I feel like I won the parenting wars

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted ED1 to an elite university. Husband and I have worked for years to help him with grades, encouraging increased in AP classes, motivation, ec's, supporting his varsity sport, helping with the mental toughness training/support required for the sport, requiring DS do volunteer work, etc. throughout high school.

Our parenting style differs from our siblings parenting style - they are more "live and let live." DS has also overcome struggles with anxiety and social issues (stress in his sport and around acclimating to a new HS), even us finding vape carts and getting him a therapist). A visit to the emergency room on prom after too much vodka. So many opportunities to veer too far off track.

I'm just feeling so grateful, his senior year, to be on the other side with him heading to a great school with amazing opportunities. I'm also feeling validated with our parenting style. Most importantly, DS is extremely proud of his accomplishment. He did it! We did it! Feeling proud and emotional about this next phase. Parents need to pat ourselves on the back sometimes🥹

Why is it a war? Who the F** are you fighting with? So utterly stupid.

[Anonymous]

You won nothing - this post is embarrassing OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS was accepted ED1 to an elite university. Husband and I have worked for years to help him with grades, encouraging increased in AP classes, motivation, ec's, supporting his varsity sport, helping with the mental toughness training/support required for the sport, requiring DS do volunteer work, etc. throughout high school.

Our parenting style differs from our siblings parenting style - they are more "live and let live." DS has also overcome struggles with anxiety and social issues (stress in his sport and around acclimating to a new HS), even us finding vape carts and getting him a therapist). A visit to the emergency room on prom after too much vodka. So many opportunities to veer too far off track.

I'm just feeling so grateful, his senior year, to be on the other side with him heading to a great school with amazing opportunities. I'm also feeling validated with our parenting style. Most importantly, DS is extremely proud of his accomplishment. He did it! We did it! Feeling proud and emotional about this next phase. Parents need to pat ourselves on the back sometimes🥹

Congrat!

It's refreshing to read such a successful story on DCUM. Unlike so many "DC did it all on their own" made-up fantasy stories, your story is a true team story. I like it. Good job!

[Anonymous]

^Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The tone of this post is very self congratulatory.

It’s great that your part in the parenting worked out well, but please realize that some people are not as educated, healthy, rich, blessed or just plain lucky as you are.

Sure, compare to your siblings and pat yourself on the back. But sometimes people struggle and they’re just doing the best they can or that’s all they know. Have some empathy.

Agreed, or they just have more than 1 child. I know a mom who could have posted this exact thing 4 years ago when our sons were seniors. I would not trade lives with her for anything. Not that there's anything wrong with her life - her husband is a high-earner, they live in a nice house, travel. But everything is for public consumption. I think her inner life is just a big, gaping hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The tone of this post is very self congratulatory.

It’s great that your part in the parenting worked out well, but please realize that some people are not as educated, healthy, rich, blessed or just plain lucky as you are.

Sure, compare to your siblings and pat yourself on the back. But sometimes people struggle and they’re just doing the best they can or that’s all they know. Have some empathy.

Agreed, or they just have more than 1 child. I know a mom who could have posted this exact thing 4 years ago when our sons were seniors. I would not trade lives with her for anything. Not that there's anything wrong with her life - her husband is a high-earner, they live in a nice house, travel. But everything is for public consumption. I think her inner life is just a big, gaping hole.

Why you think her life is a gaping hole?

[Anonymous]

Who were you at war with? Your child?
Nice.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps reframe it as you and your child came through a tough process with ups and downs. And now the child is poised to launch into his new phase of life.


I hope the latter is true and you aren't planning to battle though college too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not a contest. It has almost nothing to do with you. List kids who are competent get themselves there. Stop taking so much credit.

Yep. I just watched “Adolescence”. Two kids two different outcomes. Same parents.

My kid ended up at an Ivy and we did nothing like OP. But, life is long. You never know what will happen. I have always been careful and live by “never say never.” Life has a way of making a fool out of you when you gloat.

[Anonymous]

I know so many parents like OP.

[Anonymous]

Most parents whose kid gets into Ivy or equivalent feel like this I think. Sad that this is the goalpost for them.

[Anonymous]

Who exactly are parents at war with? Our kids, colleges?It's a bit of a weird perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who exactly are parents at war with? Our kids, colleges?It's a bit of a weird perspective.

Other parents and children. This post is so clearly OP feeling superior to her siblings and their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who exactly are parents at war with? Our kids, colleges?It's a bit of a weird perspective.

Other parents and children. This post is so clearly OP feeling superior to her siblings and their kids.

Let them crow. They've earned it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who exactly are parents at war with? Our kids, colleges?It's a bit of a weird perspective.

Other parents and children. This post is so clearly OP feeling superior to her siblings and their kids.

Let them crow. They've earned it.

No one's stopping them, but we can think it's not a good look.