It would be different if she was a young child but at 16, it sounds like she has been overly catered to at your house and hasn't developed age appropriate life skills.

[Anonymous]

Come on y'all. You need better troll sensors.

[Anonymous]

My parents definitely didnt make breakfast for me every morning when I was 16. I ate cereal or cooked something myself. As for dinner, it depends how picky she is. If she eats everything but turnips, and every meal has turnips, he's being an unreasonable jerk. But if she only eats chicken nuggets and pizza, then it's different. Also, why doesn't she make herself a sandwich or an alternative meal?

[Anonymous]

It will sort itself out when she turns 18 and doesn't want to see her dad anymore because he won't give her basic courtesies. For now, send her with Tupperware of food or teach her to cook simple things.

[Anonymous]

She is 16. Why are you even involved? He has offered you and her so many option. Your kid chooses to go to bed hungry.
I would have told you to keep her.

[Anonymous]

Report him to cps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach her to make a few things. Send her with ingredients. Problem solved.

This. She's 16, not 6.

[Anonymous]

What do you make for your 16 year old for breakfast everyday? Seriously curious.